Saturday, September 15, 2007

Maizeine Chimp Monkey Caters Rigid Frame Buffet!

I'm in a hate-blog state of mind this morning. If I repress it, it'll only cause problems later. Lucky you!
__________________________

The following groups of people arouse the same feelings in me as do cockroaches-

-Furverts, furry fandom, anyone who identifies as a furry.
You are a puke.
figure a: puke

You do not have an 'animal spirit' living inside you. You have a pukey spirit living inside you. And possibly roundworms. You are sad, you are lame, you will not change and you will not procreate.
..especially not at this rate, bucko.

Why put the inevitable off any longer? Swallow arsenic. (It'll leave you in a remarkable state of preservation. Hey! Then maybe an elk or a lion with a HUMAN spirit in it could use YOU as an outfit!)
...donate your used dermis to: The United Scrotecat Clothing Fund

***********************

-Nazi collectors/enthusiasts

...apparently he felt the swastika tattooed next to his eye wasn't getting the message across strongly enough

You only collect this shit 'for historical interest', huh? And you really think anyone buys that, huh? Please.
You buy it, you masturbate over it, and you dream of using it on unwilling victims, too. I've never met a one of you that didn't have a vicious, creepy side to them, and in my subculture I've met a lot of you things.
...oh yeah. and barbies, too. no shit.

Got a Luger? Sure you do. Now open wide and pull the trigger. There! Your first pro-social act!

***************

-Hoarding disorder
This ones' an easy fix: gasoline and a match.

You accumulate more? More gasoline and another match.

Of course in a perfect world you'd be abandoned by one and all and left to rot away inside your disgusting shitheaps.

I was raised by one of you. Furthermore, I used to clean rental properties. I've picked up up after too many of you things to buy the 'it's purely a mental illness' excuse OR the 'I'm just a slob' excuse. Oh, it may look passive, but it's not. You've figured out how to turn inertia into motion and still look like the victim! An out-of-control obsession? No, a 'safe' way to express your seething hatred of everything around you.

(A note on the pictures used here: they came from the Squalor Survivors site, and were posted by a woman who actually dug herself out of the filth she had created. That's a good thing, right? Sure it is! Except for the part where they had to TEAR DOWN THE FUCKING HOUSE AFTER WHAT SHE'D DONE TO IT.)

28 comments:

  1. The Collyer Brothers: poster boys for squalor.

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  2. Well this has cheered me up , I dont feel so bad about leaving a bit of washing up in the sink (or is that the start of it :-( ).
    FN I see you got the picture of me modelling my Racist and swastika patch design...... does this mean I have to think again ???

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  3. We have a programme on TV over here called How Clean is your House where two bossy middle aged women go to some nominated slob with a team of industrial cleaners and tell them how to clean up. It's amazing the filth some people live in.

    Its also great for little cleaning tips. Did you know a tablespoon of meths in some water is the best way to clean windows? and just buff with newspaper for a streak-free finish.

    Stickers on funiture? rub with mayonaise! doesn't leave a mark.

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  4. note to all the creationists: was there ever better proof that we evolved from lower animals????

    people who live like that aren't fit to live in society.

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  5. frobi: by 'meths' do you mean methylated spirits? because i can't find a decent glass cleaner in this country. they all contain surfactants (soap) and leave streaks. i want an ammonia-based one like we have back in the states, but they don't seem to exist. (My Kindom for some Windex!)

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  6. btw, what was that wrinkly pink thing? is that the puppy of one of those hairless breeds of dog?

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  7. "scrotecat"...brilliant! If my scrote ever looked like that, I'd be rushing to the emergency room.

    Maybe you wouldn't be in a hate-bloggy mood if you didn't actively seek out such images? I thought girls looked at rainbows and butterfiles and unicorns or pictures of dreamy actors and pop stars?

    Thanks for not listing my real name in the squalor pics.

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  8. are you still upset over not having a hate-blog of your own?

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  9. Yes, more rainbows and butterflies please. Or Harleys and bars, whatever.

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  10. mj: my mom, of all people, used to talk about that case! also another one , the D'Amato brothers? could be the same thing. thank god it wasn't nearly that bad. when i lived there, anyway. no telling what it ended up like.

    beast: you live in europe and you mean to tell me you can't find anyone who can do gothic lettering better than that? puhLEEZE. (peace sign? biohazard? groovy mandala? hatchet man? pot leaf? come on, you KNOW you want a big ol' pot leaf on your ass. you totally do.)

    frobi: we have a couple like that too...one's an organization show and the other is a 'flip this house' show. i can't watch either one of them because it pisses me off so bad! i've joined a couple of online groups dealing with it-hoarding and growing up in a hoarding home.
    meth for cleaning? cant smell any worse than ammonia, i guess :)

    cb: methamphetamine. probably cheaper and substantially more legal to use 1 qt. water, 2 tbls vinnegar and 2 tsp Dawn dishwashing liquid mixed in a spray bottle . smell better, too. P.S -Sphinx breed hairless cat, newborn kitten.
    poor thing needs a sweater.

