Thursday, November 29, 2007

Ok, enough of that.

You are all wonderful people. The imput really gave me something to think about. A lot of somethings, truth be told.

Now here is a picture of a bald cat eating furniture.

...Because nothing says 'Happy Holidays 'like a picture of a naked cat eating some furniture.

No wait. Ok.
Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like a pensive clown taking a dump.

It's a fact: Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like Cthulhu awakening from his death-sleep in seaweed garlanded R'lyeh. Really.

... Except maybe a bedside lamp shaped like a weiner dog.

...one of these things. You plug it in.

Or a Mi-Go brain cylinder.
Happy Holidays! It's a Mi-Go brain cylinder!

Obviously nothing says 'Happy Holidays like the first four gospels translated into Juggalo, of course...

........Oh, yes. It's REAL.

Who can deny that anything says 'Happy Holidays' quite as sincerely as checking your outlets to make sure that electricity isn't leaking out?

Nobody, that's who.

Admit it. Nothing says 'Happy Holidays" like a dead jesuit in a fez.

...particularly one being attacked by offstage ninjas throwing flaming shiriken.

Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like a picture of a cute baby who is nice.

...just as long as you don't piss it off

...because then it morphs into NINJA MAN BABY!

"HOOOOOOOWHAAA! EEEEEEEEYEEEOOOOWAAH! Die Jesuit die!"

...which you have to admit is better than if it morphed into, like, a pterodactyl


...except that it would be cool if it flew around and got in fights with other pterodactyls, and they were like 'HWAH! SMASH! HROAAAAAAAR!' and they crashed into a natural gas plant and it exploded and flames were shooting up everywhere and robots had to come put it out.

So, yeah. Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like any of that stuff.

Happy Holidays.

36 comments:

  1. First Four Gospels?

    Regards,

    The Pedantic Wonder

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  2. What holidays? I start work in a couple of hours. Why wasn't I informed?

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  3. 'shot: oh yes. OH YES. use the link. I dare ya.

    mj: holidays for the DESERVING.

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  4. Holidays??? Holidays???

    Yeah I wish.

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  5. Oh, how you crack me the hell up.

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  6. The cat was a tough act to follow but the babies did well - very well.

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  7. I agree nothing says happy holidays.... now I am ready to put up that tree. I was waiting for the official naked cat/furniture picture to motivate me. I want to know what pissed off that baby.

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  8. You obviously remember my affinity for Cthulhu and the impenetrable high commander Xenu.

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  9. Nothing says Happy Holidays like playing with the firplace and burning your hand on flaming wood.

    Happy holidays, FN! wOOOHOOOOO!

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  10. Now I have an Issue

    Happy Holidays.......BAH

    This is an americanism too far

    ITS FECKING CHRISTMAS

    ITS HAPPY FECKING CHRISTMAS

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    ***DANCES WITH INCREDULOUS RAGE****

    wether you celebrate a christian or secular one

    ITS HAPPY FECKING BUGGERING CHRISTMAS


    MMMMFFFTTGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!

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  11. Are you going anywhere nice for yer holidays then? a strange time to have holidays just before Christmas and all.

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  12. Are you on ANOTHER holiday?!

    (thought that cat was the Playboy at first glance!)

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  13. Ooooh ooooh Ninja Man Baby!
    No wait, I want the pterodactyls....
    Nope...the robots, yeah the robots...
    But then I wouldn't have Ninja Man Baby to frighten the bejeesus outta my son when he was being naughty...and hell, yes that would make me laugh...
    But then there's the bald kitty that chews up the furniture....I mean that's like a good, sound, planet saving furniture-disposal unit and a pet all rolled into one handy(if slightly freaky lookin') pet right there.

    Nah, think I'll stick with the Ninja Man Baby.....too good a way to keep Gozar in line!

    xxxxx

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  14. ...ok everyone, you keep her talking, I'll phone the psychiatric hospital!

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  15. Cthulhu yeah, go go go! (hutt hutt hutt one hundred and eighty!)

    They're justified,
    And they're ancient,
    And they drive a nice cream van.

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  16. foilwoman6:35 AM

    I haven't said it recently, but I have a big giant crush on your brain.

