Friday, October 13, 2006

thirteen boogitywoogities

A halloweeny memey via DaNator!
do go visit, my darlings. you will be very glad you did.


1. whats the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Well, theres four of them actually, and they're all #1 for a different reason.

Alien 1: Relentless horror, extra horrible horror, with alien slime, and teeth, with big looooooooooong ew dripping, and jaws with teeth, and slime, horror, screaming, trapped, with all horrible Giger nightmarish evil, of the eggs, vagina, death, pulsating DON'T STICK YOUR WHOLE FACE INTO, hatching! don't, it, he, augh GLITCHWHOOSHGASCHLUURP with grabbing! melted! right onto his horrible, aw shit no, no no no no.
P.S. No don't let him have LUNCH AT THE TABLE YOU STUPID STUPID, NO, AW FUCK, SCREAMING, etc.

Hellraiser 2: Four words....Dr. Chenard's Brain Bamix.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1: Vile batshit crazy insanity that is so batbastard fuckdastardly, over the top depraved that I can't even think of a way to finish this sentance. With a chainsaw.

and of course, That Which May Not Be Named i.e. 'Conflagration in the Lower Atmosphere'. the message here is simple: if you are in the woods at night and you see something unusual, resist the urge to go back by yourself and investigate because ALIENS WILL DUMP MAPLE SYRUP ON YOU AND STICK NEEDLES IN YOUR EYES.

2. what was your favorite halloween costume as a child?
When I was eight I was a gypsy princess and I had a colorful scarf and a long midnight blue dress with rhinestones on it, and high heels, and real makeup, real dangly circle earrings and real boobs! Fine; sock-stuffies, but you know what I mean. I was ravishing!

3. if you had an unlimited budget, what would your Fantasy Costume be for this halloween?
Morticia Addams. Or Frobisher.

4. when was the last time you went trick or treating?
At Bellisfair Mall with my daughter in about1993. She was a beautiful princess (and still is!) and I was Dr. Hook (the singer. Only in a dress. It's complicated.)

5. whats your favorite halloween candy?
Mounds Bars special dark, Reeses cups, Peanut M&M's!!!! Zits here I come!

6. recount a scary nightmare you had
I was sleeping on the couch when a barefoot, blonde little boy, about eight years old, dressed in a white nightshirt walked into the yard. He walked straight up to the house and started knocking loudly on the wall right beneath the picture window I was sleeping next to. Then the knocking started travelling all around the outside of the house. True; the content isn't terribly scary, but it came in the form of a night terror, the only one I've ever had, and I can honestly say that I have never felt as overwhelming and pure a terror as I did waking up from that experience. I understand how people can die of fear now because If I'd had a heart condition of any kind I would have dropped dead. My hands and feet were tingling, my chest hurt, there were sparks in front of my eyes, I never want to go through that again.

7. what is your supernatural fear?
Noncorporeal entities of any kind. That includes 'good' ones. I do not want invisible things watching me! If you want to visit me, be a. alive, and b. visible, ok?

8. what is your creepy crawlie fear?
Anything maggotty entering and living in my body. Like maggots. Or botfly grubs (I saw them extract one from a womans' scalp on tv one time? NO.) Or magotty grubs, or any grubs, or alien larvae that infest your brain. No larvae; no maggots. No grubs. Bleah.

9. tell us about a time you saw a ghost, or heard something go bump in the night.
Nope. ok, I'll do bump in the night.
When you raise a daughter, and she is a teenager, you hear lots of things go bump in the night, like her ass bumping the side of the house as she goes out the bedroom window at 2am, or boys knocking on her window as they stand in your calendulas and smash them flat.

10. would you ever stay in a real haunted house overnight?
FUCK no.

11. are you a traditionalist (just a face) or do you get really creative with your pumpkins?
When I was doing pumpkins, I got pretty creative...I liked to make pierced lanterns with moons and stars rather than faces.

12. how much do you decorate your home for halloween?
Just a pumpkin on the porch steps nowadays. Back when, I painted the windows and wore a costume to hand out candy...one year I did a satanic altar with animal skulls and black candles and a 'grimoire' that you confronted when the door creaked open. This was not a big hit with the mommies in the area. Ever since that year we hardly get any trick or treaters!

13. what do you want on your tombstone?
"Do not use if allergic to peanuts."




Heeeeere, duckies...........heeeeere, duckies......

(tag, you're it! noshit, tamburlaine, carmentza, awaiting, neva)

18 comments:

  1. you didn't tag me but i'm doing it anyway. so there.

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  2. Oh, I just love Halloween and scary stuff. Good Meme and nice blog!

