This time dear old Nations has gone undercover at the Lynden Christian Thrift Store with her trusty digital and found a virtual Alladins' Cave filled with the lost treasure of the White People!
Actually it was four banana boxes full of old lp's.
Now is that a clever title or what? Come on now. Thats clever. Sure it is. Get it? You're a believer, right, but your ass is all flabby and you have those wibbly wobbly things all up under your arms so you want to get in shape, or, in other words,'firm up', right? So you can be a 'firm believer'? See? See what they did there?
Tell you what, my old Barbie dolls had more 'toe. No really. Remember? Barbie had the faintest little crease (I know, what kind of a big perv even looks at poor Barbies 'area', I know, I know, mea fricken culpa, I was a perverted little kid, yes yes yes.)
I think these dairy princesses reproduce by exercising until something falls off; and then it divides and pulsates and throws off spores until it turns into a Bratz doll.
God, really, we need to chat. Whats with this thing on my wifes' head? And don't tell me its a mystery; I can already see that. I tell you what; it's is putting a strain on my ability to believe in a benevolent Deity.
...No, you certainly do NOT need to understand. That's why they call it 'Blind Faith'. Which I own. I do not recall Jimmy Swaggart being part of the lineup. Ginger Baker, Eric Clapton, Steve Winwood, Rick Grech....yes. Something is REALLY OFF HERE. I need to stop thinking about it too.
This is really really disturbing, and therefore eminently worth clicking on to enlarge and examine.
I read the liner notes, and sure enough, Bride of Chuckie there is the one that does the singing on this album, as if the look of terror and resignation on the face of the cement deer weren't clue enough.
I have a terrible feeling that this manic little homonunculus is going to be featuring prominently in my dreams at some point in the future. And that the nice lady in the background there? will have her hand up little Marcy's butt the whole time.
Is Marcy the love child of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans?
ReplyDeleteIs that what that note says?
That's Frobisher's wig hat!
ReplyDeleteWhat has cheese got to do with anything?
OMG I thought I was the only young white girl who got a wig hat for Christmas and wore it with hairspray and everything until a gorgeous Senior patted me on the head one day in study hall....
ReplyDeleteMJ, it is the Blue Moose that is compelling you to roll cheese wheels across the border into Nation's yard.... =O
ReplyDeletemj: I think its a disavowal of any knowledge, like on Mission: Impossible where the guy on the tape says the secretary will disavow any knowledge of their activities? I think thats what Dale is doing there in that letter. Why, I don't know. I think Dale spent too much time with her horse.
ReplyDeletemj2: ...whats cheese, but a second hand emotion? whats cheese got to do with it? who needs a cheese when a cheese just gets broken?
retro: is that REALLY a hat? seriously, is that a hat? were there hats like that? I tried to get the bizzare 'patent leather' sheen of the thing, whatever it is. it looked like it was made out of a horses tail. its just amazing and huge. It kind of looks like one of those Swiss houses with the little whoop de do on the eaves so the snow doesn't all slide off in a big clump and kill goats.
ponita: don't read too much significance into it. sometimes a moose is just a moose. *dunks mj into toilet planter, which I do not have and is not in my yard*
Hm, a girl could carry an awful lot of stuff through customs in that sort of hairdo.
ReplyDeleteAnd why is Jimmy Swaggart standing like he's got something up his jacksie? "I *feel* your pain, believe me, for I am wearing the lord's butt-plug."
I hope it is Jimmy Swaggart. My short-term memory is getting alarmingly bad lately. If I've got the name wrong, it's the man standing like he's got something up his jacksie, whatever you call it. Him. That thing.
God is Edgar Bergen. Jesus is Charlie McCarthy. So who is Candice? Mary Magdalene? The Holy Ghost? Anita Bryant?
ReplyDeleteWe demand to know.
Jimmy Swaggart is Jerry Lee Lewis's cousin.
ReplyDeleteThis is why he took to romping with prostitutes in seedy motel rooms. And why not?
