Sunday, September 09, 2012

Dammit Argentina I said don't cry for me.

This past week the Ritalin suddenly stopped working, turned, and went for my throat.  Adderal was right up front about wanting me to die, at least...Ritalin just watched.  And waited.

This past week and a half has not been a picnic.  I knew something was up...but seriously, when the only warning is 'Gee, I've been moody lately'...?  Yeah, gosh, I'll take that seriously; I've been moody lately. Fancy that.  I'm 52 and I'm moody.

The deciding event occurred this afternoon, when for no reason I became...let us say 'distraught'...in the middle of Harbor Fucking Freight. 

Nobody likes cheap Chinese hardware more than me.   Up until the very moment I wasn't, I was perfectly happy to be there, the bracing aroma of high carbon steel in my nostrils...lovely day, lovely Biker, buying hardware, looking at the extension cords, OH GOD PLEASE LET ME DIEEEEEEE.

...and  I mean just like THAT.  It turns on like a light switch. No warning. It lasts for 45 minutes max, then just as suddenly it's gone. This is exactly whats happened with the other two medications, only much, much worse.

YES I STOPPED TAKING IT. 

Truthfully, if I have to live the rest of my life with untreated ADHD, at this point I'm ready to do just that. 

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