Yellow Monkey Irregularity Caper!! Danger!!

Oh good gravy Marie enough of that.

Instead, here are two sauce recipes.

And here is the link for measurement conversions for wacky and non-wacky foreign persons:
http://www.wwrecipes.com/convert.htm
...so don't say I never gave you anything.

Tomato-Lemon-Basil Toss Sauce (you shut up, Frobi)
...best over fettucini


1 handful sun dried tomatoes (you shut up, Beast)
1 cup hot water
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
Juice of one cocktail lemon (you know, those little bitty round lemons, not the big honkers that look like a boob.)
1/2 tsp fresh rosemary, approx.
1/2 tsp fresh thyme, approx.
1/4 cracked black pepper (I use more)
Chiffonade of fresh basil, 1/4 cup (measured after cutting)
Zest of one cocktail lemon
salt to taste

optional: 1/4 cup simple white sauce.


-Soak the tomatoes in the hot water. When hydrated, remove and julienne, reserving liquid.
-Chiffonade basil
-Zest lemon, using one of those zesters that makes long strips if you have one. If not, no biggie. Use a grater. See if I care.

Set all these aside in a bowl, and add the cracked pepper.

To juice the lemon, first wham the zested cocktail lemon against the counter, roll it around, and squish it in your fist a few times. I mean, don't burst it, but make it say your name. This helps break up the little pearls inside it, which makes it easier to squeeze out all the juice. Of course if you have a lemon squeezer thingie don't bother smacking your lemon around. I don't have a lemon squeezer thingie. I just squash the lemon half in my hand and pick out the seeds, because I am a low tech barbarian.

-Dump tomato soaking water, olive oil and lemon juice into blender with the rosemary and thyme and blend until completely liquified.

-Dump into the bowl with the other stuff. Now, give it a taste and salt it. Depending on your ingredients, you can stop here and use this 'as is' over pasta. Maybe use a little parmesan cheese to help it stick.

By adding a little white sauce, you get a thicker sauce which has a milder, richer flavor. This would go nice on some spinach noodles.

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Asiago Cream Sauce....because your arteries are not clogged enough.
...wondering what to do with that boring-ass poached chicken breast? Wonder no more. Dump this sauce over it, run it under the broiler to put a nice brown on there, and once you taste it you will forget all about how you are speeding recklessly toward a quadruple bypass.

2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup (packed) cream cheese
1 heaping teaspoon cornstarch
2 teaspoons powdered bread crumbs
1/4 tsp grated garlic
1/2 cup grated Asiago cheese
salt and WHITE pepper to taste

Dump all this into the Cuisinart and blend the everloving crap out of it. Get it completely liquified.

Now taste it for salt, add what it needs, and put it over the fire. This is a cornstarch sauce, so you know the drill....stirring constantly, bring it up slowly to medium, then crank it up to high. Keep on stirring! When it begins to kick, turn down the heat to low, keep on stirring to make sure theres no big lumps, then once the danger of boiling has passed let it sit. It will continue to thicken up a bit.

Before serving, run an immersion blender through it just to make sure it's completely smooth. Thin with a little milk if necessary.