Tuesday, November 20, 2007

NSFW: Clara Peller, to the lost and found....Clara Peller...

For your delectation:

1. Vin Diesel. As long as he isn't trying to, say, act, or speak, or do much of anything except stand around and look hot.

Oh HELL yeah.

Yes I know he owns mean dogs. This isn't about dog ownership. This is about OBJECTIFYING MALE SEXUALITY. Like this:

Yes indeedy. Now this, my friends, is how dirty boys get clean.

2. Time has not dimmed his glory, nor age his lickability...I give you the long tall daddy of nerd heat: JOHN CLEESE. Because when you have a Johnson the size of Maine you can wear whatever the hell you want to. Oh yes.

I mean just look at the thing... He had to train it to walk alongside him so he can go out in public for chrissakes.

3. Michael Jordan. So much hotter now that he doesn't have to play sports and can just roam around in his underwear looking GOOD. Nobody looks as good as Michael Jordan does when he looks good. In fact, lets do that again:

Yeah, honey. Smoke that cigar.

4. Ben Cohen. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeen Coooooooooooooooooohen.

5. Lenny Kravitz. Back then in them dear dred days.

Now look at that face. Or try to anyway. Same cute smile, same features, right?

OK, This isn't Lenny, but for the purposes of this post we are all going to pretend that it is Lenny. Right? It's Lenny, right? Looks like Lenny to me. Sure it does.

Yeah, crap.

....Were you wondering where Mr. Depp was?
Well, see, to my way of figuring, Mr. Depp really doesn't belong on this list. Sure, stick some eyeliner on the guy and he's ok...

...still, THIS is what you wake up next to.

Whats up with his ass? What? What? What happened to Johnny Depps butt? Does he know that thing's been following him around? Come on here. That is not a butt.

...THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is a butt.

And the rest of this post is over at UJ.


  1. ODD... i suppose its warrented though... i did open this up at work... hahahahahaaaaa.... good on you to show some turkey love so close to our national day of thievery. hope you have a good one!

  2. voices: hey, you were warned. and i'm sure mr. depp has some kind of a dreaded eating disorder that makes him look turkeylike; it probably isn't his fault.

  3. I'll make a deal with ya. I take Cohen and Jordan, and you can keep the rest. Fair?

  4. Doesn't do a thing for me other than make me wish that I was a handsome bald 6'9" black millionaire athlete.

  5. i agree and am wet to prove it...however...i liked it when mike played ball...i used to go see him in chicago and there was nothing like seeing that man sweat and palm a basketball...oh the dreams...

  6. AH, i thought he was the best of the bunch...

  7. I have nothing of merit to add to this. If anyone needs me, I'll be wrapping gifts and feeling inferior.

    Oh, and despite what the current generation things, M-Jeff was and remains the greatest basketball player of all time. Kobe can suck my metaphorical balls.

  8. just lovely, thank you :)

  9. I like Vin too (but you can keeo the rest), but as you say, only for looking at.

  10. hendrix1:01 PM

    Oh dear...theres obviously something wrong with me cos none of them do anything for me. I did quite like Johnny Depp but as you said - he only really ever looks good when he's wearing eyeliner...

  11. I dont understand this Johny Depp thing...... but then I am not a girl , he always looks like he needs a good meal, a few days sleep and a bath.
    Now you in Deisel , a fine healthy fit looking fella , you can ietehr want to shag the man or be like the man .....works both ways

  12. perhaps it is the bath thing beast ;)...i've always loved bathing a man...very sensual...dammit FN this blog posting has me all hot and bothered!

  13. Right then. I'll slap some eyeliner on Depp and take his booty as mine while you ravage Cleese and Frobi does Ben Cohen.

    I have pics of Johnny Depp in the bath if you're interested, Beast.

  14. CB: You got a deal.

    ...Come on now. SOMEONE has to take Depp. aw shit, now he's crying. someone? please?

    homoE: I dunno...a little eyeliner, maybe a piercing...?

    daisy: oh good gravy marie woman! gracious! my my!

    voices: you have good taste for a straight guy, voices.

    rimshot: I can state conclusively- and we have the image to prove this thing, remember...YOU HAVE A NICER ASS THAN JOHNNY DEPP.
    meanwhile roundball is lost on me. i just wait for something to fall out the shorts, yo.

    ziggi: look away! look AWAY! you're MARRIED NOW HUSSY!

    spinny: I know, too much hair, too much beef. you like the scrawny veiny sapsuckers. you see how nicely that works out, though? we would never compete.

    hendrix: ok then, post your own, chickie. oh wait....

    beast: be careful what you wish for, though...not the brightest crayon in the box, is Vin.

    daisy: crapsakes, don't you work in child services? is that steam rising from your cubicle? take a shower! :)

    mj: I saw that one. the ring is sexier. he always looks like he just got in trouble for peeing on the carpet or something. whats he got to be so grumpypants about, tell me that?

  15. Oh Hunny!!!!!

    WHY WHY WHY WHY would you post such delightful specimens of pant-worthy males on the very day my husband goes out of town.......who will I get to throw the bucket of cold water over me......or throw me on the bed....either would do.

    There are many MANY reasons I like you petal and love your blog.....they are all very intelligent reasons, sound, logical and adult reasons......but ummmm.....I have to say.......

    Fuck those reasons, I loves ya because you provides me with porn and a giggle....can't ask for better than that!

    ps Have you got the sketches yet hun?

  16. mmmmmmmmmm! yummy.

  17. I think you forgot someone.......

  18. yes i do FN...at least you can be happy knowing i am lusting over men and not child-looking men eh...and omg that vin pic in the shower...luscious...
    btw cubicles cannot hold daisy!

  19. FN if I had a choice
    1.smart and ugly

    2.Beuatiful but thick

    Number two everytime..... adding up and stuff is over rated .

  20. punkie: well there ya go. and I still think that's lenny kravitz. a somewhat chubbier, shaved lenny with different tattoos. re: pix; they should be there this afternoon, hopefully. gaaaaah!

    gale: magically babelicious!

    champ: oh no I didn't. you're over at UJ. you, my darling, are much too hot to appear in this venue. want an invite?

  21. woops..
    Daisy: go roll in the snow, lady!!!

    Beast: true, then again #1 probably has a better imagination. all that rather falls away in contemplation of Mr. Diesel washing away the cares of the day, though....

  22. I am offended by this blatant objectification of men as purely .... ah fuck it, never-mind.

  23. I'm totally inspired. Whew.

  24. Anonymous7:14 PM

    was there something after ben cohen? i'm sorry, i was lost in thought.

  25. but what happened to stories and pictures of sparrows and such? oh my innocent eyes!

  26. And this one is for you:


  27. well, aren't you just the best little procurer of yummy pictures? thanks FN. :-)