...of not knowing which way to turn...
...of having reached one of lifes' crossroads in a Volkswagen with faulty brakes, and got in a huge flaming wreck with a busload of nuns and mexican wrestling personalities...
Yes, when times get to be too much, and you wish you had a friend...
...someone to trust,
...someone to provide counsel and a shoulder to lean on during this difficult time...
you need someone like Mr. Egyptian Penis Dude.
FACT: Mr. Egyptian Penis Dude has devoted his life to the service of others. Many consider him uniquely qualified to service others. Gifted, even.
Anyone may approach Mr. Egyptian Penis dude with a question. Here we see Mr. Yen Shi Baby asking Mr. Egyptian Penis Dude for his sage advice.
Seeker: Please can you tell me if i will ever-
EPM: Blah blah blah blah yes, fine, sure, I know, I know already. I'm psychic. I know. Please God, I know. Seriously.
Seeker: But can you tell me-
EPM: Would you like to meet my twin brother? We get in fights all the time. Watch us fight. Watch.
EPM: EEEEE Hawakowa! I FIGHT YOU!
epm2: OW OW OW OW OW OW
EPM: OK now I have defeated my evil brother! I can answer now.
Seeker: Ok, Mr. Egyptian Penis Dude, I'm ready to receive your wisdom!
EPM:....OK. Are you sure?
EPM: Are you sure you're ready?
EPM: Are you really really super-allidocious top secret ready?
MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER TODAY. ASK MR. EGYPTIAN PENIS MAN A QUESTION.