Thursday, June 14, 2007

UPDATED!!!!!!Can girls getr manflu? Because I think Frobisher gave me his.

voting is now closeded. but if you have come late to the show, the suggestion corner is still open. subjects so far are: FLUFFY KITTENS, RECIPES, WHY BIN MEN ARE ALL LAZY CUNTS, HOT TO MAKE A WALDORF SALAD, DUGONGS, THE TIME I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, and OLD KNUDSON-HIS STRUGGLE.
feel free to vote for one or add your own! it's fun and its easy! like me!

I am having a hard time figuring out what to write about. I have a number of ideas, but I am
a. blazed, and
b. running a fever due to having a bad lungal inflammation type summer cold...which in my asthmatic fuckin' case means another day, another NDE. So, it's over to you, kids...
You decide.

1. True Story about a retarded girl in a chicken wire cage

2. Story about weird feelings of wanting to return to a 1920's I never experienced

3. Paranoid rant/Story about how I believe there are certain types of mental disorder that have been inadvertently(ha!) selected for, and uneducated ruminations about economics and groups

4. Anything you can come up with, which means make a suggestion. In this case I will choose completely at random anything which tickles my fancy, although should my top coon Noshit Sherlock decide to make an appearance, she will get first consideration. Some of you lurkers need to come on out of the closet, yo.

5. Some shit about art

6. Some shit about why I hate the DaVinci Code with such a dark and fearsome loathing

7. Story about my garden

8. Previously withheld stories about the Meadows Family

And now, if you all will iscuze my stoned ass, I'm going to surf some boy-kissie-boy porn. Or maybe recipes.


  1. I vote for writing about .....

    Meh. Nevermind. I can't come up with anything.

  2. I would like to hear about the first one.

  3. I had a fascinating conversation with a pharmacy technician who is in school for her microbiology degree. We were discussing Autism and how they are finding that rather than it being shots laced with the mercury they believe it to actually be a secondary genetic inheritance from mothers who were taking lots of folic acid. Their kids were fine - but their grandkids are the ones who are missing peices of genetic code. It was interesting.

  4. All of the above please.

  5. I'd be interested in the return to the 1920's. It was when Mallory and Irvine vanished trying to climb Everest for the first time, which is one of the mysteries that has fascinated me for years now.

    SOmeone has already published a hypnotic reggression session in which he became Sandy Irvine, and gives his feelings of why they died. I can't say I find it credible, but that's the engineer part of my getting his fingers on the scepticism buttons.

  6. hendrix2:14 AM

    As everything you write is absolutely brilliant FN I have no preference. But I'd suggest that before you put pen to paper (so to speak) you concentrate on getting rid of the flu. Lots of whiskey usually helps.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  7. I vote for the DaVinci code rant. That sounds like fun.

  8. i'm sick and have a morbid fascination for messed up people (don't we all? exhibit a: the jerry springer show), so i want to hear about the retarted kid in the cage and MORE ABOUT THE MEADOWS FAMILY!!! they are seriously fucked up. whee bedtime stories!! tell us another one tell us another one! (i am at work and bored.)

  9. Oh! oh! Recipies and gardening please - and if you can work in the story about the girl in the chicken wire cage even better.

  10. I'm always one for hearing about your garden as it makes me remember the days when I had actual outdoor space and not a pot with impatiens and a hydrangea...

    But there are true stories about little girls in chicken wire cages and well that I cannot pass up.

  11. 1920s. Or any time traveller series.

    But will take whatever you dish out!

  12. I can't believe that another blogger spent their formative years in a chicken wire cage like I did?
    My Mom wanted to send me to an Institution but Dad said that we needed the eggs.

    ((bada boom bada bing))
    Thank You, I'm here all week!

  13. Chicken cage please.



    Flapper fantasies do it for me every time.

  14. Pam: yeah, me either!

    gale: It's Milwaukie gothic at it's very best, lemme tell ya...

    joann: I suspect you are spam, but on the off chance you are not, i will take this as a sideways vote for 3, and welcome you! but if you are spam, go soak your head.

    kellycat: eventually!

    sopwith: someday in the future the mountain will give them up and everyone will go 'oh. knew it.' they'll be put on exhibit like poor old Utzi, probably.

    hendrix: illegal pharmaceuticals and copius amounts of beer seem to have done the trick. I spent a large portion of last night keeping the local water table elevated via my kidneys, but thanks to Nye Labs I didn't resent it as much as I would have straight.

    alala: believe or not, that's going to be the most difficult one to write. up there with some of the family of origin stuff, in fact. but i'll get to it!

    cb: *snif* i expected more from a person of your educational background. all my preconcieved notions about you have been SHATTERED. (btw mr. egyptian weiner man sez 'hi!'whilst indicating true North at the same time!)

    frobi: you have just described my life. recipes, gardening, retarded kids in chickenwire cages....and btw thanks for the goddamn PLAGUE, ya vermin. what were YOU rolling in?

    christine: why is it that the more education one seems to have the more outspoken one is about their need to hear about retarded kids in chickenwire cages?

    mj: noted, sah! /I can barely wait for IDV modelling the Freakin Green Elf Shorts! although your star turn was unforgettable. wotta rack!!!

    homoE: you, sir, have established a new low here at Paul: Because 'Paul' is a Nice Name. and we salute you! well done!

    garfy: short, and to the point.

  15. Meadows! Meadows! Cos, like, I love having nightmares.

    Am I the only one who thinks the retarded girl in the chickenwire cage sounds horribly depressing? I did just see something on the news about some seriously fucked up Romanian orphanages though so maybe that's coloured my judgement.

