So I woke up this morning, and I looked over, and there was a starling perched on the shade of my bedside lamp looking at me.
Yeah.
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UPDATE:
And now sparrows are flying in the kitchen door and landing on my head.
Yes, a sparrow just came in, while I was bent over the sink doing a nasal irrigation with salt water, no less?
And landed on my head.
I can't even irrigate my damn nose without birds watching me now.
(My daughter claims that they are in little bird film school and they're doing a little bird documentary on me.)
Simply excellent.
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Did he quoth the word "Nevermore"?
ReplyDeleteBecause if so, he was plagiarizing.
why was a starling in your house?
ReplyDeletehow did it get there?
are you sure you didn't imagine it?
that's what you get for inviting beast and mj over for a party.
stop smoking the funny stuff.
At least it wasnt nesting in your bush !!!
ReplyDeletestarlings are vile creatures i hope you shot it...
ReplyDeleteIf you mounted the starling on the end of your dyson flexi tube , it would make a great feather duster
ReplyDeleteOR
Mounted on a stick it would make a bio degradable lavatory brush.
Who said saving the planet had to be dull and worthy
***grins evilly***
what did you say to it?
ReplyDeleteDid it stay for breakfast?
ReplyDeleteA startling what?
ReplyDeleteHey, at least it wasn't a vulture. That would've been disturbing.
ReplyDeleteA friend told me that about half a dozen starlings suddenly flew down the chimney and out from his fireplace in a cloud of soot. Perhaps they get fed up of the outdoor life and want home comforts.
Holy Hannibal Lecter!
ReplyDeleteDid you say, "Run Run Run Clarice?"
Odd, hubby found a fledgling finch in the doorway of the kitchen yesterday morning. They have decided to take over I think. Yay for the birds!
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE:
ReplyDeleteI know I have been bad. I know I have not been responding to comments. Mea fricken' culpa already. I still love you, and I still read you, but I just be too damn friggy tired to be thinking of the commentings. Get over it. Do some drugs or something. Remember: if god had not wanted you to take recreational drugs he would not have invented stress. G'head. Have some schedule 'A'. Tell them I said it was ok.
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That having been said:
ReplyDeleteMJ: he quoth the word 'skir!' and then I quoth the word 'What the fuck?" and he flew the quoth out the window.
pink: because I left the window open all night and there aren't any screens in them. I do not smoke the funny stuff. I do, however, make a mean Alice B. Toklas fudge, however.
beast: thank you for raising the tone of discourse around here. america salutes you!
geezly CHRISTMAS, beast.
daisy: i could not agree with you more, my dear daisy. i did not shoot it, but i did use a bad swear.
beast: you have just redeemed yourself, sir! *drapes 'Bathrobe of Extreme Honor with all holes in and stains that smell like beer and marinara' over beasts broad and manly shoulders* I like the toilet wand idea particularly, seeing as it would be a kind of poetic justice for what they've done to my damn attic and front porch steps.
CB: I said 'What the fuck?' being as I had just woke up. It flew away. a couple days earlier when the pms was in full swing i would have pulled the 45 out the nightstand and blown its feathered butt to starling hell. damn birds.
gale: NO. it probably flew into the exhaust pipe of a UPS truck or something. starlings are not bright birds. but it WAS bright enough to get its ass out my face.
FOOTMAN: a startling realization that there was a juvenile turdus turdus up in my crib looking all in my face like 'WTF?' be pissin my shit OFF, yo.
betty: she'd love it here. we have a protected colony of chimney swifts living in the flues of the Old Custom House at the border. Every home in town with a fireplace here has to have a bird guard on it because the swifts will do that exact thing in the middle of winter the first time you start a fire.
maestro Coppensa: I was waiting for the Silence of the Clams. because those clams, they're loud little bastards. they are. Silence, clams.
Joy: there ya go! I had a female goldfinch follow me all over the yard the other day LOOKING at me. THE BIRDS WAS A DOCUMENTARY, FOLKS.
no wonder you get a cold on your chest leaving the windows open!
ReplyDeleteWhat ever it is that aethiests do when they would otherwise, were they Christian, pray for you, do. I do for you.
ReplyDeleteYou're presence in my life has made it richer. I thank you.
Hic! anymore wine in that bottle?
Um, Does having a bat hibernating or taking a vertical dirtn nap in your basement count? At no time did rinsing of nasal passages occur.
ReplyDeleteBEAST said...
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasnt nesting in your bush !!!
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Ewwwwww!
Hey, FN!!!
Bite those sparrows darn heads off. They aren't keen on that.
ReplyDeleteCrunchy crunchy crunchy mmmmmm!
I apologise for any Bush Nesting Comments I may have made in the past. Now I am 47 I am a changed man :-)
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure it's a documentary on disgruntled gardeners. They are trying to rile you to violence so they can justify their attack on the barbaric farmers and their berry nets. Sheild yer eyes!
ReplyDeleteAlso I bet if you leave cheap red wine and pamphlets on paying off tiny bird film school loans and graduate schools for tiny birds, they will leave you alone for a bit.
Only you, FN. Only you.
ReplyDelete