Wednesday, November 07, 2012

LEGALIZED IT!!! almost


In honor of Washington State's legalization of recreational marijuana use,  I thought I'd re-run this post.


Here, for your edification, is the TRUE and ACCURATE story behind the 'Pot Brownies' myth!  


Alice B. Toklas was a woman who enjoyed a good meal and loved her saturated fats. So legendary became her table that Ms. Toklas was prevailed upon to write up a collection of recipes: The Alice B. Toklas Cook Book.

In this collection are many delicious things. One of the delicious things is a mildly narcotic party nibble she presents to us with the title
'HASCHICH FUDGE (which anyone could whip up on a rainy day)'

NOT BROWNIES. NOT HASH BROWNIES. NOT POT BROWNIES. NO BROWNIES. THERE ARE NO BROWNIES IN THE ALICE B. TOKLAS COOKBOOK. OF ANY KIND. NO NO NO.

And in fact her 'haschich' fudge is not chocolate and has no hash in it, but instead dried fruit and crumbled cannibis sativa (she also suggests indica in areas where obtaining sativa 'may present certain difficulties'.)

Her introduction to the method is priceless:

This is the food of Paradise- of Baudelaire's Artificial Paradises: it might provide an entertaining refreshment for a Ladies' Bridge Club or a chapter meeting of the DAR. In Morrocco it is thought to be good for warding off the common cold in damp winter weather and is, indeed, more effective if taken with large quantities of hot mint tea. Euphoria and brilliant storms of laughter; ecstatic reveries and extensions of one's personality on several simultaneous planes are to be complacently expected. Almost anything Saint Theresa did, you can do better if you can bear to be ravished by 'un evanouissement reveille'.

By fudge she means 'a gooey sweet thing'. I have no doubt that grated chocolate could be added to wonderful effect, particularly if the chocolate were one of the new high-percentage, low-sugar darks. Nevertheless, I present to you the recipe as she puts it down, with my paraphrase.

1 teaspoon black peppercorns,
1 whole nutmeg,
4 cinnamon sticks,
1 tsp. coriander
1/4 oz good bud, well cleaned and very dry
Pulverize all to a fine powder (a coffee grinder would work excellently here.)

One handful each, chopped fine:
stoned dates
dried figs,
shelled almonds,
shelled peanuts

Add all the above together and toss to combine.

Melt 1/3 c butter, and dissolve into this
1 cup sugar
NOTE: do not cook this mixture...simply stir the sugar into the just-melted butter and take off the fire.

Remove from heat. Cool until mixture can be handled, empty into bowl with other ingredients and stir together.
Turn out onto a cool smooth surface and knead to combine thoroughly.
Roll into a log, from which lumps may be cut and rolled into balls about the size of a walnut and dusted with powdered sugar. Try and do your best to let these sit at least overnight so that the flavors blossom.  They will firm up but never quite solidify.

Ms. Toklas advises us that two of these are more than sufficient. Those of more robust or practiced liver may find that the suggested serving size must be adjusted upwards.


Hey, you know. I'm just sayin'. It's certainly not like I'd be making anything like this for Christmas eve or anything.
That would be wrong.

41 comments:

  1. Uh, would this happen to be on the menu for the lucky Infomaniac Sumas Dinner Extravaganza winner? Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As a matter of fact, this and 'The Recipe'. Guess you better win, huh!

      Delete
  2. Sounds interesting; back in the day I wasn't that much of a cook! BTW, your avatar is kind of interesting. Any story there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome and howdy-do to you, Don! Fortunately for your past self, Alice Fudge doesn't require cooking, unless heating butter in the microwave was a challenge for Past Don, and I doubt it was. Re the avatar: I tried to find the dorkiest thing I could that represented Native Americans, women, and white ignorance because I am NA, female, and, by way of an accident of adoption, whiter than Uncle Bens' Rice. Plus a corn dog. Stick around! It gets weirder!

      Delete
  3. Might be just the thing to celebrate the election result.
    Once upon a time, cookies with similar ingredients were sold in cafes in Holland.
    May I add...for those who find the smoke sickly, one nibbled cookie, preferably in the fresh air, can be a wonderful thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I envy your vacations!!
      Nowadays, cookies with similar ingredients; hell, Alice Fudge itself, is sold in 'Dispersaries' here...right up until they get shut down. Seems while state and local governments can declare them legal, the Feds still haven't got the message...so when they aren't 'questioning' commercial truck drivers who wear turbans, they raid Marijuana dispensaries. Yep, yep yep.

      Delete
  4. My first brownie time was college, somebody brought some brownies by and just said they were good. I had two, not realizing how good. Went to take a nap in anticipation of a concert I had tickets for that night. Nope, woke up next afternoon over 24 hours later. They were good dreams though.
    (glad you are still here)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you're still out there too. Are you still seeing tracers? If I turn around suddenly and say BOOGABOOGABOOGA will you collapse in hysterical laughter on the floor and not be able to stop and have to be dragged into the bathroom and held under the shower?

      Delete
    2. You wouldn't have to hold me under

      Delete
  5. What I can't believe is that the measure passed in Washington, and Oregon rejected their version! I grew up there in the 70's too, you know! Oregon, it seems, has always been on the progressive edge of the Pacific Northwest--or at least it used to be. But Washington got there first this time? What, oh what, is the world coming to!?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No shit, huh? I know! I was shocked as shit when my buddy clued me in the morning on Facebook. WTF Oregon? Although come to think of it, Washington is home to more wealthy dopers per capita than Oregon HACK KAFFMICROSOFTKAFFKAFFHACK. Oregon has more dope farmers, though. And they were out in the 'patch instead of down at the polls, apparently. HOORAY US!!

      Delete
  6. Something very nice to nibble on indeed!
    I can't wait till they stop making me pee in a cup....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you can come up with a clean...contribution...I'll make room for it in my freezer. I just love a man in uniform.

      Delete
  7. I'm not good with the whole baking thing.

    I am awesome with the eating though.

    I'll bring coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silly rabbit; cooking is dangerous. All youse has to do to make this is WARM UP SOME BUTTER IN THE MICROWAVE. The rest is all mixing and mashing and moving and grooving and so forth.

      Delete
    2. ....ok fine, you heat up the butter with the sugar in the microwave. Still...not cooking. You could literally do this by setting a pan in front of the heat register for a few minutes. Not that I've ever done that. *ahem*

      Delete
    3. Yeah...you make it sound easy.

      I'll bring coffee...you show me how. I'll make sure I write everything down, because I sure as heck won't remember a damn thing after.

      Delete
  8. You aint bitchin either! It's awesome. It doesn't hammer you between the eyes like smoking does...it just drifts in like the tide, and pretty soon you're mixing up the names of Santas reindeer with the names of the Seven Dwarves, which has NEVER happened to me.*blush*

    ReplyDelete
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  11. Those brownies would be SO perfect to graze on now that I am spending a couple weeks recuperating.
    To be honest I prolly haven't had any real "baked goods" since the 70s? That's sad.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Merry Christmas - or whatever you Sumasians prefer to call it. *MWHA*

    ReplyDelete
  13. Merry Christmas, Ms Nations!!
    Sxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Merry Christmas you beautiful thing you... Muwah

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  15. Happy New Year... Where are you Ms Nations?
    Standing glassy eyed at the fridge with the door open wondering who the hell put you there again I suppose?

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  16. Yes, where the hell ARE you?

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