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  17. I haven't said this lately, but I will crush your big, giant brain.

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  18. The mention of hot big giant brain sex has calmed the Beast

    ****wanders off humming Je T'aime***

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  19. I think the clown taking a dump says it best.

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  20. Nothing says Happy Holidays like: A bald, naked, pensive, clown-faced Cthulhu shaped like a weiner dog checking his outlets.

    Happy Holidays!

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  21. Oh! Nobody does this like you. x

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  22. so is this your christmas wish list the? could probably hook you up with the squatting clown... but the brain machine? id have to have on of those before i could put it into the machine!!!

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  23. Wow. That was the best fucking Christmas card EVER. EVER!

    Calm down, Beast. Happy Holidays means "Have a good Christmas AND a good New Year's because I probably won't see you in the week between." Geddit? Two holidays in rapid succession. Happy both of them. That whole alternate meaning was never anything but a straw man set up by the fundies.

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  24. Hmph, not actually holiday in this neck of the woods.

    Still, holiday just before Xmas seems a bit excessive to me. 'Specially when it's pissing it down, I'd rather be at work. Almost.

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  25. FN,

    Something seriously weird is happening! I get a text alert on my mobile phone if someone comments on my Blog. Well, all day I've been getting texts alerting me to comments on your Blog.
    Any ideas what is going on?
    reg_pither@hotmail.com

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  26. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!! another text alert for reg pither.

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  27. okay sorry nations, that was too much fun. it put a smile on my face... sorry reg, um why do you get text alerts on yer phone anyways? are you a mobile blogger? i guess that would be cool. hmmm, fuck now i forgot what i was back here for...................
    oh i member, i looked at your juggythingy link and its true! its there! with new sermons from today! freaky...

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  28. you have way too much time, energy, and sarcasm on your hands. hilarious, as usual. so when are you and the yb going to dress up as mr. and mrs. claus and take pictures for us to mock and photoshop?

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  29. I want the dog lamp :)

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  30. billy: secret holidays. shhhh.

    christine: :)

    21: ninja babies trump naked cats? ok.

    gale: not being able to turn into a pterodactyl. hey, it pisses me off every day.

    WCSN: cthulhu rules, xenu drools.

    awa: geeze; use a tire iron, heLLO! or a pair of pliers. or your ex-husband.

    beast: except where it is
    Wan Por, Boun, Festivus, Long Night, Tet, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Hannukkah, O shogatsu, Victory Day or Shab-e Yaldaa. I can be cordial one day a year. if i feel like it. i guess.

    knudie: yes. Opies Butt Day is celebrated on December 1 and everyone in america burns an elderly scottish man at the stake.

    ziggi: the playboy is BEAUTIFUL like a roman emperor.

    punkie: the bald cat: herald of things to come, patron saint of reduce, reuse, recycle. amen. (still nothing on the international mails front. that doesn't necessarily mean anything, though. just slow mail.)

    reg: oh darling, this is NOTHING.

    sopwith: hell yeah!*shakes pompons, does splits, is hospitalized*

    cb: cathartic too.

    foilwoman: my brain wants to kiss you. pucker up.

    EVERYBODY ELSE: NOW THIS IS JUST GETTING SILLY. BEAST GET DOWN FROM THE BACK OF THE SOFA IT'S ONLY A MINOR RASH, WCSN QUIT TEASING BEAST, BE CAREFUL I JUST PAID TO HAVE THE CARPET CLEANED IN HERE, THOSE ARE ANTIQUES, PINK THE CURTAINS ARE NOT A TOGA, PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON ALALA, WE'VE ALL SEEN YOUR TATTOO. YES SPINSTERELLA HAS TOO. EVERYONE JUST STOP IMing REG IT IS NOT FUNNY OR CLEVER.
    -ah screw it. *starts slugging tequila from the neck of the bottle*

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  31. FN: Okay, my first pass from a brain. But I invited it, so that's fine. Also, since I am sadly lacking the holiday spirit due to . . . oh never mind, I've just linked to this specific fine holiday spirit post on my blog. If that's not okay, just say so (foilwoman at gmail etc.) and I'll delink.

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  32. Best pics ever!! Yer are a genius!

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