Tuesday, November 20, 2007
NSFW: Clara Peller, to the lost and found....Clara Peller...
For your delectation:
1. Vin Diesel. As long as he isn't trying to, say, act, or speak, or do much of anything except stand around and look hot.
Oh HELL yeah.
Yes I know he owns mean dogs. This isn't about dog ownership. This is about OBJECTIFYING MALE SEXUALITY. Like this:
Yes indeedy. Now this, my friends, is how dirty boys get clean.
2. Time has not dimmed his glory, nor age his lickability...I give you the long tall daddy of nerd heat: JOHN CLEESE. Because when you have a Johnson the size of Maine you can wear whatever the hell you want to. Oh yes.
I mean just look at the thing... He had to train it to walk alongside him so he can go out in public for chrissakes.
3. Michael Jordan. So much hotter now that he doesn't have to play sports and can just roam around in his underwear looking GOOD. Nobody looks as good as Michael Jordan does when he looks good. In fact, lets do that again:
Yeah, honey. Smoke that cigar.
4. Ben Cohen. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeen Coooooooooooooooooohen.
5. Lenny Kravitz. Back then in them dear dred days.
Now look at that face. Or try to anyway. Same cute smile, same features, right?
OK, This isn't Lenny, but for the purposes of this post we are all going to pretend that it is Lenny. Right? It's Lenny, right? Looks like Lenny to me. Sure it does.
....Were you wondering where Mr. Depp was?
Well, see, to my way of figuring, Mr. Depp really doesn't belong on this list. Sure, stick some eyeliner on the guy and he's ok...
...still, THIS is what you wake up next to.
Whats up with his ass? What? What? What happened to Johnny Depps butt? Does he know that thing's been following him around? Come on here. That is not a butt.
...THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is a butt.
And the rest of this post is over at UJ.