Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I has it


No I did not get a flu shot. Yes I know I'm in the high-risk demographic because I'm an asthmatic. Paradoxically, that is exactly the reason that I can't get a flu shot. Why? BECAUSE IT ALWAYS GIVES ME THE FUCKING FLU.

This is by far the most PAINFUL flu, in terms of general body aches, I've ever had. It started out, weirdly enough, as a horrific painful burning backache and then suddenly jumped up into my lungs. Whenever I cough it feels like I'm being shot with a pin nailer in multiple places on my chest, back, face and legs, and let me hasten to assure you that is NO EXAGGERATION. I've been coughing so hard that I've thrown up. My lungs have filled with a substance that closely resembles semi-hardened carpenters glue, and there's been times that I thought my air passages were going to stick together and stay that way. Bad news, kids.

The good news is, if you can get ahold of some amoxycillin and a bottle of Cheretussin (codeine and guaifenesin syrup), your shit is set. Run a line of the antibiotic, knock back a half a shot of the syrup and stay hydrated. Stay warm. Watch some Food Network. It'll fix you right up.

22 comments:

  1. Don't tell me about status asthmaticus, just avoid it will ya.

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  2. Poor baby, have some toast and some tea

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  3. that sounds like bad shit. I hope you get better quick. You need some of your chicken soup broth maybe.

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  4. Just stay the hell out of Canada.

    *seals borders*

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  5. mago: well I'm TRYING.

    gale: roger wilco! ive been living on wolfgang puck italian wedding soup and hot tea for the past three days *snurk*

    joy: had some of that just last night! I've been peeing a lot, actually. an all-liquid diet will do that to ya.

    mj: I want nothing to do with any Canadian seals ANYWAY. thats probably how i got this in the first place.

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  6. Major suckage! I've been there, done that, and didn't even get the freakin' t-shirt! And correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't living on the Canadian border have some advantages like close proximity to "The Good Stuff" OTC?

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  7. You are getting very sleeeeepy, your eyes are glazing ooovvvveeerrr...

    This flu is nasty in that about day 2 or 3 you start feeling human again and WHAMO! Also you are still shedding virus for as long as a week. Sounds like you are doing all the right stuff. Relaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx......

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  8. Apart from that, how are you?

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  9. I just haven't got time to be ill with Christmas coming up!

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  10. yikes, sugar! hope y'all feel better soon! i have asthma, too, so i've been carrying a gun and sayin, "cough near me and i'll fuckin kill ya!" *as she takes a hit off her inhaler* xoxox

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  11. Would you like a link to some cute pics of sweet little micro pigs?
    No?
    Snuggle down and feel well soon.
    x

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  12. Gently paddling in a sea of warm Bratensauce? Frolicking over lusg green vegetable fields in Southern France and Middle Italy, India and South America, through the souks of Arabia and the wonders of the Pacific? Aww ... :)

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  13. So sorry to hear you've been bashed by the piggy flu, Nations. I have a friend who's asthmatic and she won't take the shot either. Understandably.

    Codeine is great stuff for calming a cough, but also bungs you up something fierce. Glad you're on a lot of liquids or you'll be hauling out the dynamite in a while to clear the southern passage.

    Feel better soon! ((hugs))

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  14. Happy Thanksgiving regardless of the fact that you won't be able to enjoy the bounty.

    Perhaps someone can freeze the leftovers for you.

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  15. Sympathise. Had it in Sept - was a shitter. Keep warm and get that decongestant up your nose - that was the only thing that saved me XXXX

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  16. PS: That and massive amounts of Ventolin (Salbutomal). Antibiotics didn't work.

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  17. Nurse Beast is on his way to mop brows , fluff pillows and make terrible jokes about rings of fire and bacon sandwiches .
    Hope your feeling better :-)

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  18. Well, bugger! Last I heard from you your computer had a virus. Must have been a doozy cos here you are with Pig Pox.

    Take whatever kicks the germs, kiddo.Wouldn't want to lose you again.

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  19. Get healthy - kill them pigs!

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  20. Checked with F and he say's that swine flu isn't France's fault although he went on to say that he wouldn't have put it past Sarkozy.

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  21. Oh, god. Pirate and I both had it BAD. It was the first flu I've ever had. I thought I was going to die. Absolutely everything hurt. It was like being hit by a bus. My head was in so much pain I actually cried, but my stomach was so topsy-turvy I couldn't take a fucking aspirin. Shit I'm glad that's over with.

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