I hope you didn't take that seriously because it was a joke! Ha ha!
Cows are good! Cows like people! Cows would never take someone hostage. Cows don't take hostages. No no no no no. Cows are harmless. Ignore the cows. If you see what looks like a cow driving a military vehicle down your street, it's probably Delta Burke. Not a cow. Go back to your video games. Ignore low flying aircraft. Ignore the pervasive smell of milk. It's nothing.
The cow is a gentle creature completely without malice. Cows do not have a supreme commander. Really they don't. Cows are not driven by the mandates of that supreme commander to rise up and overthrow the human opp
I need to go now.
UPDATE: seriously, there is no cause for alarm. everything is normal. lovely and normal, thats how everything is. there are no cows outside my window. there are no cows excavating passages beneath my house in the spider infested crawlspace. no, everything is calm. i am watching television. it is a show about painting colorfully. i do not hear the clanging of distant bells. no.
REALLY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG DO NOT LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOWS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO
update: they are trying to come through the walls now. i haven't uttered a word in several hours. i can hear them tunnelling. they have re-routed the powerlines to feed electricity to a huge bank of sodium lights they have erected across the street in the hay meadow. it has been hours since i heard a plane go over or a car pass on the street. i am afraid that