Tuesday, April 18, 2006



Anyway, what would jesus do?
Good question.
Lets examine the J-dog, shall we?
He: hung out with prostitutes. and fishermen. got married, if you buy the apocrypha. thought globally, acted locally. kicked asses in a synagogue. did miracles of feeding and healing. was generous. didn't suck up to the rich. was an orthodox jew. enjoyed public speaking. got his feet wet.

Phone interview, 9:30 am, Tuesday
her: So what is his condition?
Me- Well basically he's perfectly fine except he keeps passing out all the time. No alzheimers or anything like that. Its just that if he stands up he passes out, and he keeps standing up. All he needs is someone to steady him while he gets up in the mroning and gets dressed...you know, bathroom stuff, not, you wouldn't have to bathe him or wipe him, but steady him while he does all that.
her: Oh, thats fine. (laughs) and only part time?
Me: Uh huh. Well, five days a week for a couple of weeks. But just from 7: am to about 11:00 am for the first couple of weeks, then three times a week, then twice...just until he has his operation.
Her: (laughs) Well...lets see...I'll have to do some juggling...I have another client...
Me: Oh. well, we need someone next week. Listen, do you know any other resources; like services or, do you know anyone who needs a client?
her: Oh sure. (laugh) Get ahold of the LDS Job Service. Its a free service, they don't charge a fee, and they have, like caretakers and chore people..
Me: LDS? the Lakeway Drive...?
her: Latter Day Saints. Uh huh. (laughs) They have lots of people.
Me: Hm. You know, my father in law's out.
Me: Does...
her: (in a higher voice) oh, that doesn't matter......they help everyone...uh. they
Me: So they have a job board...
her: (same voice) oh, well, yes.....they dont care, i mean......its....well....oh. He's....?
Me: Do they-
her: (same voice) I, he...but, I mean, don't worry; they help anybody.

So Remember:
If you are old, sick, a danish cartoonist, a child molester and a raper of dogs, the LDS has got your back.
But if you are old, sick and gay, lie in your own shit and die.

Heres a subject Ive been meaning to foam and rant about for a long time, but I havent because i didnt want to say anything ignorant. first off, my tastes are eclectic. yes, my family knows. but that doesnt qualify me to talk about anybodys sex life except my own anyway, but still
tell me who in fuck does it hurt for two people to have sex? or for two people to love each other? tell me who?
once you're a consenting adult, its all good. and thats what i taught my daughter.
they didnt know everything back in bible days.
but you know what? the only person in that entire book who made any sense, who had nothing whatsoever to say about who screwed who?
Love one another.
Not love one another but only opposite sexes; everyone else out of the pool. no.
There isn't a lot of love in the world now and there wasnt then.
So love one another.

but if you want to go shit in the LDS' mailbox, i'll give you a box to stand on.


  1. Anonymous12:51 PM


    No one. That's who.

  2. Shit in a mailbox? Yeah, but I wish I could piss through letter boxes. That would be a fun and handy skill.

  3. you're so right. I hate this obsessing about everyone else's love life!

    (hi by the way :-) just thought I'd drop by and see what's cooking here)


  4. What an excellent post. Hit the nail on the head. Id love to believe in a God who loved everyone regardless. The Bible wasn't written by him or Jesus just people "interpreting" their words and actions. A bit like Dubya and Blair justifying their wars. As it happens the theory of evolution has been proved over and over again by science, and it makes a lot more sense than some mystical being knocking up the world in a week.
    I was watching the Simpsons the other day. It was the episode where the comet was going to land on Springfield and wipe them out. Homer was watching TV taking notes as they were doing "rolling credits" about who was gay. A nice reflection about society and its preoccupation about what people do behind closed doors.

  5. cb: thank you, my darling.
    whinger: great minds, my dear.
    fukkit: make public urination a hecckuva lot easier too.
    kyah: welcome welcome!
    frobi: one of my favorite episodes!

    everyone: sorry the punctuational type dohickeys degenerate into mush by the end of the this post. i was so angry i was almost unable to type.

  6. Seen you swimming by,hello.

    My favourite line from the Bible?

    "And Jesus wept"

    Sad innit??

  7. welcome, s.i.d! and yes. yes indeed.

  8. fuck 'em all, that's what i say. stupid, bigoted, brainless, shortsighted DICKHEADS.

    ooh, ranting is good, isn't it?

  9. I dunno where I heard this but it sums it up:

    "It never ceases to amaze me how many people waste so much time worrying that someone, somewhere, is enjoying themselves in a way they don't approve of."

  10. i could be wrong, but i think that was in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

  11. dang, y'all. thank you.

    surly: ranting AND vengeful weeding of flowerbeds!
    fukkit: excellent! btw, you've had work done...?
    cb: douglas adams gets a big'ol blow job for that one, then.
    starfbm: welcome welcome! and thank you!

  12. I wish I couldonly count on one hand the number of times I've been disgusted by things like that...

  13. Some of my favourite old dudes are gay. Look at Ian McKellen. Every year he leads the Gay Pride March in England. Maybe you should ring them up and say you've got Ian McKellen needing help, see what they say then. The bastards. Fuck 'em all. What do they sodding know? And, hey, maybe they're the reason for this redneck agenda Green Day are so pissed off about. Bigoted buggers. Your old boys so like Oscar Wilde. Maybe he'll get Jude Law as his Bosie. But nicer. Good luck, and don't let them get you down!

  14. You thought I'd be offended by you or the hypocrites? If the latter, you're right.