    'shot: be careful what you wish for, modigliani-boy.

    pink: i'm trying to work my way through the feelings, here. *snif*

    joe: aaaaaaaand that's a second plea from the boy's side of the sockhop for ducklings and care bears.
    this is getting INTERESTING.

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  11. I feel better about my house now, thank you.

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  12. FN,

    Remember - relax, focus and take deep breaths!
    I'm with you 100 per cent on filth trolls. Sadly, keeping the place clean is a bit of a mania with me and that is not healthy, particularly for someone with four dogs!
    As to the Nazi-symbolism-is-cool-man wankers, if they say they are interested in history why not get them to read about Charles I or Anne Boleyn and then, by their own logic, they will cut their heads off.
    Think happy thoughts, chuck.........but a snarl-a-day keeps the cardiac team away.

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  13. I recognise the house in the hoarding disorder pics!

    It's MJ's place, isn't it?

    Do I win a prize?

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  14. *pushes Piggy face-down into the loo and flushes*

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  15. do you prefer a furry scrote then?
    ;0p

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  16. THat's it - let it all out! And while we're at it, if you're driving too slow - get outta the left lane f*&#er! Okay, that doesn't really qualify under the guidlines of this post but I'm trying to get in touch with those feelings.

    Thanks.

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  17. Not really to do with this crap...but get yourself some corydalis flexuosa
    it is guaranteed to soothe you.
    (Betcha everyone else goes rushing to the chemist!tee hee!)

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  18. Ya know, back in the day, when I would play an errand girl for my dad at his office, he'd sometimes send me on a trip to the office supply store. ON the way, there was this old dilapidated house. One day, I got up the nerve to go in, after all, I was a curious 7th grader who was not frightened...okay, maybe a little. But damn it, iffin that picture of the bathroom doesn't bring back memories of that house.

    OI am almost certain it was a crack house. And just so happened, it was right across the street from the pharmacist.

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  19. Pharmacists sell crack? Dayum! I've been driving into the city to get mine. Who knew I could use the Walgreen's Drive-Thru?

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  20. tomorrow is another day, sugar!

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  21. gale: you're welcome. the starlings living in my attic don't even shit in their own nest. everywhere else, yeah.

    reg: *clicks on icon, notes full-on fulminating anti-thatcher rant is still in progress, clicks back*

    p&t: 1. yay! p&t! 2. canada wouldn't put up with crap like that.

    mj: see? she flushes.

    pod: as a matter of fact, yes!

    ziggi: which part? *looks around in confusion*

    g: this is where a civillian issue car-mounted antitank laser would come in handy.

    dinamow: i GROW corydalis flexuosa 'Blue Panda'! you mean it's medicinal???

    awaiting: brave little kid. i know, it looks exactly like a crackhouse, doesn't it? shit growing up the walls and everything? somebody was LIVING in that. USING that bathroom.

    'shot: hell, i live in a former meth house. they used to make it in the shed in my back yard. yup.

    savannah: i hear the 'Tara' theme rising in the background....*takes drapes down, makes a ball gown*

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  22. twas an ironic lovely, as in not

    - I only have time for 1 word comments these days, my life is catching me up!

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  23. Such a shame about Racist Boy - He's got lovely eyes.

    * knickers. I must be desperate *

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  24. fn - beast does indeed need a tattoo of a pot leaf on his ass. right next to the tattoos that say "i love pink drama and i love first nations. i'm totally their bitch."

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  25. ziggi: oh. well fine. *drooooooool....*

    InexPlicaboy: eyes by Heroin. if there's any justice in the world, the next time he goes down the warden ties a yellow hankie around his leg and draws a pair of tits on his back before he turns him loose in genPop.

    pink: I'se doing him a patch for his raggy old army shorts so his hine don't freeze. I tried to talk him into '13PINK69'. we also discussed 'MIxVIDAxLOCA' and 'THUG4LIFE'

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  26. Re: the corydalis. I really meant that just looking and inhaling would be good.The "plantologists" say no known medicinal use, but I know a hippie wannabe who reckons the scent gets him going.

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  27. The Nazis did have cool looking uniforms and I thought the Swastika was a symbol of peace. I also thought that 18 and 88 were the ways that Neo-Nazis learned the alphabet.

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