Wednesday, July 02, 2008

UPDATED: Absent excuse

Seriously. Like you'd be inside sitting at the computer. Please Mathilda.

Click on it already, geeze.
Rosa 'Jackie Kennedy' and clematis 'Radar Love' fighting it out to a draw.

...OK fine. Truth be told the rose and the clematis are actually holding me hostage in the back yard UNABLE TO REACH MY COMPUTER. They are demanding money, guns and German scheisse porn.


....If you gank this image and set it as wallpaper on your desktop, they say they will release me unharmed.

I'd do what they say. They seem desperate.

Ghostly, graceful papaver somniferum against a background of gooseneck loosestrife.

If Ratly Stud Frobisher would be pleased to send me the 'recipe' he mentioned a couple of posts ago I would be happy to give it a try (and probably a lot happier afterwards. More than likely constipated too. Still, thats why the Baby Jesus invented bran cereal, right? Papaver somniferum: the dedicated gardeners' dirty little secret.)

More rose than shrub going on here. How do I do it? What's my secret?
I say, why buy blood meal at $6 the bag when Jehovahs Witnesses are free...and deliver themselves right to your door?


Since the big tree out front came down I have half the green material I used to so now I cold compost. I finally finished my first turning of the year (no thanks to whoever used this as a garbage bin)...worked my way down to the bottom of last years heap by degrees as need and weather dictated. Now that its all piled against the side I'm ready to begin layering green and brown material at the far end again. But I'll have to be careful. Here's why-
Check out what I found at the bottom of last years heap...

...a BUMBLEBEE NEST!
See the two round holes? Those are the two main entrances to the bee nest. The shiny stuff all around it that looks like slug slime is actually dried bee spit; what the bee uses to reinforce the walls of its little home. The entire hive extends downward, beneath the old holey blue tarp there that I use as the turning floor of my compost heap.

Cool, huh?

Lets poke it with a stick!
SUDDENLY AN ANGRY, MADDENING BUZZING BEGINS AND MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF ENRAGED BEES AWAKEN FROM THEIR NIGHTMARE DREAMS OF WORLD DOMINATION AND STREAM FORTH, DRIPPING CAUSIC VENOM AND HUNGRY FOR HUMAN FLESH OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


...SUDDENLY A BAZILLION MILLION ANGST RIDDEN TEENAGE BEES HURTLE OUT FROM THEIR

Um....

MILLIONS OF ENRAGED BEES SURGE FORTH LIKE A DEVASTATING TIDAL WAVE OF

ok wait.





Ok. Now.

...ONE!
ONE VERY EXTREMELY PSYCHOTIC MURDEROUS PISSED-OFF PREMENSTRUAL BEE ERUPTS FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL WITH FIERY CAUSTIC VENOM DROOLING FROM ITS ASS-MOUNTED LANCE OF DEATH AND










...oh never mind.




___________________________________
UPDATE:
those pix were taken at 8:30 am this morning. nice day, suns out, blue sky...
yeah. look at it now, at 2:45 pm...

that, my friends, is humidity.
not fog. not dust. HUMIDITY.
all together now: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.
and you folks in the south? shut up. i hear you. you're all 'oo, you think you have it bad? the clothes rot in the closets here! oh, wah wah wah, we have 90% humidity all the time!'
fine; you win the pissing contest.
so lissen: once you finish playing your banjo and raping up Ned Beatty there would you please come get your mutated suckass weather already?

Monday, June 30, 2008

TOTAL LOSER COP-OUT POST but I really would appreciate any answers...

Ok here's the deal:

Lately we have been getting an annoying series of popups in red frames-and supposedly we HAVE multiple popup blockers working already...saying that we have this computer virus and that our computer is under attack etc. This is patent bullshit. We ran our legit cleaners and everything is 'ku. We are fine.

This exact same thing happened about 4 months ago. When my husband clicked on the OK it crashed his computer. Demolished it. Wiped out our pictures, everything. It is something calling itself WinSpyware and it came through with an 'office' type application we had uploaded. Now this might even be the name of a legitimate outfit; but its been stolen and is being used as part of an attack. The consequences of clicking on this 'version' are devastating.

How do you get rid of something like this? Has anyone heard of it? Is anyone familiar with this kind of thing? HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET RID OF IT? Because sure as shit, my husband is going to be unable to control himself and click on the bastard and then whammo, another computer bites the dust.