Because she VVV
She grew up there. She ate dinner there, went to school there, started menstruating there, learned to read there, ate a bunch of pussy there, has family there, met my cousin VVV
there, got married there and had a kid there.
The entire city of New York is irrevocably doomed. Flakes of her dna have met and merged with the lung tissue of thousands of unfortunate New Yorkers over the years where it is even now mutating into an evil mind controlling carcinoid.
Eventually this carcinoid will assimilate its' host and thousand of whining, pself-important bullies with glistening assholes in the middle of their foreheads and superflous body hair will march forth, four abreast, past the Port Authority building for ever and ever, declaiming to the skies 'our babysitter was a man! and black! and gay!"
Why did fate see fit to give this horrible, horrible woman an expensive education? Why did it see fit to endow her with money in her latter years? Money she used to further her self-serving projects in the name of local liberalism and thus render riduculous the reputation of liberals locally merely by association?
Why did fate see fit to make her just social and just plausible enough to garner the ill-informed respect of other persons with money and educations? Persons who live in the same town as me?
Why has this vile, vile woman attached herself to me like a lamprey?
I will tell you why!
She is a birth order victim! She is a typical Oldest Sister Displaced by a Younger Sibling in a Dysfunctional Family Environment who never outgrew it! She is Jafar! The scheming and conniving, jealous, plotting grand vizier of an imaginary realm where she is supposed to be the rightful ruler because shes' better than YOU are! She is the nasty little girl at her sisters' birthday party throwing a tantrum because none of the presents are for her, and if she can't have them then SHE'S GOING TO SPOIL EVERYONES PARTY SO HA HA HA!
The single event that will crown this womans' existance will be to to meet up with me by chance with her husband at her side and grandly inform me that MY FATHER DIED here, in town, and I NEVER ONCE CAME TO SEE HIM and that THEY GOT EVERYTHING and I GOT NOTHING and MY FATHER DIED CALLING OUT MY NAME (Johnny Walker, apparently) and HE NEVER GOT TO SEE HIS GRANDDAUGHTER OR HIS GREAT-GRANDSON BECAUSE OF ME and that THERE NEVER WAS ANY PROBLEMS IN MY FAMILY AT ALL IT WAS ALL ONE BIG MISTUNDERSTANDING...
The thing is, she doesn't believe that.
None of it.
Neither of them do.
They both know that they were lied to consistantly and with poor or more often no reason -or even continuity of plot, for Gods' sake. They weren't exempt from the games, the lies or the sickness. Oh HELL no.
But it seems like knowing that I am out here with this wound is drawing them to me like flies to sugar. Emily in particular. She has to play the hyenas' role and if it's the last thing she does, it will happen. She needs to be the playground bully. She needs to make me be a victim.
This freaks me out.
I cannot begin to tell you now much this freaks me out.
Someone has me targeted for a very specific and most likely public form of humiliation and pain.
Based on no facts. Only because the opportunity is there to push the knife in.
She will. She'll use a very intimate and painful and private thing from my life to skewer me with. It's all planned out and only the opportunity needs to arise.
I know this sounds paranoid. It is not. It genuinely describes two people from a family of similar people. A group of folks from whom I completely severed all contact more than twenty years ago.
Except apparently that won't do. I was absolutely nothing whatsover to them back in the day, except an object of contempt, but now that I'm removed from their circle I seem to have some kind of newfound, icky allure they find irresistable.
Does anyone know what I mean? How do you put something like this to rest? How do you end it? In my case, divorcing myself, cutting off all forms of contact, that wasn't enough. They followed my daughter around and harrassed her. They even coached their own son to follow her around and demand our phone number and address. Really!
What makes this really creepy and sick is that my phone number is listed. My address is too. It always has been.
It was harrassment. Subtle, sneaky, harrassment aimed at me, using my daughter as a dupe, who thinks I am an absolute paranoid loon for even thinking such a thing. You see how this works?
My daughter has no goddamn clue how this shit plays.
I was used in the exact same way when I was a kid. I know these moves. Oh, yes indeed. Children are nothing to these people. There are many, many good reasons I have no contact with them. They belong to what I can only describe as a tiny little family subculture of child abuse, alcoholism, battery and sexual crimes.
Oh, but they look so good.
You bet I'm still very wary.
You bet I'm still scared.
The price of freedom really is perpetual vigilance. And being thought of as a total paranoid loon.
It's like trying to leave the fricken' Mob.
So in other words, yes: I was published last week, a month early, in the Betty Pages.
Under my real meatspace name.
And I am trippin my tits off.
All for you!