...you'll never really know whats possible around here until you ask Got a subject you've always wanted me to write about but have yet to see here? Well how do you know I haven't already? HIT THE GODDAMN ARCHIVES YOU LAZY
...I mean, REQUEST that sapsucker!! Remember: If you repress things like that they only cause all kinds of problems later anyway.
...people who do NOT make requests make baby jesus CRY.Would you like some suggestions? Because I can come up with suggestions, yo. Believe you me, there is nothing wrong whatsoever with my ability to come up with ideas for things to do on this blog, kats and kittens.
...bald pussy? check!!One idea I've had is, I've always wanted to do an interview with one of you. Or have one of you interview me. Another idea I've had is NO NO NO screw it now come on see, you thought you could trick me into doing this WHOLE THING for you like that. That won't work here. I'm on to you.
MAKE A REQUEST!!!
go on then - feed my ego. interview me....
ReplyDeleteWhy is that person boiling that baby? Surely s/he knows that the best way to eat baby is grilled...
ReplyDeleteI know! I request baby recipes!
You should definitely interview me. Also, you should give us another tour of your house. I remember the kitchen particularly fondly.
ReplyDeleteI second Z's suggestion of a house tour.
ReplyDeleteAnd I like it when you go on trips around town and photograph stuff like when you went to the GIANT grocery store and fondled the cabbages.
I want to know the sordid story of how you met up with yummy biker.
ReplyDeleteThis is as bad as my college sociology teacher requiring the class to tell us what grade we wanted and the parameters of how we would attain it. We were dumbfounded! Um, Can I have an A for basically participating in class? YOU GOT IT! Didn't even read the book. Yep another tour with pictures, please. Retro
ReplyDeleteSomething about beards.
ReplyDeleteI request you to write about anarcho-syndicalism, baroque, cheques, double-cross, elephants, fog, geysirs, hamsters, iglous, jodeling, kanapees, lone star, marmoles, nuts, opium, Pocahontas, "Q", rats, servants, thundestorms, unknownflyingobjects, verandas, xylophones, Yuletide, and Zampano the Great.
ReplyDeleteJust do it!
hmmm, heh heh... you dont wanna know.
ReplyDeletesurly: British people intimidate me, though. how british are you? if you're not very british then I guess I could. or if you can fake being from another, interesting country, like Mexico.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Pirate: you got it. One for Baby recipes!!!
Z: about anything BUT snatch. challenge!!!! whaddya say??
mj: note how you didn't say 'Canada. please do a post about Canada, please please please' because even YOU know that canada is boring and not interesting, like mexico. Or america.
gale: it is REALLY sordid. g rated or r rated version? depends on the blog it gets posted on.
anon: of course, the obvious answer is 'gimme an a, dorkus. geeze." and you got it, a tour. of something. not canada.
billy: HA you thought you could stump me on that didn't you? but I know LOTS AND LOTS of things about facial hair. oh yeah i do. I'm a former catholic.
mago: wow, you just started reading me and you....damn, you fit right in, don't you?? :)
voices: OH YES I DO! do not play the 'tard card with me, bucko. I will harrass you. I will.
I also request more photographical tours through the land you reside in and near. And the of the stores you frequent. And how about the odd balls that live in your neighborhood. You could blur out their eyes for privacy.
ReplyDeleteI WOULD REQUEST THAT WHEN I TRAVEL NORTH TO THE MOTHER COUNTRY I BE ABLE TO GET DRUNK AND EMBARRASS MY SELF IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMILY FOR AN EVENING AND YOU TAKE PICTURES OF IT ALL!!
ReplyDeleteThe etiquette of nocturnal flatulence, as giver and receiver, by FN, in three volumes, morocco-bound, some slight scuffing at the corners.
ReplyDeleteOf course, if I were you, I'd write about chucking flaming items(which I'll leave to your discretion)into Canada with my giant trebuchet, assuming that you have said trebuchet. Or carrying out an assault upon Linden. Hey, you're as good at fiction as the real stuff.
ReplyDeleteEh?
ReplyDelete:)
I want your take on The Native American Nation and what the Clintons do in Bed
ReplyDeleteAnd we all want more art history
ReplyDeleteand recipes (Native American recipes ???? remembering we cant get buffalo in the supermarkets in the UK so maybe not :-( )
ReplyDeleteAn exhibition of mustaches waxed to a fine point.
ReplyDeleteAnd I second the house tour...saves me peeking in your windows like a creepo...
How to kill all annoying old hippies using torture involving fluffy cushions, dugongs, and stuff - by FN (First Edition) Buttfuck Idaho Press 1997.
ReplyDeleteGarfer is on to something:
ReplyDeleteThe FN "How to"-series!
oh and we are going to canada within the month...
ReplyDeleteDefinately you being interviewed, perhaps interviewed by one or questions emailed by many?
ReplyDeleteOh and photos from a recent or future road trip, to see your yard and beyond...
Oh and your opinions on Damian Hirst and Banksy - If I have missed these in my absence can you point me in the right direction?
The rest of the world is curious about the USA because of it's socio/economic/political bipolarity coupled with a military capability to end all forms of Life on Earth.
ReplyDeleteNow that the American Empire is showing telltale signs of it's demise, perhaps you would be so kind as to explain why America is more obssessed with Entertainment Celebrities than restoring it's mandate to save the world from itself.
Or you could talk about Birds I know you love Birds.
No interviews, those end up so lame. But the recipes, and how you came up with them, those are interesting. So food! (we can find bald pussy all over the internets)
ReplyDeleteWhich is more of a burden for you?
ReplyDeleteHaving a big brain?
Or ginormous gazongas?
an interview with her boobs perhaps?
ReplyDeletejoy: why do you want to know about my neighbors balls, joy?
ReplyDeletevoices: the only reason you're trying to cadge an invite is because you think we're swingers. *full body shiver*
tim: if I'm already asleep, tim, how can I...come on.
xul: you know, i live less than a mile from a brand new, state of the art Homeland Security installation. as soon as i wheel out the trebuchet i have helicopters flying overhead.
mago: congratulations!
beast: native americans-already done it. clintons-ew. art history-we shall see. buffalo recipes for native americans-they're HERBIVORES, BEAST.
geo: moustaches-gotcha!! neighbors...WHATS WITH Y'ALL AND MY NEIGHBORS?
garfy: this entire blog constitutes an act of hippie torture.
mago: how to....check!
voices: and what; you're too cheap to pay for lodging? yeah, i know cheezer. I know.
hardhouse: damian hurst and banksy are close personal friends of mine. i would never betray their trust. for less than 1/4 million.
coppensDon: may I refer you to the don henley song "all she wants to do is dance?"
joeVegas: 1. you aren't very well acquainted with my readers, are you Joe. 2. actually, I was going to do a mini-post for you over at UJ. oh yes!! OH YES!!
mj: oh, definitely the ginormous brain. abbotsford airport keeps calling to complain; every time i get another revolutionary idea it diverts air traffic. true.
voices: keep it up. you'll be knocking at my door in vain, while we huddle inside and laugh and watch your children shiver and cry. do i get an email any time soon or are you just going to come leaping out of my toilet planter and go
WAIT WAIT WAIT NO NO NO I DO NOT HAVE A TOILET PLANTER NO NO NO SHIT.