Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Quaint vignettes from my charming rural idyll

For the last two days I have been hearing a strange sound in my right ear; as though I could hear my heartbeat going really fast.  Except it isn't my heart beat.  I took my pulse a few times to make sure and it isn't.  This is kind of like muffled ticking.  If I stick my pinkie finger in my ear the sound goes away.  As soon as I take my finger out of my ear it starts up again. I tried to hold my nose and pop my ear, like how you do if you get water in there?  But that didn't help.  Neither did a Q-Tip.  Yes, here I am, smack in the middle of my fast paced, jet setting lifestyle, hearing sounds nobody else can hear and poking around in my ear with random objects.  I want you to think of me like this always.

Because I am still losing weight, I can now wear those jeans that, when you bend over, your entire ass hangs out.  I have a pair.  I wore them.  I bent over and my entire ass hung out.  I didn't care for it.  It was breezy.

That's pretty much it.