Tuesday, November 28, 2006

postcard from the frozen wastes of Leng

...Quite a different picture this morning, eh, my best beloved? The snow blew away during the night. The sky is so blue it's painful to look at. My front yard is clear, our driveway is clean, and the windchill factor is -20.

The back yard is a different story, though. And this isn't even my damn snow; this is snow from somewhere up around Cultus Lake.
The wind has been blowing steadily, gusting up to 40-50 mph. The ground is frozen hard as iron. The snow that fell as wet flakes has been transformed into diamond sand. Snow ghosts and whirlwinds and huge tall mares' tails all made of ice crystals are blowing past. I wish I could get a picture of what it looks like when the sun hits these brief formations and turns them into moving diamond rainbows; it is enough to break your heart for beauty.
Not quite beautiful enough to distract me from the fact that my hot water lines are frozen solid, and Opie is refusing to eat because he doesn't want to have to go outside. I can't take a shower, and my dog is emitting foul, green, chunky gasses that simply defy explanation. I mean, even worse than usual.
But while I sit here, unshowered, watching daytime television inside my chilly house with my farting dog, I can console myself by looking out my front window and seeing this:

At least I didn't have to hire heavy equipment to dig me out of my brand new house. Thats right. Enlarge this and check it out. I watched it all morning as it scooped snow only to have half of it blow out of the bucket when it turned to dump it.
I am trying SO HARD not to feel all smug about this.


  1. I go away for a few days and you're in Canada. What gives?

    All new houses suck and are built by dumb people. That's my motto.

    Now go do what we used to do in the old farmhouse: heat some water up on the stove and take a mini-bath. Also, use the rising doggy methane to heat the uninsulated bits. Improvise, Rangerette!

  2. Anonymous10:09 AM

    right on, 'Nator!

    And don't attempt to suppress the laughter: rich people can afford to be mocked for their stupidity.

    One thing I don't understand: why so bored? surely you and the Yummy Biker can find something to amuse yourselves. Havn't you ever heard of a blizzard baby boom? *winks*

  3. Anonymous10:42 AM

    We're not rich, but we have a new home. We couldn't afford one in Seattle (where I'm from) anymore, as housing market prices have orbited somewhere out of our universe. So we are out in the faux-country.

    Sorry about your pipes being frozen, that stinks. It took my brother in law nearly five hours to get home last night because of the snow. It usually takes him less than a half hour.

  4. danator: i dont want to get this dogs ass near an open flame; hell, i could tuck him under my arm and use him to weld with. poor little bastard.
    they just closed off the main street here because LOADED SEMI TRUCKS WERE BEING BLOWN OFF THE ROAD. and main street? 20 mph. walking speed. yeah.
    cb: the man's at work, cb. some of us are not free to copulate in a big old grunty heap 24/7 with pirates. (my jealousy is only mitigated by the fact that the pirate does not ride a harley. maybe santa should bring him one. nothing sexier than a swabbie on 2 wheels!)
    pam: oh no kidding, prices are trippin in seattle. stay home today! for heavens' sake you and yours! stay in! the freeways down there look like a disaster zone! people are abandoning their cars on the Mercer st. exit!!

  5. Anonymous1:51 PM

    Yeah,, it's very ugly down here. I had to go out though. In order to torture myself even more today, I had a dental appointment.

    Ow. Ow. Ow.

  6. Anonymous2:42 PM

    no, no harley. he's more of an Astin Martin man. :-D

  7. but arent the dog farts helping to keep the house warm? you should really be thankful. it may be them that kept you from having to be dug out! aside from the stench it sounds so cosy. love the pics and your description

  8. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr
    Thermal knickers and a vest.....thats my advise.

  9. Lets all get naked and huddle, its a survival technic, really.

  10. Wow the snow drifts are hug.
    Reminds me of that sand in the shahara desert where the wind covers peoples houses over with dirt.
    Are snow ghosts something like a dirt devil?

  11. WOW!!! Man…

    This site is awesome.
    I have checked it for a wile and I like it so much.
    Really! Most be more sites like this one.
    This is a little info for people that want to learn of bongs.
    This info is more extensive than this but you can get a superficial idea reading this and
    Avoid mistake when you’re starting to use it.
    • The base is filled with water to the depth dictated by the bong. Water quality can include use of tap water, which may promote mineral buildup, or distilled water, which deposits less residue on the smoking equipment and is easier on lungs. Sometimes other liquids are used, e.g., lime water, giving the smoke a different taste. More rarely, liquids like Coca-Cola and herbal teas are used. However, such liquids can make cleaning difficult and time-consuming.
    • The substance to be smoked is packed into the bowl and ignited. Cigarette lighters and matches are commonly used for ignition. Packing the bowl is a balance between filling it with enough substance to create a useful amount of smoke and leaving enough room for air to be sucked through the substance.

    When inhaling, the volume of the lungs increases, causing the air in the lungs to decrease in pressure. The air in the lungs is then at a lower pressure than the air in the atmosphere. The pressure difference causes a flow of air from outside of the bong through the bowl picking up smoke from the burning substance. The smoke then bubbles through water and on into the chamber where it is temporarily held. Once the chamber is full to the smokers desired capacity, the hole above the water level is uncovered, either the bowl is pulled out of the stem, or, in bongs with an attached bowl a "carb" or "Shotgun" (a small hole that is covered by the thumb) is uncovered and the smoke is inhaled into the lungs. Once in the lungs, the active chemicals in the smoke are absorbed into the blood stream.
    And you maybe want to learn more about it.
    If you want it try this site is nice too and have much information about bongs and more.
    Head Shop and Bong Amazing Legal Herbal Highs, featuring Herbal Smoke, Bongs, Herbal highs, Marijuana Alternative, Headshop Herbal Smoking Blends, Hashish, Herbal Smoke Online, Headshop, Smokeshop, cannibis, legal smoking alternatives for herbal highs and aphrodisia. http://www.headshopinternational.com