Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Locust Purples' Racecar Have Winning Go or Cheat?

This is the evening sun illuminating a curtain of rain; a small, localized shower up in the foothills just SE of my house.
Down here in the valley there wasn't a drop of rain.

...which might have suggested to another, more motivated person that it was time to get the lawnmower out and, like, mow the lawn while I could still see out my windows.

Which was right when my muse decided it was time to make a collage! I SPRANG INTO ACTION LIKE A BIG SPRINGING ACTIVE THING!

...vital creative ingredients assembled...CHECK! Phone disassembled...CHECK!
(The cheese grater, the margarine and the toaster played no part. And they were sad.)

Colors mixed and swatched and stuck up all over the front room 'because the light changes in there'...CHECK!

Obnoxious handmade papers painted and stuck up where everyone has to glance at them as they walk by...CHECK!

Dining room table trashed, materials left lying around...CHECK!

And in between all this creative activity I actually found a few moments to ride around on the mower. Just to make it look like I, you know, did something.

Fine. Not much of something.


I mean, Jesus H. Christ on a red bicycle. This is frightening. This shit's SEVEN INCHES TALL.
And I do NOT remember leaving those buckets back there either. I'm afraid to see what's in them.

I might get back to it today.

If I feel like it.

I guess.


  1. Ooh, Spring creative springing! Can't wait to see the final result!

    Of the collage, that is, not the mowing. I quite like the lawn long with yellow flowers in it, myself.

  2. danator: yeah, i keep trying to convince people that the dandelion is worth protecting since it's endangered. nobody buys this. why?

  3. Fn - i love you. i really, really do.

    that is all.

  4. Sigh, sunshowers. Big, cluttery yard. Mountains.


  5. yeah, the dandelion is endangered like the mosquito is endangered. if mosquitos were pretty to look at maybe i wouldn't hate them quite so much.

  6. Beautiful.And funny. And so bloody true!
    Very young dandelion leaves are a nice addition to a boring lettuce.Roots can be dried and ground as coffee substitute (not in MY cup, thankyou!)
    Now I'm off to scatter my own bits of paper and glue,etc.Yes, my toaster will be sad.

  7. i'm so jealous of your weather and stand in awe of your creative spirit!

  8. Anonymous9:04 PM

    i bow down to the master of photography art. your pictures are so much better than mine. beautiful job, fn.

  9. As Jagger said...

    "One o'clock, two o'clock,
    three o'clock, four o'clock chimes
    Dandelions don't care about the time
    Dandelion don't tell no lies
    Dandelion will make you wise
    Tell me if she laughs or cries
    Blow away dandelion, blow away dandelion"

    I guess it can't be that hard to roll? Keith must have come up with this one.

  10. Yer garden looks like an overgrown graveyard, you should make up some stones for effect.

  11. We had a pair of yellow mop-buckets abandoned outside in a similar position. My little petal claimed to hear croaking noises from time to time. I took no notice of her, (like you're meant to), but when I stumbled over them one day and looked inside, a frog sprang out. A real puzzle, because the nearest pond or stream is nearly a mile away.

  12. You are so posh , having a sit down mower.
    I have a pile of volvo wheels(plus tyres) , stacked in my back yard , left by Mr C in the front garden ,( because he is a lazy bastard)moved by me to the back yard..... I enquired the other day if he required them anymore...hoping that this would drop a subtle hint that they are spoiling the ambience in my little slice of heaven( and I want shot of them) , and this conversational ruse would establish an open dialogue resulting in the removal of the aforementioned unsightly annoyances.
    I recieved the massivley enlightening
    followed by retreating footsteps and the slamming of the front door.
    I feel a career in international diplomacy slipping away from me :-(

  13. was one of those swatches TERRACOTTA?????

    *laughs mockingly*

  14. Ms. Freakin Green Elf Shorts3:40 AM

    I wanna play - I like stickin' and gluin' but have NO talent - can mow a lawn though - if I had some grass.

    Can't wait to see the finished result(s)

  15. Thats not a lawn, here in blighty, that would qualify as a meadow!

  16. if we get a pic of you atop the mower, i will gladly scratch your snout

  17. 1st picture, fantastic.

    My lawn is the size of a room. I no sooner get the mower out than have to put it away again.

  18. Yeah, that's definitely a meadow by British standards. Everyone in our street keeps their grass two centimetres' long, maximum. The busybody bloke next door is out there all day long creating new flower beds and trying to strike up conversation. I wish he would go away.

    Plus, we don't have any mountains :(

  19. There's something to be said for long grass; if one can't see the cat poo one isn't obliged to remove it.

  20. claire: well ok then. i love you too. you know i'm married, right?

    alala: once it stops raining, this is the place to be, fo sho. except for the unnatural grass growth said rain produces.

    cb: that is why i love battie bats. they come through in the evening and cut a swath through the clouds of mosquitos like a dream!

    dinah: i am really interested in seeing more of what you're up to artistically there. i like the look of that!

    kyah: WHERE YOU BIN SHIKSA???? hot damn! and thank you!

    pinkie: oh HAIL no. girlie, no. go see young POD...see the comments and linkie to his photographic butt. go back through his archives. now that boy has the stuff. i mean, thank you, but he da man.

    homoE: now that's going back a few decades. yeah, seems a little twee for ol mick, doesn't it?

    knudie: what makes you think there aren't any? I haven't even got to the Slumber Bower section yet.

    sopwith: i love froggers. we have them everywhere! this time of year they sing in the evening, too. of course the one i have living under my house doesn't sing, he creaks like a rusty hinge.

    beast: yeah hell, posh; that bitch just cost me 75$. and then hot out the shop, first thing the Biker 4-wheeled it over a damn landscaping rock and bent the mulching blade!!!!! i think i married the american incarnation of the formidible Mr. C. now there's a thought i shoulda never thunk...

    Frobi: As time passes you become more of a cipher, my ratso. is this 'terracotta=laughter'statement some manifestation of chemically induced sensory crossover?
    ....yeah...i have to blue that up a tad. kinda pink, isn't it.

    ziggi: then we're both in luck! collage is the kindergarten of the arts! come on over and we'll throw on some 'Mary Poppins' and have graham crackers and juice while we cut and paste!

    totallyU: and a watermeadow at that. the back half is still squelchy. gaaaah.

    pod: have no fear, my nose will NEVER be that itchy. i like my readers.

    tick: at this time of the year, i envy you. i'm thinking about renting a baler for mine.

    betty: if i'd known you lived in Lynden-just two miles away! i'd have come by and said hello already. gimme time...i ought to have this looking good in a couple of months...

    ara: or the dog poo, either. why do you think we have a mulching blade? :)

  21. You have a riding mower? The Spouse Sparrow will be soooo envious.

    I'm envious of the green. We didn't get any rain this past winter here in So Cal (even though it's pouring down buckets right now, ironically enough), so it's all scraggly brown weeds, here in the 'hood. We have mountains, quite close, too, but you can't see them most days, due to the smog.

  22. thanks for tipping your cap in my direction (that could sound a bit gooey...). perhaps i secretly wanted to scratch your nose....