Thursday, July 20, 2006

ramblin ramblin ramblin

Well, some dumb slut brought her kid in sick to daycare, so now the Goonybird has chickenpox.
How in hell do you miss chicken pox? Now, really? Other things, yes. Your kid covered in red spots; see, that I have a problem believing. I think she damn well knew; she just dumped the kid off and split. Luckily the 'Bird was innoculated so he probably won't have a very severe case, but it's noticeable enough so that he can't go back to daycare until he looks presentable; meaning that I will be watching him today and tomorrow. Not a bad gig, considering it means I take my leisure by the lake in a charming neiborhood, watching my polkadotty grandson toddle around the yard shouting 'Don't touch! No no! Don't touch!' at the landscape plantings.
What it also means is that I'm not at my own computer so I don't have access to my secret policemans other files filled with demented shit and so I can't work on the Preraphaelites like ah said I would (with a bag full of lead shot and a mallet).

I went to the doctors last week, complaining that I was sick too often and sleeping too much, and the upshot of the whole thing was I ended up giving six vials of blood and being told that I may be suffereing from a. heavy metals exposure (ZEP RAWKS DUDE! FUCKIN NINE INCH NAILS! RIGHTEOUS! 666!) or b. mature onset diabetes. Using the word' mature' advisedly in my case. And reacting predictably, as a mature adult, I have decided to refuse to call the office for the results and instead load up on burritos like a goddamn tanker taking on heroin at a turkish port of call.

What in hell am I going to do if I am deprived of burritos? No, I mean it. Refries, chiles, mexican food in general; thats what I eat. You eat a sandwich and go out and work in the yard, and one hour later you're back in the house scavenging around in the 'fridge again. You eat a plate of burritos early on and you're good to go for the rest of the damn day, barring frequent rehydration courtesy of the Miller Brewing Co.
See, but what I really AM doing is spending all day in front of the computer chowing down on red hot beef-n-beaners, dipping them right into the jar of hot sauce like the Queen of fricken' England. I should just skip the whole digesting part and glue them right to my ass.

I need more tattoos. Speaking of beer and chili. No, I really do. My yummy biker has a full left sleeve of magnificent work. The artist laid in on freehand with a brush-no template, just following the grain of the skin and the muscles...glorious stuff. Gracious...getting a little warm in here. Huh. Anyway, I feel kinda pale and plain. I want more blackwork. Not tribal and certainly not celtic. I already have one small kanji on my shoulder that looked pretty good twenty years ago but now just looks like a seagull crapped on me. Before my last operation I got a pachuco on my left hand. There is a lot of acreage left to cover. I'm thinking foreign lettering and/or pure design...I'm not one for pictures. I'm the main attraction. Besides, I dont want to be lying in my bed at the nursing home thirty years from now, eating mashed banana and pissing through a tube with a tattoo of fucking Tweety Bird on my tit. You know? Or maybe a little guy with a lawnmower buzzing my snatch. Yeah, that'd be classy.
I have a picture of an indonesian guy with what looks like a continuous prayer circling his entire body..I couldn't tell you the name of the script; only that it depends from a single line and has lots of diacritical marks. Anyway, I don't want to go that extreme, but I like the look of the ornamental calligraphy; and that the words have meaning and the whole combination comprises a third level of design. Ideas? Pictures?

I've taken three separate harvests off my blueberry bushes this year, and theres still a few left for the robins. That comes out to four nice big blueberry pies! They're pretty tasty too. I chose commercial early croppers, but I don't keep them flooded the way the growers do, so the berry is smaller, but the taste is concentrated. Kind of the same principle as lowbush wild blueberries. Up on Mt. Baker right now the lowbush harvest is going on; good fucking luck. Between the people with the cranberry rakes and the sneaky robins in their hundreds you're lucky to find a couple on the ground.
One year the Stainless Steel Amazon and I did a 'bay to Baker' dinner for the Yummy Biker. We went up to Baker and filled a hat full of tiny blueberries (which took about 2 hours), then drove down to Chuckanut Bay and dug scallops and clams, which are so abundant in places that you can toe them out of the sand. We made chowder for dinner that was so nice it had clams just climbing over the sides of the bowls. Blueberry muffins for dessert, and a great day out.


  1. Yay I am FIRST....
    When we were kids we(me and my tw brothers) were sent to play with any child with the lurgy so that we would get it all over and done with at once.
    I want a big tat of 7 of 9 on my lower back using my but cheeks as here breasts....that will frighten the blighters in the gym showers!!!!
    Awwww late onset diabetes (notice I avoided the mature bit makes you sound like an old cheese)....I hope its not that , does heavy metal poisoning have any thing to do with watching the Osbournes ???

  2. I think you should have Beast's face tattooed onto you.

  3. "bay to baker" dinner. brilliant! will you be my mother?

    tatoos: think about the virtue or value that is the most important to you, find a culture that shares that value, and write the word in that culture's language. like "hospitality" in arabic. or something. just a thought.

  4. How about "I love cock"
    That's pretty much universal.

  5. Yeah, it is "in" these days for mothers to get together and have chicken pox parties so that their kids can go through it at an early age and get it over with... hope he gets better soon! The itching is a real bitch!

    If I get started on health stuff I won't stop (comes with being married to an acupuncturist/doctor of Oriental Medicine you see) so I am biting my tongue and hoping the test results come out great!

    Oooh! Another tattoo? Pray do tell what you end up getting!

  6. I would love a tattoo, but am too indecisive to figure out what exactly I want. shameful, what I am.

    And oh, the's to a quick road to being spot free with as few itches as possible.

