Friday, September 22, 2006

UPDATE: just tab down to the last paragraph

During the summer I go through an average of five books a week, fiction. More accurately, I check out about five books at a time from the library, twice a week, and out of those five two might be readable. Not good, not acceptable, just readable.
So - ten actual physical books a week, perhaps five of which I read beginning to end, and unfortunately NONE of which may prove to be anything other than a way to kill some time.

This is what it's like to be me, as a reader: I can spot a flaw a mile away. The author runs out of interest in his own story, I know it before he does. If the writing gets threadbare and the mechanics show, I'll see them in luminescent colors. The psychology doesn't hold up under scrutiny, the facts are wrong, or any one of a hundred and fifty things concerning plot development, symbolism, you name it- it doesn't pass muster I close the covers and move on to the next book in the stack. And this is a fact: I pretend to no great skill myself, see, otherwise I'd be trying to make a go of this for money, but I can find my way around writing by sense of smell, just like the Pinball Wizard - if I do brag so myself. Do not play with me.


In other words, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Now go read
"The Smallest People in the World" by Keith Banner
"The Book of Illusions" by Paul Auster

______________________________________________________________

And now, on a completely unrelated note...
Today we went in to the Playboy of the Western Worlds residence to run some errands. As it so happens the local Orthodox Synagogue had hired the Residence's gorgeous ballroom to hold Rosh Hashana services. Everyone was so beautifully turned out. You could hear the cantors tenor voice carry all the way out onto the sidewalk out front.
WHERE THE POLICE OFFICER WAS STANDING GUARD.
I am so ashamed I could cry.
This is not my America.
THIS IS NOT MY COUNTRY. THIS IS NOT MY AMERICA.

15 comments:

  1. I can definitely relate with the book pickiness...

    Read "Bless me Ultima" by Rudolfo Anaya... I have never laughed so hard with a book in my life!

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  2. Good fiction: anything by Dorothy L. Sayers, beginning with 'Strong Poison'

    Good crap fiction: anything by Leo Frankowski, beginning with 'Crosstime Engineer.'

    Thank you, and you're welcome.

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  3. mizB: thank you for the title! good humor books are hard to come by. that goes on my list!
    cb: dully noted and also on the list. i loves me some space opera.
    thought you were on hiatus! go disport yourself!

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  4. This IS your country and it seems like there is a hole in the space time continuum...
    the image of a guard outside of an American Synagogue is right out of the 50s!..1750s, 1850s, 1950s...
    There has always been some Farshtinkener (dickhead) waiting around the corner.

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  5. btw, you do vote, don't you? i need to know that there are still a few sane people yanking the levers every november...

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  6. homo: it was horrible to see it in my little flyspeck on the map. these are our neibors.
    cb: oh HELL yes. does the pope shit in the woods?
    that came out wrong.

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  7. TOP SECRET MESSAGE FOR THE CHAMP:
    you make me regret the tubal ligation. very briefly. still, chalk one up. and now, i must go visit your site and collapse helplessly in laughter once again.

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  8. I love the Book of Illusions.

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  9. If it wasn't religion people were squabling over, it'd be something else (equally fucktarded).
    Be glad that the Bellingham police played it Supah-Safe and looked after its residents THE WAY THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. It sucks that it has to be that way, but at least we are still not at the point (as whiteys) that we say "Oh, it's some Jewish thing, fuck em".
    I have never been happier to be a godless(ish) Taoist, though, and that's sad.

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  10. Hey FN i read the power of the dog , it was great.
    Was that the one I was supposed to read ??

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  11. The Book of Illusions is a reat book but I'll always and forever be a Music of Chance kind of guy.

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  12. billy: cool! i'd never heard of the guy before i picked up the book. i'm really impressed with his work.
    neur: its just that, shit; here it is in bellingham. do the wiccans get this kind of grief? the Masonic lodge? crap.
    beast: thats...kipling.
    um, kipling is nice. glad you liked it.
    wyndham: well hello, stranger! someone has that checked out of the system at present...first thing i did was hop on the catalogue and check for MORE.

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  13. Darling, I went tout de suite to add your recommendations to my Amazon wish list (not that I'll ever have any time to get to them, what with all the important reality television and professional football I have to keep up with), and you should know that you got the Paul Auster title wrong. So much for a keen editorial eye! ;o)

    That said, as a fellow critical reader, I value your opinion, so I will try to pick up one of those volumes. However, remind me if I ever get over my own crippling self-criticism to produce a manuscript, NOT to send it to you!

    THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.
    THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

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  14. You know Neurotica makes a good point. It is sad, but true. No cops outside of our synagogue this year, but the reality of hatred is there with or without that reminder.

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