Thursday, November 09, 2006

yoost a qvikie

Aha! Access at last!
Blogger has been its usual self lately and that is why I haven't been visiting around like usual. No, I am not floating around on a sheet of plywood inside the K-mart, in other words.
We continue un-flooded.

Skagit County, as per usual, is completely tits deep. The cows are swimming right alonside the salmon and they're both hitting the road, if you'll notice. Governor Christine Gregoire says 'Give it up, people! Move! Move, for the love of God! You flood out every year! You've flooded out every year since 1885! Get the message! Earth calling Skagit county! Are you deef? We're sick of spending half the state's budget every fucking year rescuing the same people off the roof! WAKE UP! You live on alluvial fan! Half the fricken county is reclaimed salt marsh! "
You know things are getting bad when the only voice of reason is that of a politician.

Parts of Snohomish and King are using their efforts to gather up animals two by two to free those being held for 'recreational' purposes in Enumclaw and Stanwood.

We have...from what I can see, we have a small puddle in the cornfield across the street. The 'river' never even crested.

I attribute this to France.

The French have obviously been eyeing our precipitational resources with a greedy eye for some time and have coerced the World Bank into redeploying their weather satellites into an altered array, brandishing slabs of unrefrigerated whole foi gras as a threat. The rain which should have been falling onto the heads of the wicked here in Sumas has instead been falling into a field outide of Nimes, where the citizenry have set out Tupperware containers to catch the vital resource.
Never underestimate the power of liver.


  1. Yes, France. Of course.
    Makes perfect sense. Foi Gras. MmHmm.

    Apparently being off the interwebs has given you time to think about this.

  2. Damn the filthy french.....what do you expect from a nation that only washes below the waist.
    On the foi gras front, I did suspect for a while that my little old mother was force feeding me in the hope that a massivly over large liver would ensue and explode.... , then she could dish me bits up with a bit of toast , and impress all her mates.
    Ideed you cant underestimate the power of liver and wiley old ladies.

  3. claire: 'too much spare time + an overactive imagination' kind of describes the whole FN ouevre. but still, makes sense. mull it over.
    beast: it's only time to worry when you wake up inside a clever wicker basket with your feet nailed to the kitchen floor and a broke-off broom handle standing nearby. 'Time for lovely grain mashies, Beast, open wide, now, num num nummers!'

  4. Zut, Alors! Oui've been uncovered!

    Is there anything sadder than a guy who can't even do a decent accent in type?

  5. We have all the rain down south that you're lacking. Trust me on this one.

  6. They've got a wine lake tho you know, so do they really need your water?
    Foie Gras so tasty but I feel sorry for the geese.

  7. Anonymous7:33 AM

    Raining wine would be better than foie gras, could get messy and sludge up your river beds with cholesterol.

  8. Never - I needed it for a severe iron deficiency a couple of years ago. Sure, all about me. I haven't been around and blah blah blah. Actually I haven't been visiting around much and now I see why. That's right, couldn't get through the floods. But I made about an email I've been meaning to send.

    Have a great weekend~hope all is well.

  9. everyone: it's been strange lately. you will see why in my next post. until then, I am going to rest, recuperate and
    aw fuck it, ill do a post.

  10. So where is your Arky Arky?
    What a drag. Why doesn't Gov.Gregoire build a Hydro Electric Power Station to harness the floods...
    A. you have to relocate everybody and flood the backwater area
    B. the State can make up all of the dough that they have 'wasted' on that godforsaken area since 1885!
    The French kvetch about everything..(le plus ca change)..
    their whining goes through my ears like foi gras through a goose.

  11. woah um what a week. Too confused for words.