Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Make a note of it

Dates to remember in FEBRUARY:

Monday, February 20...........Dia de las Presidentes, Puerto Rico.
On this day all Puerto Ricans gather together to comemorate the Presidentes' return to their roosts in the picturesque, ruined chapel of Capistrano.
Lets all sing:
o festival é feliz para meu fígado, Mariao softener da tela,
meu fritar é doloroso, simcante, o meu pancreas hostilpara
baixo no prado, no poo bitty ittymina,
a frase erectile do yorena
costa atlantic selvagemdo
thee eu canto

The festival is happy for my liver, Maria softener of the screen,
mine to fry is painful, yes, sings my pancreas
hostile in the Prado,
in poo bitty mine,
the phrase erectile, phrase erectile, the wild coast atlantic,
of thee I sing

February 2- Groundhog Day. Nobody knows what this holiday means.

February 28-Mardi Gras. Go to New Orleans, get dog-raping drunk, show your tits, puke, get arrested, go home. Yes, we know how to party here in America.

February 12- Lincolns Birthday. Inventor of the famous childrens building toy. He freed the logs.

February 22-Washingtons Birthday. I live in Washington. Nobody told me about this.
Lets all sing:

Sie sind glücklich, glücklich veil das Vieh,
wenn die Sonne einstellt,

They are lucky, lucky to veil the cattle, if the sun adjusts,
mocking Patti LaBelle,
forgotten never our Patrimony
those violent socks of despair.

February 24- Dia de la Bandera. Day of The Band. In Mexico, they really, really like Bob Dylan.

February27- Dia del Cevismo. Day of Beer in Brazil.

Conversational Brasilish:

Ach, du Leiber? tentamos alguns de este deliciouso braino. Fiz -me do the corpse.
Have a cevismo? It is quite delicious.
Tente chumpam meu dick se ousa.
Don't mind if I do, Mr. Brazil person. Thank you kindly.
I el-misso a roupa interior por vezes.
No, not at all America person, we encourage drunkenness.
Dar todos os seus dinheiro, sair.
Mr. Brazil person, you are truly a civilized man.
O cheiro como o meu gato., gosto de estrangeiro.

February 14-Washingtons birthday. No wait, St. Valentines day. St Valentine is the patron saint of pawnbrokers. His motto: If you can't sell it, then you just sit on it, 'cause you sure aint' givin' it away.
Words I live by.

February 22- Washingtons Birthday. What did these women do back then, just lie around and breed presidents? Jesus!

February 5- Aniversario de la Constitutio, Mexico. Anniversary of Walking, also known as National Constitution day. How is your constitution doing lately? I know mine is a little under the weather.
That was a political joke! Ha!

February 6 -Waitangi day, New Zealand.
Lets all sing:
Waitangi, waitangi, a laissé le désespoir de blokes de ghoulish!
Les oiseaux de la lumière ont-ils collé rapidement
dans le gril de votre automobile?
notre greatness de foretathers brille sur le newt dans le dell,
ainsi chantez chantent chantent mes enfants,
vont, Biloxi, vont!

Waitangi, waitangi, oh, the desperation of blokes of ghoulish!
The birds of the light have stuck quickly in the grill of the automobile.
Ours, the greatness of forefathers shining on the newt in the dell,
So it sings sing sing my children,
Some other stuff, yeah!


  1. You should do Waitangi Day in Maori. It's funnier sounding.
    Oh gods, that's all I need, a bunch of Kiwi's parading around and telling me how hard the Maori have it. Bleh.

  2. there is no such language as Maori.i use google language tool. if they don't list it, then it isn't a language. the Maoris are a mute race.

  3. i don't know who you are or how you found my blog but i like you.

    you may live to regret this.