Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Caillou Halloo! CAN YOU SEE IT NOW????

When last we met, our intrepid friend, the Baby Jesus (cleverly disguised as the ultra-aerodynamic Holy Infant of Prague) was searching far and wide for poor, lost Calliou!

Time was a commodity that none could waste! As the scope of the search grew ever larger, other fearless foes of felony joined forces!

The Friendly Infant of De Kalb!

The Cthulhu Infant of R'lyeh!

The Not Terribly Bright Infant of Shreveport!


Together, these intrepid exemplars of infancy ranged far and wide!
Their goal: to restore Caillou to the bosom of his family!


























Ha; see? You thought that was going to lead into something nasty with boobs in it, didn't you. Uh-huh. I know.
Oh, I know.
You people, I swear.


Sightings began to pour in from all over the map...
This Mexican hairless pig was too small



This image was faxed from Africa. Forensic examination of the image later disqualified it.







Another disqualified sighting, Bournemouth UK.



Yeah, y'all are SO easy. *snork*


A visit to this restaurant turned out to be simply another dead end...one with chicken and waffles on the menu and a bald cook with a prison record smoking cheap cigarettes in the greasy heat... while the eyeless white prarie dogs mocked and jeered relentlessly, teeming and seething in chittering hoardes between the blackened beams of the squalid kitchens walls...incessant, tortuous, maddening... like the white-hot, murdering heat of the merciless purple sun as it beat down upon the bleak and blasted poisonou

Ahem.

As seems to be inevitable in these cases the lunatic fringe turned up like a bad penny to have their say...








"He is in.....Detroit.
Oh yes, Detroit. He's in Detroit.
It's....Do I know why? Hell no I don't know why, what the...
There, now, see, now the spirits are pissed. You see what you did? Well that's it. I nearly found your pig but you just hadda go asking the spirits QUESTIONS."


*"DWAAAAAAYYYYYAYAYAYAYAYAYANGGGGGGGG! *

I AM THE LORD GOD OF METAL!

*WAWAWAWAWANGANGANGANGHANG! *

THE HIGH PRIEST OF FEEDBACK AND HEIROPHANT OF HEAVY METAL!!
I AM CHARMIN THE HALFELVEN! FEAR ME BITCHES!!!!!


Desperate times take desperate measures. Following a lead that twisted back into the the seamy side of the entertainment world, The Baby Jesus decided it was time to go deep undercover.
Suspicion had finally landed at the seedy doorstep of a possible lead...



...Mr. Swithers, owner of the haunted amusement park!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________________________


Friends, the theft of a pig is no laughing matter. I ask you; please...if you have Caillou, please return him unharmed. No questions will be asked, and no salesmen will visit your home.

21 comments:

  1. still looking eh? thats the shits... who the fuck steals a pig? got any college frat houses near by? train tracks? weird fucking neighbors? i mean really weird neighbors, not like yourselves of course.... stolen pig, its a mystery... anyhoo, wanna blt? im hungry....

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  2. He's obviously hiding with me, in disguise and under-cover as a cute wee kitty...

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  3. I cant see the godamm pictures yet

    ****dances about in frustration***

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  4. The greased Crisco Pig of Bournemouth!

    Everyone make a run for it!!

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  5. HA!

    I coveted the porker and snuck to the west coast to purloin the squealer.

    Unless my demands are met in full you will recieve the trotters delicately simmered in a wholesome broth with pearl barley and a light sprinkling of finely chopped parsley.

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  6. Well, your photos aren't showing for this post. I guess I'll come back later... in less clothing...

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  7. Dear God! I think Mr. Smithers was talking to me....how odd is that?
    FN, I have decided while in Mexico I will look around for the pig. It couldn't hurt.

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  8. That first picture made me giggle uncontrollable fro about 5 minutes.
    Thanks :)

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  9. Again no frickin pictures.
    What did you do to Mrs. Blogger anyway?

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  10. Boo!

    Hiss!

    Rhubarb!

    only the hippo and the last pic showing.

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  11. Yeah, I wanted to see the Mexican hairless pig picture too. FN good luck finding Caillou, he must be a whole bunch of spare ribs and chops by now.

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  12. EVERYONE:
    I FIGURED OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!!
    I've been saving these images to my computer before posting them,just to save wear and tear on other serverers. In the name of organization i decided to move all the images I'd used recently to another folder prior to dumping them after Blogger uploads them to picassa...and that was enough to change the addo and make them dissappear from the post.
    WHOOPS.

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  13. I can see it all now , in all its pictorial beauty , as nature intended.

    What a marvellous post.It is simply the best pig related post(featuring a flying infant deity) EVER.

    I have a yen for a bacon sandwich now
    ***heating frying pan****

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  14. Have you tried Porky's Diner?

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  15. I think I had Caillou for breakfast with my eggs. Sorry!

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  16. I think I shagged Caillou last night.

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  17. I CAN SEE
    IT's A MIRACLE I TELLS YA!
    Praise the lord and pass the ammunition.

    Wow some very disturbing images interspersed amongst really, really cute ones.

    Kreskin..isn't he Ralph Nader's running mate?
    I should say Ralph NADIR because he syphons all of those precious votes from Democrats..
    the stupid egomaniacal twat.
    America needs to boycott his bony ass.

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  18. huh, i never had a problem seeing the pictures... fucking blogger can chew my left toe... so did they find the piggy er what?

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  19. beast: well good. now unhand that pan!

    dinah: 'male chauvinist pig' is a different pig than 'vietnamese potbellied'.

    cecille: NO EATING THE PIG! THIS IS NOT AN EDIBLE PIG! this is a buddy pig!

    knudie: are you sure that was caillou? it could have been Arnold Ziffle.

    homoE: it'll take an act of prestidigitation to get anyone to take him seriously after last time.

    voices: you're still at the top of my list, dude. nice try though.

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  20. i never get away with anything.. *sniffles, hangs head and walks away*

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  21. *laughing very hard*

    oh my lord! what have you people been drinking/smoking?

    no seriously - i want to know. i'm bored.

    and while i have really weird neighbors (did i mention one has a monster hog the size of rhode island?), none of them have been seen having a barbeque recently.

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