Friday, September 01, 2006

FirstNations explains it all for YOU.

When you switch to a vegetarian diet you will have to clean the toilet a lot more often.

It's the poo issue. When a carnivore visits the Ritz, it's like the helicopter delivery of a refrigerator.
When a vegetarian does, it's more like a tickertape parade.

Good news: Recreational drugs are lots of fun. Try some today!

Odor is particulate. Actual particles of what you are smelling are entering your nose and flowing outward through your entire body.

You cannot teach a cow to memorize the periodic table of elements.

Not even if you wear a fez.

There are a lot more crazy people in the world than you might think. And not good crazy, brothers and sisters.

Be afraid.

Any drug that you can take orally also comes in a form meant to be introduced anally.
If this intrigues anyone I do not want to know about it. LALALALALAICANTHEARYOU, LALALALA.
Found this out because a guy my husband worked for had an irrepressable gag reflex. He carried acetomeniphin suppositories in his lunchbox in case he got a headache.

Sometimes you do need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.


  1. Wow, that fifth photo is spooky. Are they a ventriloquist and his dummy?

  2. welcome, tamburlaine!
    that would be Jim Baker and Tammy Faye Baker...infamous in America for being phony religious huckster-slimeballs.
    so yeah, a ventriliquist and his dummy.

  3. imagine doing a threesome with Jimmy and Tammy.
    I dont know why I said that.
    Attention seeking I expect.
    Do you reckon they say grace before oral sex???
    Oh no its getting worse

  4. Oh, good ol' Jim and Tammy. If God chose them to go out and spread His message, God is clearly quite the comedian.

    And also, suppositories? for a headache? I think I'd rather just deal with the migraine with my good friend wine.

  5. I am on recreational drugs right now.

    But I haven't had the urge to take all my clothes off. I think that might frighten the flatmates.

    (I wish I didn't know who Jim and Tammy-Faye were either...)

  6. I have no gag reflex.

  7. but you've got to wonder how well the medication is absorbed, you know, through your ass. I wonder if its better because its not being broken down by oh nevermind i don't even want to think about shoving aspirin up my ass because my head hurts.

    that's just too much.

  8. It gets absorbed faster. Not sure why, but why would you want to shove it up yer ass.

    So, is the new diet going well FN?

  9. **** does I am going on holiday dance****

  10. Hey...that so fits with Doug´s word for Friday.
    I loved it and I do feel a bit smarter now. But that is a lot of information to get in 60 whole beleive system is shattered...
    Lovely weekend, amazing Septemeber and all the best to you.
    I still haven't gotten my shirt!

  11. "imagine doing a threesome with Jimmy and Tammy"

    I wonder if her pubes are like her eyelashes. *shudder*

  12. beast: that is just disgusting.*whacks beast with a rolled up newspaper and sends him to a remote island in Greece*
    christine: all the guy could eat was soft food. i guess the big joke was to offer him a piece of pepperoni and watch his gag reflex start to go off. ha ha.
    spinny: good for you! you rock those recreational drugs, girlfriend. (swipe is hot)
    mj: this may not be something your husband wants you noising about, mj. on the other hand it does explain your recent ho-intensive trip to vegas.
    claire:apparently it's supposed to work just fine. they do it for some gastro patients as well.
    noshit: why do you know that? and the new diet is going pretty well, ackshully apart from the... see item #1 on the list.
    beast; oh go AWAY.
    minka: but now you can build an entire new belief system PLUS not waste time trying to teach a cow to memorize the periodic table of elements. what size pengie are you?
    billy: thats real nice coming from a cute little toddler aged doggie.
    plus now i have this really, really sick kind of 'un chien andalou' type image in my head. thanks.
    no really, thanks!

  13. The French prefer to take their meds up the bum even if their swallowing reflexes are functioning properly. What that says about them as a nation I am not sure.

  14. Billy I bet there is a bit of pubic topiary going on below
    ***also shudders***

  15. I used to stick Ecstacy tabs up my arse . . .

  16. that was only because you had forgotten your handbag Frobi :-).
    FN your word verification letters are getting more ridiculously longer (8 letters now)

  17. welcome welcome, realdoc!
    kind of kills the whole 'vacation in sophisticated france' idea for me.
    beast: would you just not worry about tammy faye bakers tatty old cameltoe?
    frobi: then you get a stinky pinky, ratso; geeze. learn from the 60's, man; dissolve it in visine.
    see, and now im all thnking about that one scene in 'Trainspotting' and I didn't need that.
    beast:oh bitch, bitch, bitch! aren't you gone YET? ( i want a postcard. really.)

  18. Yeah as a fellow-vegetarian I can say that being "regular" is under-rated experience. Get the shit out, get it out now.
    And just when you thought a penis weathervane couldn't get any are the bomb FN.