Wednesday, January 09, 2008


Blogger keeps chowing down on my pictures so fuck'em.

Well. I guess a few updates are in order.

My daughter eloped and broke my heart. I will never speak to her again and I hope

Nah, I'm lying. It was great!!! She looked BEAUTIFUL, she married a great guy, AND IT DIDN'T COST ME A DIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want to see the picture you have to go HERE, though. MY blog won't print them.

Ninjas are cool, but not as cool as robots. If robots break down you can repair them. Plus you can bolt on awesome stuff like laser cannons and circular saws that come shooting out of their chests and fly out and saw through stuff. You can't do that with ninjas.

I gave up a baby for adoption in 1979, and lo and behold, he found me three days ago! He is a gorgeous young man and he had a wonderful life growing up. We are still getting acquainted, but I think things are going to be great. I have five more family members now...and three of them are grand kids! What does it feel like? A BIG DAMN RELIEF IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. I know from bitter experience exactly what Moses' mother must have felt as she put her baby into a basket and set it adrift on the water. And when that's the best, sanest option, you know things must suck....and they did.
I am so overjoyed now that it keeps hitting me in waves. Strange? You have no idea. But very joyful too. Incredibly joyful!

My husband finished his first half of college ON THE HONOR ROLL. This is not too damn shabby for an evil, cigar chomping, tattooed old reprobate. In fact, this cigar chomping old reprobate placed in the top 2 percentile IN THE NATION.



My dog smells bad. That's not news, but I thought I'd say it.

The Playboy of the Western World has moved once again, into a facility that is something in between a full-on nursing home and simple assisted care. I just went to help him get his phone service transferred and had to cut my visit short because he had a 'gentleman caller'. Once again I am pleasantly surprised, not to mention relieved and grateful, at how far care for the elderly has come since I was a child. It's nice to know that being old and sick no longer means poverty, squalor, bad smells and over-medication. These places are WONDERFUL. If anyone is having to face the time when their parents need more than you can provide, I cannot urge you strongly enough to go out there and take a look around. This place costs 2350.00 a month, with a supervising R.N. and L.N.s to administer meds and assist with other personal and medical needs. That ain't too damn shabby at all. All meals provided, trips, shopping, housekeeping, a billiards room, visiting doctors...the list goes on and on. He's private pay, but Medicaid COVERS THIS. YES.
Things have changed for the better, and I mean REALLY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.


  1. I wondered what all those boxes were on the 'crop circle' post.

    Well done to your old man!

    Good luck with 'new' son.

  2. How can you stand all of this Fantastic News?!
    Your daughter is beautiful and what a hoot! I said hoot didn't I?She looked so happy standing next to Illya Kuryakin, the other man from U.N.C.L.E.

    Your son found you and more grandchildren..I am so thrilled for you.
    A brilliant 2 percentilian husband, which of course you have always known.
    and a home for the larger than life Playboy..who is still receiving visitors no less.

    Unbefrickinlievable FN..
    except for the dog of course..
    can't resist:

    My dog has no nose.
    How does he smell?

  3. Whoa! That's a lot of happy endings. Happiness abounds!

  4. Woo, and indeed, Hoo!

    glad it worked out with the kid. still bummed it's not me!

  5. Congratulatins cigar chomping biker!!! And as for the odor of your dog - can you describe? Perhaps our dogs were rolling in the same area.

  6. Woohoo!

    Have you given your son your blog URL yet?

  7. top two percent in the first nation? damn how many of you are there? confuckingratulations on the cool son-finding-you thing!!!! so pumped that worked out for you! man what a cool story! so lucky!!

  8. That's a very good January you are having out west.

  9. tick: thank you my darlingXX

    homoE: it's disgusting, isn't it? just like that nose comment at the end there. DEE-gusting! :) but things are just maxed out on the awesome meter lately! its wild!

    21mom: it's great!

    cb: wouldnt that have been cool? i'd claim ya. but the plumbing was all wrong. unless theres something you need to need to reveal to your future husband...? OMG!! don't start your marriage out with a LIE!

    gale: i think its eau de elderly hound. and thanks...i need one of those bumper stickers that says 'My Maniac is an Honor Student at WCC'
    maybe 'My Honor Student CAN AND WILL Beat Up Your Honor Student'

    mj: You read my mind. I think its best not to at this stage of the game. I mean,lets not jump him in like that; this isn't the Crips after all.

    voices: its just INSANE. when things like this happen to a person it just feels like....'ok......' kind of. I'm still getting over the 'he's OK!' thing!

    ara: aint it a trip? I need to get over and see you chickie.

    ratso: succinct, yet short. did you ever come up with an answer about that thing on my arm?

  10. Blimey, FN, I wander off for 5 minutes and you're all freakin' cheerful!
    Nah, glad to hear, sounds like you're having a deservedly happy noo year and long may it continue.

  11. Anonymous1:33 PM

    congrats on all fronts, first nations. i hope everything continues to be uplifting for you.

  12. Mom, I am pretty sure we can adopt CB, I have heard of such things before. She is odd and wonderful enough to be in the fam, maybe only if she can handle beer bonging while discussing american politics and philosophy of the 20th century.

  13. The only way things could be better is if the Playboy's gentleman caller turned out to be your long-lost son...

  14. Holy cow! I am over here dancing and leaping in joy for you with kitties dancing and leaping and turtles looking on skeptically all for you with joy for you! HOORAY!!!

    Why can't there be hugs through the interwebs? I am hugging my monitor in excitement for you!

    SO glad about the new fam, the great playboy healthcare, the biker's brilliance and the SSA's nuptials. How can you contain yourself? YAY AND CONGRATULATIONS!

    P.S.: Now that I have seen a photo of the SSA and the lovely husband, I feel that she is far too young and pretty to be so smart. You done good, mama.

    P.P.S.: Some of your photos are back! Did you draw those aliens?

  15. violet: WELCOME BACK where you been chickie??? yeah, its a big celebration here! have a mai tai! how are YOU doing? is the job still....being the job?

    pink: i do too! thanks sweetie!

    SSA: we could do one of those ceremonies like they did in the movie 'Freaks' of us! one of us!

    footman: it's almost a letdown, isn't it? (you're batting them over the fences lately!)

    danator: oh, thank you!! now contain yourself; the cats are watching! think of the example you're setting. aliens? no. but theyre pretty cool.

  16. shit! I miss a post and look what happens! This is marvelous incrdibubble woondeful, all of it!

  17. FN, I've been to paradise but I've never been to me... until I started taking happy pills. I will get round to posting eventually, honest. Mmmm, mai tai.... the job may well still be doing its soul destroying thing but I wouldn't know as I have been off for a week with Winter Vomiting Virus! Huzzah!