And here they are in their late seventies and they're sick.
Fuck it all, folks. No, really, fuck it ALL. I'm never dieting, never going to stop drinking, never going to take it easy. If this is how it ends up anyway then there's nothing that's going to prevent me from living while I have the chance. I mean, Jesus Christ; all Lance Armstrong's ever done is ride around on a fucking bicycle drinking protein shakes and he's minus a nut.
I say this because yesterday I unleashed upon an unsuspecting world the cholesterol death quiche from Planet Tallow. Now, nobody does a pate brisee like me. I am the pate brisee Goddess. Half a cup of butter went into shortening that little honey and it came out fluffy, light and perfect. Homemade pork sausage, mushrooms, onion, smoked basa and shallot filled it. Oh, and four eggs; can't forget them.
Topped with a cup of caraway gouda.
Utterly dee-luscious.
Hey, at least I'm no longer shortening them with schmalz. Or duck fat. So that makes it healthier. Right?
Inasmuch as cobra venom is healthier than being hit with a tactical nuke; then yes, it does.
UPDATE:
oo! oo! i found a pinto!
Yes, after tirelessly searching the web to bring you the best in human misery, I present to you Jesus Is Lord DuFresne doing the perp walk:
Have a Happy Easter, won't you?
SO sorry about the parents-in-law.
ReplyDeleteAlso, alarmed by the picture.
My cholesterol count just went up by reading this post.
ReplyDeleteThe picture is heinous...truly heinous.
ReplyDeletesorry to hear about the in-laws. really tho, late seventies is a good ripe age. if you're active and healthy past that i think it's basically just luck.
ReplyDeletewhinger: thanks, hon.
ReplyDeletemj- took us two days to eat it, and it was only a 6x2 circle pan. just a nibbler!
elle- i heard he works for your oral hygenist.
...oh, no, is only my joking! ha!
no, he works at your hospital, down in the cafeteria.
cb: its what they say; birth is the leading cause of death. ya know what i say? harleys, beer and burritos-you'll have to pry them out of my cold, dead hands. which at the rate i'm going may be sooner than i think!
glad you're back!!!!
Is the picture a fake?
ReplyDeleteSoz to hear about your in-laws. My Granny took a tumble last year, which kind of brought it home for me.
When I turn sixty, I'm gonna smoke pipes and cigars...
noshit: 100% real. that is a pinto. sorry about gran, sweetheart. ha yew?
ReplyDeletelooks suspiciously like the trailer where I spent the weekend . . . but not me I have better legs.
ReplyDeleteSmoked basa? schmalz? what are they? Y'know its hard to believe that the USA was one of our colonies once, using words like that. Remember your international readers!
A fine excuse to Eat More Cake if ever I saw one.
ReplyDeletequiche makes me puke.
ReplyDeletethat trailer guy was hot, though.
frobi: muchas smoochas! basa is a kind of sausage, schmalz is rendered chicken fat.
ReplyDeletefukkit: hell, don't wait for cake. drink the batter.
surly: light, wibbly quiche is an abomination. my quiche is proof of divine love.
pinto boy is proof that 'devolution' is not just a pretty word.
They're both sick? Is this sudden, or are you just sharing it at the same time?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, that man looks pregnant.