  7. beast: yeah, i remember doing that too; all the mommies would run around going 'mine has chicken pox, you want to send yours over so he can get it too?' and then you'd say 'no, thanks, we've already had it' and feel really wierd about that exchange for the rest of the day.
    mj: i'm a married woman, mj, please. one ass is enough.
    oh, ha is laugh!
    is so for humor me! ha!
    cb: thats a damn good idea, shiksa!
    mj: redundant, tho.
    mizB: so far he's doing good! just kinda colorful. easy gig i got here!
    christine: i chose mine to comemorate important positive things in my life. the seagull splat was for finishing therapy and the pachuko was for having the sense to marry a good man.

  8. Have you got many old amalgam tooth fillings? Your tiredness could be that - they slow drip-feed lead into your body until one day it all builds up and gets to much for your body to process. Hence you get poisoned and tired....Good luck - don't hide from the results - you sound more than woman enough to deal with it and I really hope it won't be anything bad xx

  9. my first kid got chicken pox the day before my second kid was born. yeah, that was great. he only had, like, 6 pox, so he got over it really fast... kid number 2 wasn't so lucky, he got sick and was covered... COVERED and sick as hell for 2 weeks. then my husband got them. and he was covered...COVERED and sick as hell for 2 weeks. don't think THAT wasn't fun.

    as for tattoos? lovelovelove 'em got my first (on my boob) one when i was around 22 (back when "nice" girls didn't do such things)... and another on my ankle a few years ago when i took my son to get one (it was a mother/son tattoo bonding trip, and it was very cool). like you, *both* tattoos represented milestones in my life, so, you know... tattoos are neato. xoxo

  10. Poor spotty goonybird :(
    Mind you don't get shingles.

    And yes, I agree with the RockMom -don't put yourself at risk. Why not call for results when your man is around?

    How clever of you to know about the burrito link to the decline of the house of Windsor (Saxe-Coburg).
    Recent research has demonstrated that the hemophilia was a cunning cover.

    You'll be pleased to hear that I know bugger all about tattoos.

  11. Sorry to hear about the goonybird - but better to get it over with now. I didn't have it when I was a kid - even though my brother got it really badly! (twice - and yes I know once is supposed to immunise you but he was always awkward like that)

    The idea of late onset diabetes is scary. I'm desperately trying to avoid it as it's on both sides of my family. I know you can control it by diet but no more sugar ever would take all the fun out of life! Fingers and toes crossed that its not that but get the test results please because if it is then not doing anything about it is NOT GOOD!

    Rockmothers suggestion re the fillings is a good one though and could explain the sleepiness. It could also be a vitamin/mineral deficency. Try a good supplement. Theres a company called Higher Nature on the web that does the best ones I've found. You can also phone or email them with your symptoms and they'll suggest supplements to take. I think that its a lack of magnesium that makes you sleepy but could be wrong(I'm sure theres someone in the comments who knows for sure though!)

    Tattoos. I've always wanted one but could never decide which. Why don't you design your own script and use that?

  12. Mexican food - love it but doesn't love me - gas, indigestion, etc. No wonder you feel sluggish after eating a plate of burritos, always feels like ive a housebrick in my stomach afterwards. Must go to the docs myself but keep putting it off, stiff upper lip etc.

    Tats - choose something timeless. I've always been too indecisive to get any more.

  13. That kid was innoculated and STILL came down with chicken pox? Geesh. What's the point of that?

    Me, I'm looking for a way to cover up my airline tattoo. It says, "Safety is our #1 priority!" Good luck with that, huh?

  14. Neva's husband here...yep the pox when I was in my late 20's...not fun, not one bit.

  15. My younger brother had chickenpox and it looked like fun (he didnt get it very bad) and so I wanted it. I got it. Bad. I was very ill.

    You have to be careful what you wish for.

  16. Co Enzyme Q10 is excellent for replacing lost energy, recovery et al. Magnesium and Zinc are also good immune boosters. Unfortunately, those with Hispanic or Native American ancestry are also genetically predisposed to diabetes - but let's hope not in your case. Crossing all my fingers and toes.

  17. No Shit Sherlock3:33 PM

    Maybe a cowboy wrapped round a burrito to go with the Indian on the other arm?
    Tell the Gooneybird to get better soon. I never had them. Me Idiot Sisters got it. At the same time. I didn't.

    Good luck with the results. My Grandad has diabetes and he get's on fiiine...

  18. You must have called for those results by now, if not why hasn't that doctor called you?! Doctors! Anyway, take good care of yourself cause you need to be there for the goonybird. Hope he's poxless soon. And listen you had your burritos - load up over the weekend and get in touch with the doc first thing Monday.

    Tattoos - never got now never will. Another of those Jewish laws I live by - sort of return the body in the condition it was lent you in :)

    I never did get chicken pox although a vision comes to me of my sister cornering me in the upstais hallway with her pj top up trying to scare me with her pox. I think I owe her an ass kicking, I'll be back.

  19. FN: I too have had to deal with some sobering health shit in these last months, so you've got company...and it sucks, but call for the results anyway.
    I am also also considering more tatooing. There are some great books out there on symbols, alphabets, etc. I know of a guy who was a philosophy student and had his favorite quotes tatooed on him, all in their original language and each in a different typography. Very illustrated manish. I'm thinking of posting a request for tatoo stories on my blog...would you indulge me with some of your ditties if I did?
    Hope you are feeling well today.

  20. definitely better to get the chickenpox over and done with now, especially for a boy.

    I wouldn't have thought that burritos are bad for diabetes - plenty of slow release goodness in refried beans, meat and cheese.

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