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  3. Where did you get the animal skulls? I think the children stopped coming because they found their missing pets that particular Halloween.

    I LOVE Halloween! It's not such a big holiday in the UK though :o(

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  4. I just loved your description of Alien. That was really funny. I bet you are really full of energy...it comes across in your words.

    Funnily enough, we were having a similar conversation about scary movies over on Dominic Zero's blog a few months back.

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  5. i'm sorry to say i completely get the idea of Dr. Hook in a dress, *my* version of that was Delta Dawn (i was working in a restaurant. yes... it was weird. no...the customers didn't find it nearly as clever as i did.)

    lovelovelove the meme! but since you've tagged me (you evil evil woman) i'm not gonna share any more of my 'ween memories here. i'll let ya know when the post-it is up... i'm thinkin' next week, but you KNOW how bad i am at getting things done, so i make no promises!! xox

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  6. cb: well fine.*bounces pine cone off cb's head, followed by stale croissant*
    babs: well howdy! its not usually so spooky. usually its more of a swearing, fat men kissing, stealing things from the wrecking yard kinda place. just so you know.
    hardhouse: truthfully? they were gifts. people do in fact look at me and think 'you know, i bet she'd like a defleshed head'. so far i've recieved an 8 point buck deer, a badger, an alligator and a cat. this is gods honest truth.
    too bad about halloween..it's the coolest holiday on the books!
    molly: well hello there miss molly bloom! and thank you. i loved you in 'broken blossoms'.
    neva: oh for the love of mike already! it's not a death sentance! are you blogging any more or is it just your dog now? i can't findja.

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  7. Huh. OK. Need coke.
    I do not drink... Wine...

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  8. Horrible scary movies , the entity (apart from the stupid bit at the end) you would hate it FN a corpereal invisible thingy that keeps attacking this woman...eeeek

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  9. Thanks for the tag,FN. I'm switching servers and domains, so it'll be a minute.

    Now, all I can think about are Reese's cups. Dang it! The torture, the torture!

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  10. i watched texas chainsaw when i was pregnant with small person. i didn't sleep for three nights.

    i first saw it when i was seven, of course, but that's another story..

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  11. I think on my tombstone I'd like "store it in a cool dry place".

    Great meme - tried to comment yesterday, but oooooohhhhh - it disappeared. How scarrrrryyyyy!!

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  12. noshit: you win the big ol giant DADA award (a broken urinal worth 6 millions dollars and called 'fountain') for mysterious comment of the week!
    beast: went and read the wiki...NONONONONNONNONONONO!!!!! not to mention, EW!
    awaiting: no hurry, my darling. now GO TO BED!
    surly: thats right; you had the really liberal parents.you're a betterman than i, gunga surly, because had i seen that at 7 i'd still be institutionalized under full restraint. gaaaaah.
    g: yours is better than mine! i like that! and look what it did for the egyptians, too. good advice all 'round.

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  13. Yay! You did it! Also: I'm so glad I didn't see the movies you did. I did see parts of Hellraiser, and I saw Alien, but as with Silence of the Lambs, I saw it on VHS and fast forwarded through all the really scary parts so I knew they were coming, first. Yes, I am a big chicken.

    BTW, botfly larvae! That's what I had! In my scalp! I was riding the subway with blood and fly effluvia running down my face. Was the video of me?

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  14. ooh. yours is good. i still have to do this because i have been a lazy, lazy blogger.

    Alien? Love it - that's exactly what i thought while watching it.

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  15. danator: with the one phrase'riding the subway with blood and botfly effluvia running down my face' you have utterly trumped into insignifigance anything horrible that has ever, ever happened to me. and no, not unless you are blonde,british and you've visited africa recently.
    claire: i agree! alien I rocks!!!! scares the crap out of me, but damn...you're expecting an alien, but not a GIGER ALIEN. yeeeeeeeeeeek!

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  16. Oh! god, i didn't mean i LOVE Alien... no, far from it. Can't handle it at all.. no, no, not me, can't watch... gaaah....
    I just meant i love your interpretation. See, cause that's what i thought while watching through my fingers. :)
    i did one of these too. you'll see what i mean if you read it.

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  17. Okay, I'm done with my meme. Haven't switched servers yet and I was trying to rally myself into a Halloween mood.

    Maybe Halloween movies and Nightmare on Elmstreet are in order.

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  18. Anonymous2:07 PM

    This is great -- to see a meme I created posted on a blog I've never been to before! Great answers!
    I'm adding you to my list of Monsters Who Completed My Meme at
    It’s A Blog Eat Blog World
    thanks ~ Morgen

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