Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Frobi and Ziggi wanted recipes, so here's recipes!

SANDWICH simple yet so delicious
developed in the test kitchens of Rancho FirstNations by the Yummy Biker

1 quart jar of Kosher Dill Pickles, minus all the pickles, juice retained. I don't care what you do with the pickles. Stick them in your ear, decorate the Christmas tree, teach the dog to fetch...

1 large Red Onion, sliced thinly into rings

1 head of garlic, crushed...more or less to taste

(1 dash red wine for color, optional)

-Put the onion and the garlic into the jar of pickle juice. Put the whole thing in the fridge overnight. The next day you will have an excellent accent for your hoagies and sub out the onion and pile it on to taste! This takes the place of get the vinaigrette flavor and the onion kick without making your sandwich all goopy!!

Ziggi wanted WALDORF SALAD...or, as it came to be known via an unfortunate spelling error, HOT TO MAKE WALDORF SALAD

I am sorry, I'm afraid we're all out of Waldorfs just now.

(apples, mayo, celery and broken walnut pieces served on a piece of lettuce.)


  1. Recipes duly noted, but DANG, FN! You have an awesome ear for speech rhythms! J Cleese would be laughng his sox off, as indeed am I (while knowing I'll never again be able to look at a bike stand without squirming slightly)

  2. Yep, the John Cleese thing was too funny. Excellent work.

    My Grandma always made Waldorf salad with chicken added.

  3. I am confused now....... i thought you wedged your front wheel into a bike stand???
    and whats a hoagy and a sub(missive) sandwich.
    Are you'all speaking in code

  4. What to do with the pickles: connect them to the electric mains, and turn them into light sources. Dangerous light sources, but light sources nonetheless.

  5. Oh,yes...ditto Mangonel.

  6. The Ritz salad is far superior.

    What's the difference between regular dill pickles and the kosher ones? Are the latter circumcised or something?

  7. While we're on the subject of salads, can somebody do something about Caesar salads?

    If you call something a Caesar salad, it does not have chicken. That is a chicken Caesar. It does not have bacon bits. That is, I dunno, a Caesar with bacon bits. A Caesar has romaine lettuce (aka Cos) and croutons, with a dressing containing olive oil, lemon juice, egg, parmesan, black pepper and anchovies or Worcester sauce. That is all.

    Thank you.

  8. This is all very well but could you now post a translation?!

    What are Kosher Dill Pickles?
    What's a hoagie?

    I'll skip the salad and be next in line for JC please, say 11.30?

  9. I know I'm a dreadful pedant, but it's Worcestershire Sauce, at least, as made by Messrs Lea & Perrins. I note that they have now taken to suggesting what I have long advocated, namely putting it on your chips, along with salt and mayonnaise.

    You can keep Waldorf salad - celery, ugh. The single most pointless (natural) food in the world. Anything that takes more calories to eat and shit than it contributes, and still tastes that bad, is just plain wrong.

    Fuck me, I've missed coming to FN's blog. The Quality, The Quality. Nearly as good as chips 'n' mayo 'n' Worcestershire Sauce!

  10. Chips, mayo and worcester sauce, now you're talking.

  11. Anonymous2:11 PM

    I shall try your sandwich onions Ms FN but only after I have eaten all the pickles... luckily I have no woman in my life to object to the breath... oh thats not so lucky is it??

  12. What to do with the pickles: cut 'em up and deep fry 'em in batter. Actually, that tends to be better with bread and butter pickles, but any excuse to ingest vast quantities of oil will do.

    [Edited because I originally typed "quantitties," which made me very happy and giggly for a good minute or two.]

  13. Would they taste just as nice if the pickles weren't Kosher? I don't want to discriminate against pickles on the grounds of religion, like...

  14. jj you are an inspiration to us all , a shining example of diversity in action.
    Now where is that dumb ass maid conchita , i need someone to chew my pistachio's for me....

  15. Anonymous6:10 AM

    I have too many lettuces in my garde - would you like me to post you one?

  16. The pickled onions sound delicious! When I make mexican I like to take a red onion that's been marinated in lime juice with a splash fresh orange juice and a minced jalapeno overnight and use it as a condiment.

  17. FN speak to us my proud young beauty , has Mr Mutleys 'lettuce' offer made you hide in the shed , I think they are real lettuces not a euphemism , if however he mentions his Curly for the hills

  18. Anonymous11:38 AM

    *writes down recipes for further research*