One of the nicest things in the world is watching an egg fry. They make a nice chuckling sound and they bubble, the edges get brown and lacy and the yellow beams up at you like a happy sun. I need breakfast.
The poor Goonybird got sent home from daycare yesterday crusted with goop. He has a less virulent version of the crud I have, poor little tato.
His daycare is a great place. Someone bought adjoining residential properties in the middle of Bellingham, enclosed the whole thing with a fence and turned it into a really neat kid compound like a little secret garden world. The house at the back of the garden is toddler Seg. When I went back there with the teacher I could hear a chorus of tired little voices joined in the 'Just Woke Up From Afternoon Nap' seranade. It cracked me up, and the teacher cracked up too. They know better than to let the little diaper demons into GenPop.
After a visit to the doctor, I took him back home and we watched The Wizard of Oz three times. I feel it is my job as his grandmother to introduce him to Great Camp Film while he is young and moldable. 'You told me to live, live, LIVE!' he'll shout when his mommy discovers him eating carpenter ants, covered in postage stamps. 'Well, I LIVED!' He should have a solid foundation in the classics by the time he is ready for kindergarten. Which child is my grand son? The one sitting in Morning Sharing Circle with a newspaper on his head throwing hot dogs at the teacher. *snif* damn, need a tissue.
I am a postmodern grandma.
I have a very disturbing and very politically incorrect group of memories dealing with mentally challenged kids. This is an issue that I am going to be working out in this space. I am going to post them next. I do not intend to be anything other than what I have always been or to express myself kindly or carefully. If this is a tender subject for anyone, either get ready or plan other activities. Nobody has to read it and nobody gets blamed for avoiding it either. Hell, I've been avoiding it for forty years.
The same goes for the subject of race. I have noticed a real redneck, racist tone coming out in some of my stuff...yesterdays' entry in particular. I will be dealing with it the same way, with the same language. I'd better. Nobody has to read this stuff. Any of you who are black, bear in mind that I am completely lost in this subject. I know nothing about black culture and I don't know the polite or correct way to express myself and it's going to show. I do not like this in myself. Butt-ignorance is not a pretty thing. I invite you to smarten me up. God knows I need it.
You Have Been Warned.
Does anyone have a bible story or something that they'd like me to write an insightful and exhaustively researched essay on? Or a school of art, or something? Because I'm going to need to lighten up the tone around here occasionally during the course of all this garbage. Send in your requests or ideas. I already have a trove of inappropriate Venus nipple tweaking cached....
Am actually quite looking forward to the window into your biases. It's something that intrigues me (not just yours, but in general).
ReplyDeleteindeed. it's hard to admit, but i think everyone's got their prejudices. i should make more of an effort at identifying and conquering mine.
ReplyDeleteand nipple tweaking is good.
"I have noticed a real redneck, racist tone coming out in some of my stuff"
ReplyDeleteIf you were actually a racist (as opposed to prejudices, which every one is to some extent) you wouldn't notice it.
I agree with Billy. Bring it on.
ReplyDeleteMr. Nations, might I suggest an in-depth review of the Bauhaus?
ReplyDeleteWhy do people keep thinking you're a dude?
ReplyDeleteI personally think it is all the chest hair.
Yo FN , opinion is one of the spices of life , go for it , I cant wait.
ReplyDeleteNipple Tweaking sounds great so does Bauhaus , I wonder if there is a way of combining the two
****scratches chin***
I actually cant now remember many Bible Stories , I had a Big bible with pictures when I was a kid , but sadly the dog took a fancy to the glue on the spine and ate it , which I think was the beggining of the end with me and religion , I couldn't quite get my 6 year old head round the fact that an all powerful god had allowed this to happen.
A bible story? Are you insane?
ReplyDeleteWizard of Oz three times? Clearly insane.
I was always annoyed by Naomi and the field of corn. Still am.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's always Bathsheba. Anything with David, in fact....stopping...NOW!
The squashed lip syndrome of the pre-Raphs could be a way to relax after all your hard work.
And the goonybird - has he met Bette yet?
whinger: you were brave; you showed us yours first.
ReplyDeletethat sounded wrong. hell, you get the idea.
cb:yes, and yes. but not 'trying to tune in radio free europe' style tweaking.
billy: well, we shall see. definition is probably as much of the problem as anything else is.
hendrix: jawohl! how is your sich lately???
witsie: i dont know very much about the bauhaus or i would. i came to modernism in my 30's and im still in the rapturous infatuation stage...never looked into the underlying philosophy. you have a very sexy education, by the way. get ahold of Chaucers' Bitch for a brain buddy!
neur: i should shave. i tried waxing but it scared the dogs.
beast: *cracking up* poor little beastlet, traumatized for life! its the dogs again. im seeing a trend develop.
p&t: chaste sisterly smooches!!!!yay!! the cunts are back, the cunts are back! get out the cherry douche!
arabella: you , my darling, are going to get your wishes. I was just looking into the 'Stunners' the other day and thinking about how cheap and telling rosetti's vision of jane morris was.
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ReplyDeleteVery nice site! »
ReplyDelete