It's in the genes see.
Now I wish I hadnt gotten rid of my LPs. Brady Bunch, Donny Osmond and the like. Sad
ReplyDeleteI thought that read "Mike and Linda Mud Rock" - which would be worth a twirl on the turntable of any home.
ReplyDeleteGarfer said "Jimmy Swaggart is Jerry Lee Lewis's cousin."
ReplyDeleteLOL, I was too lazy to google it, and I shall simply trust you.
This is why he took to romping with prostitutes in seedy motel rooms. And why not?"
Indeed. Someone's got to do it. Even Disraeli used to do it, in a slightly more decorous Victorian way.
I think I might try wandering around the posh districts with a sign round my neck saying "Lounge-lizard for hire, glossolalia at no extra cost", and see who takes me home with them.
Sopwith: Garfer is correct.
ReplyDeletePlus...Mickey Gilley is another cousin.
*wonders what "the lord's butt plug" looks like*
ReplyDeleteThe doll in the last one creeps me out.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have all the cool swag down south don't ya?
For some unknown reason, Lynden fascinates me. It's either because I could cause much trouble there or because I'm a quarter Dutch.
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't that Murdock fellow one of those awful religious scam show dudes who wants you to send him $2,000 and in return God will bless you with more money than the Stimulus?
sopwith: right in one! that is indeed mr. swaggart. absent from the shoot is is golden evangelical pianola machine or whatever he was calling his dick back then.
ReplyDeletetim: she is THE WALRUS.
garfy: zackly right! theres no bizness like show bizness!
gale: I'll lend you my copy of 'Go West' by the Village People and you can sleep with it under your pillow.
Ara: that DOES sound intriguing, huh. long time no see, chickie!XX!
sopwith: see, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I remember this episode. did you ever see a picture of what swaggart was hitting? that strategy could backfire REALLY BAD.
mj: its that dang ol dang ol juggalo carny blood...i bet theres a long line of snake oil salesmen, table rappers, chautauqua frauds, pitchmen, drummers, low strollers and goliards reaching back into the dim dimness of unwashed antiquity there. and they're probably all their own grandfathers too.
bitchy: do we need to go back to Ross' store, darling? Because we can.
geo: COME GET IT. you want it? please. rent a u-haul. seriously. you can stay in my spare room. TAKE IT AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
xul: you know how when you're walking along and you come up on a fresh road kill and you don't want to look but you can't help it? and you look around until you find a stick, and you pick it up and go over to the road kill and you poke it until it comes unstuck from the road and you can roll it over and see whats underneath it? thats the fascination. now go take a shower.
Well, that last line, who wouldn't want to have their hand up Marcy's butt?
ReplyDeletejoeVegaS: you go take a shower too. a cold one. and, ew.
ReplyDeleteBest receipes start with the golden words:
ReplyDeleteSCRAP it from the ROAD!
Well, dang me! (Not too sure what that means, but I did always want to say it.)
ReplyDeleteJimmy's golden piano looks a mite small...and yes, they-all got a mess o' cuzzins down on the bay-you.
FN - of course Dale spent time with her horse. Bloody Roy was sleeping with Trigger. That's even recorded on film. Film which little kiddies (like me!) were allowed to see.And they think the internet is all porn.?
So that Firm Believer thing. What's the deal? It looks like wanna be Jane Fonda exercise dominatrix stuff. BUT IT'S VINYL??? As in, audio only? How do you firmly believe in anything you can't see? Am I missing something?
ReplyDeleteI am facinated with the Golden Gospel Piano and frightened by Marcy in equal measure
ReplyDeletemago: that was the title of the cookbook my mom used! wow! did you grow up in Oregon too?
ReplyDeleteDinah:america is a strange, strange place. the horses make out like bandits, though.
dangerPanda: how dismayingly secular and humanist of you. go directly to hell.
beast: I think Marcy lives in that one broads' hairdo. with the spiderssssssssssssssss.