The goonybird has invented a new dance we call 'The Propeller Dance.' It' a variation of the Stompy dance and it involves many of the same moves and positions as the Stompy dance (which is a dance danced by stomping around in a circle using one foot as a pivot.) However, the Propeller Dance is only performed when the artist is unencumbered by a diaper.
Yes, friends, he's discovered how to get his dinger zipping around in a circle on purpose.
So impressed with himself was he that he woke grandpa out of a sound sleep to witness its debut performance. By all accounts, it was quite a show. We thought grandpa was going to tear himself a new hernia.
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Spin like a propeller?
ReplyDeleteMy God. That's scared me out the genepool for a while.
I'm sure people would pay alot of money. Come see the amazing First Nations and her... Ah, I'm not even gonna go there.
Roll up, roll up. Only $2 for a look. Her Dance of the Seven Veils and one Hot dog bun...
Oh dear.
Spin like a propeller?
ReplyDeleteMy God. That's scared me out the genepool for a while.
I'm sure people would pay alot of money. Come see the amazing First Nations and her... Ah, I'm not even gonna go there.
Roll up, roll up. Only $2 for a look. Her Dance of the Seven Veils and one Hot dog bun...
Oh dear.
Hahaha! I would pay ANYONE to see them dance with a big grin on their face and make it spin like a propeller - let alone see the debut along with grandpa's reaction!
ReplyDeleteSo, even if the drawing does not work out, just get yourself a strapon and head towards the nearest street corner. Either way, I think you could make hundreds of dollars.
Seriously, though, try doing some etchings at home. Find something that inspires you - even if it's a caricature of the gooneybird swinging his stuff around - just to see if you still thrive off of the work as well. You'll regain some confidence in your abilities. Plus, you'll have something fun to add to the good old portfolio.
yes, i know you meant me, dear. if that comment came off as sounding ungrateful, i certainly didn't intend it that way. i thank my lucky stars every damn day for the amazing opportunities i've had.
ReplyDeletebut i have been somewhat, erm, priveledged in my life. I've never been stoned off my tits, i've never had to sleep in a doorway (came close once), never even had my utilities cut off. I've never worried where my next meal was coming from. Why does this matter? It matters because to me life is about more than just being comfortable. I'll be able to live a comfy life, i'm not worried about that. What really matters is being a good person, being a good citizen and member of your community, having genuine compassion for those around you and ACTING on it. So many people don't give a shit for anyone else, and it's because they've never been in need themselves. I don't want to become one of those people, those smug middle-class assholes who tell pan-handlers to 'get a job.' I just think that if i got properly chucked out on my ass for a while that in the long run I would have more empathy for anyone struggling. there is such a thing as too comfy.
by the way, propeller dance: fucking HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeletethough you realize of course that now the gooneybird thinks he's gods gift to entertainment you will never ever be able to break him of this activitiy. he he he.
There are two Australian guys who make a showbiz living doing unfeasible things with their bits. In fact I'm told spinning it like a propeller is the least of it.
ReplyDeletehowdy!
ReplyDeletethe group you're thinking of is called 'Puppetry of the Penis'. (It's supposed to be hilarious. Me, I think 'too much spare time.) At least I know that theres a career waiting for him somewhere in the world. Just what every grandmother dreams of. 'Oo, see the guy second from the left? With the banana outfit? Thats my grandson!'
Don't want to say that I know how you feel cos that is really dismissive but I think I sort of do....
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with wanting cash! Took me years to work out that having money or getting money for your skills (be it a propeller dance, rocket science, brain surgery or whatever) is not shameful. I@m really dismissive of this happy clappy give your skills away for free stuff. Sure, help people out if you can. But its not a lifeswork unless you're Mother Theresa and by all accounts she was one mean mother (excuse the pun) with her eye on the money anyway (even though she used the money for a good purpose)...
The scared thing is normal - well I keep telling myself it's normal. It's easy to do something that isn't important to you. Something that is, something that you'll put out there and that bares your soul to the worlds judgement is terrifying...
The best piece of advice that I ever got was from my dad who told me that people pay good money for the rush you get from being scared. They jump out of planes, they take drugs, they wrestle alligators.
The second best piece of advice I also got from him was that they can't shoot you. It kinda takes the seriousness out of life.
Just jump in. Try everything you've ever fancied trying. Take up something you think you might hate. Take up something you might like. Don't exclaim with a loud flourish "I'm going to be a....(whatever)" Sneak it past your inner Herbert (I call my terror Herbert which makes it easier to tell it to fuck off when I get scared)
howdy, hendrix, and thanks!
ReplyDeleteyou know, i really like the idea of naming it herbert? no, i mean it. except i'll name mine something different. skippy the happy puppy? vanelda grebe?? lavinia deustchland uber alles? I'll work on it.
doesn't matter what you call it so long as its a name that you cant possibly take seriously!
ReplyDelete