Tuesday, June 11, 2013

WHY I LIVE HERE: PART OCHO...Super-Duper Mart!

This is the sign in front of our local quick-stop/beer cave/truck park, the Super-Duper Mart.  It made me feel loved the first time I saw it, lack of dangly bits notwithstanding.  Now it just makes me feel worried for some reason.  Although the part about the clean restrooms is reassuring; back when we first moved here  the Super Duper had a giant rat trap in the corner behind the ladies' john.  It did keep you mindful, come to that.

 Now I will be the first to admit I have no idea what this means.  Ever since this appeared in front of the Super-Duper Mart I look up in bemusement from time to time and wonder if I am currently experiencing a state of 'moooo'. I could be right now.  I have no idea.  For all I know "Have a 'moooo' of a time"  could be a zen koan. It could be a lot of things, in fact.

One thing is certain:  what it should be, by rights, is facing north, toward the border crossing.  

It is  not.

Still, can your town boast a gigantic inflatable blind cow?  No, it can't.

Once inside the mighty Super Duper Mart you have a variety of  options.  You can choose to be startled and yell 'GAAH!', just as I have on a number of occasions upon seeing this goddamn thing...

Or you can buy stuff

Or you can play this:

which, despite the promise of cheese, contains:

If gambling for butter doesn't make your heart race then I just give up, people.   It used to have cheese and various sausages inside as well but I think it started attracting mafioso-types so they cut back the high-stakes factor.
I keep trying to tell you this is an awesome little town.  If you still refuse to believe me, then maybe you'll believe this, bunkie: