Lenny and Curtis' search for meaning

One morning, sitting around the campfire making breakfast, Lenny and Curtis fell to discussing life, as one does out on the range.

"I should think that we are all just mindless mechanisms in a great, cosmic clock whirring meaninglessly down toward an inevitable and equally as pointless end," said Lenny.

"Now gol-durn it Lenny, that's just awful ding-danged cheerful at 6 of the mother fuckin A.M. Shee-oot. Iffen I wanted to listen to that dang danged kinda depressin hooraw I'd could just " At which point Lenny tuned Curtis completely out.


But Curtis could always tell when Lenny's thoughts were drifting. "Now just a gol-durned second Mr. Nihilism, I aint fooled for one got-damn minute by your act there. My viewpoints is jist as dang valid as yourn; I jist don't express m'self all purdy-like the way you does."
"Turn the shallot," said Lenny. "It's probably done."


Still, all through breakfast the debate raged. Finally Lenny declared " We must then simply take it upon ourselves to discover once and and for all time a meaning of life; or whether such even exists. A quest! A noble quest indeed!"

"Y know, sometimes when y go lookin fer your hearts desire yew dont need t go lookin any further than yer back door" said Curtis, out of frame. "Thats from that there Wizard of Oz movie. Whaddya suppose them'alluns meant by that? Some kinda gay stuff r whut?"


Unbeknownst to them their plans were being overheard and noted with care.


It was none other than that dastardly fiend THE GRAVY MASTER!



..and his poorly uplit sidekick BLUBBATOR!


With all due speed they hastened to the Gravy Masters secret high-tech lair! At their feet lay a strange device. What fiendish purpose had it been made to serve?



"Yes! Come my loveliest one! Step up upon the numeric platform and press your foul fin upon the ignition switch! Yes! Yes, make haste!" exclaimed the easily overexcited mage of mischief. "Quickly! If our dastardly desires are to be fulfilled!"


The deed was done! The air was filled with special effects and all jiggly lines and stuff!



Suddenly the image altered! The jiggly lines and lightening and crap was still there though! A sinister form took shape in their midst!



"My creation! My most prized creation! What a day for evil this is!" cackled the Gravy Master. "Step down my transmogrified pet, and take a look at the new you! Are you not perfect? Are you not the very face of all that is malign? Behold! You are-
WILL SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes....and as Will Smith you have the power to transform into any shape you wish! And do my bidding while I stay behind here in my Jeep! You are magnificent!
Now go forth....go forth and kill...

KILL.....

KILL!!!!!!!!"