    I would be interested in any stories you have regarding kittens. I like kittens. I need cheering up. Go on, or I'll be forced to blog about what questions not to ask sex offenders again.

  16. Anonymous2:58 PM

    Im going with the Da Vinci code - I hate Italians too!!

  17. NoShitSherlock4:52 PM

    *skulks out of the corner all covered in dust etc.*
    I'd like to hear about the Da Vinci Code or the Meadows please Aunty FN.
    *coughs out a spider and dust*
    And I perscribe rum. Lots of rum.
    The light burnssss my eyesessss...
    *skulks back to corner*

  18. Fluffy kittens with mittens for me too.
    Or anything you offer, hostess with the mostess.

  19. Fluffy kittens with mittens for me too.
    Or anything you offer, hostess with the mostess.

  20. Oh go on - one more time!

  21. "3. Paranoid rant/Story about how I believe there are certain types of mental disorder that have been inadvertently(ha!) selected for, and uneducated ruminations about economics and groups"

    This one, definitely, please. It's right up my alley.

  22. I want all of them , especially the chickenwire, recipes, da vinci rant , and nipple tweaking religious pictures with lots of flying bay heads

  23. thats was baby headsnot bay heads....becuase thats just stoopid

  24. I vote for "Why bin men are lazy cunts."

  25. Ooh, 2 & 3 please. If you can find some way of working them together so that we get some nostalgia for a fictional 1920's populated with large groups of people with various fun mental disorders, that would be super. The dialogue in particular should be a hoot!

  26. I don't think you have man-flu. if you did you would be wimpering on the sofa like a great big girl.

    I think you should write about Dan Brown / the Da Vinci code. It's about time someone said something horrid about him.

  27. Jungle Jane MAN FLU (to give the capitalisation it desrves) is a very serious condition , you girls cant imaginethe pain and suffering us boys have to go thru.
    I mean child birth is just like having a great big dump(after eating peanuts :-) )

  28. I think I love you.

  29. Anonymous3:18 PM

    Are you writing it now? Is it about Da Vince Code??

    Had you thought about writing about that time you encountered an alien??

  30. Stuff all that. Write about dugongs!


    - DN

  31. well i love your art shit, but i'm kind of curious about the #3 paranoid mental disorder rant. that and the girl in the wire cage. who doesn't love a good story about a girl in a wire cage? no one, that's who.

  32. Mallory and Irvine. What happened?

    1. Fell off something.
    2. Something fell on them.
    3. Abducted by aliens.
    4. Ran away together, from a world too immature to understand.

    My money's on 1 or 2.

  33. what I want to know is why you think joann is spam? what would be the point of spam like that? though I have to confess I don't really know what spam is except as part of a Monty Python sketch and I think it was reconstituted tinned dog or something. there isn't even a picture of her to give you a clue.

    also i would like to know why you didn't like the Da Vinci code, I am a great fan of the Meadows clan and I'd like to know how to make a wardolf salad.

    Thank you
    and hope you're feeling better - have a hot toddy and a hot biker - that should do the trick.

  34. Write about me, I'm sure that will be interesting, to me at least.

  35. Beastie dear, I am sure you are right. Lets test it out - I will pop a Cabbage Patch Doll up yer ass and feed you a few peanuts. If you can expel it in 25 minutes with no yelping (like your average man-dump) then i will retract my statement and apologise to all of mankind.

  36. Mudlark3:57 AM

    Da Vinci Code and the Meadows family please; improbable and infuriating and laughable you do sooooo well.

  37. Anonymous7:17 AM

    I have changed my mind to the art/shit idea- JJ has influenced me....

  38. Anonymous7:18 AM

    Gale said...

    I would like to hear about the first one.

    I think Gale did not read this post properly... and she is just guessing...

  39. Anonymous7:19 AM

    Allory and Irvine were gay and ran away to found a detective agency in New York... climb Mount Everest - rubbish!!

  40. I'd go with previously withheld stories about the Meadows family and second or some shit about the DaVinci Code. Or all of them - it's all good.

  41. everyone: ok, this is how it's gonna be!
    1. The Girl in the Chickenwire Cage
    2. The Davinci Code
    3. The Meadows
    4. The 1920's
    5. Mental Disorders Serve the State!
    6. My Lovely Garden
    7. Art Rant

    the following are from the suggestions corner......

    8. Fluffy Kittens (y'all are SICK)
    9. Recipes-frobi
    10. Why are Bin Men Lazy Cunts-eddie waring
    11. How to make a waldorf salad-ziggi
    12. Dugongs-danator
    13. Old Knudson-old knudson

    I bid a hearty 'welcome and howdy-hi!' to the new folks, and also a great big AZUZA! AZUZA! to all the lurkers who poked their heads up above the darkling waters to add their 2 bits!

    have you come in late? add a suggestion! or kiss my ass, or whatever...i don't care; i'm still running a fever. have a damn party and eat all the koolwip off the cake for all i care.

  42. ...woops, add 'The time I was abducted by aliens' to that suggestions list. thank you muttley!
    you see? the psychic block they implanted is still trying to operate!

  43. well, if you're taking all sorts of suggestions, maybe you could tell me about the great Gypsy Moth and the shitty ass caterpillars that are infesting my back yard.

    Also, i seem to have a rash on my arm. Are these things related? You decide.

  44. Not spam - just a lurker - you asked for them to come out - sorry.