Monday, July 28, 2008

UPDATED: THE COWS H

im supposed to be getting a glass of water so i have to make this quick. the dcows are everywhere; they seem to have an agentda and they have surrounded the hosue. i have no idea what they want only that they th;sl['99999999999999

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I hope you didn't take that seriously because it was a joke! Ha ha!
Cows are good! Cows like people! Cows would never take someone hostage. Cows don't take hostages. No no no no no. Cows are harmless. Ignore the cows. If you see what looks like a cow driving a military vehicle down your street, it's probably Delta Burke. Not a cow. Go back to your video games. Ignore low flying aircraft. Ignore the pervasive smell of milk. It's nothing.

...they made me download this oh god someone help me please bef

The cow is a gentle creature completely without malice. Cows do not have a supreme commander. Really they don't. Cows are not driven by the mandates of that supreme commander to rise up and overthrow the human opp

ow

I need to go now.

UPDATE: seriously, there is no cause for alarm. everything is normal. lovely and normal, thats how everything is. there are no cows outside my window. there are no cows excavating passages beneath my house in the spider infested crawlspace. no, everything is calm. i am watching television. it is a show about painting colorfully. i do not hear the clanging of distant bells. no.

UPDATE:
REALLY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG DO NOT LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOWS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO


update: they are trying to come through the walls now. i haven't uttered a word in several hours. i can hear them tunnelling. they have re-routed the powerlines to feed electricity to a huge bank of sodium lights they have erected across the street in the hay meadow. it has been hours since i heard a plane go over or a car pass on the street. i am afraid that

15 comments:

  1. Cows are very stooopid, but not as stooopid as sheep (who deserve to be eaten).

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  2. I wonder if the Supreme Master has anything to do with this. I just ate at one of her restaurants.

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  3. Oh duh: Supreme Master

    http://www.godsdirectcontact.org/

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  4. You forgot to make sure that the first letter of every sentence spelled out a secret code. You're a crap hostage.

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  5. Yeah my secret decoder ring didn't get much out of that ramble, try again...over!!

    * Stretches virtuously, sneaks sip of coffee, winces at fake cream*

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  6. Are you lactating?

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  7. Does the dugong exhibit malice?

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  8. Cows dont scare me
    Stoopid cows
    ***struts with red matador cape***

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  9. Just think of cows as large non-flying bumble bees with udders. There, that should sooth you. They're not plotting. They're pollinating.

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  10. what you need is a nice little cutting horse to put those cows back in their subservient places. I agree with garfer, cows are stooooopid. they may as well say baaa instead of moooo.

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  11. Rescue missions are underway. Yoda and me are cooking up something awesome.

    Do not respond to this message....they'll know...can they read? Oh shit...

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  12. garfer! there are dangerous, smart sheep! they teach others to fly...just think of the enormous financial profits to be made...baahbaahbaaah (does palin/cleese hoppy flying sheep dance)

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  13. SSA: i hope you're wearing a bra.

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  14. I hope there are no bulls...

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  15. moooooo....





    mooooooooo....






    mmmmoooooooooo........

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