A BRAND NEW LIVING ROOM SET.
This will be the first time in my life that I have had a matching suite of living room furniture
THAT I LIKE.
That is BRAND NEW.
That I PICKED OUT.
From a REAL, UPMARKET FURNITURE STORE.
Not a discount house, a resale store, a garage sale, a storage unit or off the back of a truck.
It has take me 26 years to have grown-up furniture that I can stand looking at.
...except without the chrome, and without the coffee table but WITH a matching ottoman.
OH HELL YES.
Remember my old furniture?
..I won't even show you a picture of the whole monstrous thing. It's too awful.
What can I say? We needed a set and this was quality stuff, Ethan Allen in fact. We we got it for 200$ the set, too. Knowing full well that it is so very, very horrible. I mean, the HORROR. It got to the point this last two years that I would look at it, and it would look back at me, and be country french, and white brocade with floral trophies, and we would hate each other with a vile and dire loathing.
Then it started to tear. All of it, all in the same week. Rip, rip, rip. So much for Ethan Allen lifetime quality upholstery! Patooie! I spit upon their so called quality which has the brain of a duck you know!
Then the Goonybird started picking the batting out of the cushions and feeding it to the dog pictured above, who is just tard enough to eat it. The evidence is still in my back yard, too. Little tufts of fibrefil here and there. You see the birds carrying it around.
Nature is disgusting.
Over the last year, between the spilled coffee and the peanut butter sandwiches the Biker and I just gave up all semblance of giving a rat's ass. It was open season on the furniture of horror. The furniture lost. Bigtime.
And now I get to enjoy the sight of it waiting sadly by the curb for someone to come by in the dead of the night and think they're really getting away with something and stealing it! Yee Haw! Fokkin' Ted Nooooogent, yo! Raaaawk! Bye bye ugly couch! Farewell loveseat of evil! And away it goes to grace the shag carpeted meth lab in the trailer park it always belonged in!