Monday, June 12, 2006

questions

note: the urgent appeal that appeared here but a few moments ago has magically become a non-issue.! and speaking of rectification, see the following below.
*ahem* as it were.



1. Who and or what is Donny Rumbelow? And why does CrustyBaker think he/she/looks like a villain from the year 2000? This is messing with me. I looked all over the Web and I can't find it/ him/they anywhere.
2. Fist fucking: how is it humanly possible for one average-sized male to accept another average male's clenched fist and forearm ALL THE WAY UP TO THE ELBOW? (give me your email and I will sidebar you the site.*) Normal physiology would seem to preclude this, yet there it is. And it doesn't seem to be photoshopped either. I can't help but think' if that guy had a coronary right now, he could receive cardiac massage internally'. At least thats how it looks.
3. Does anyone have a Dyson vaccuum cleaner? If so, how are you liking it? Are there issues with things getting pulled past the collection chamber and getting stuck in the fan?
4.What exactly were silos used to store? grain? hay? sileage? sea monkeys? It looks like a pretty inefficient way to store plant material; seems like it would turn into a big pillar of seeping ick. Although most of the ones I see anymore are no longer in use...didn't you always think, when you were a kid, 'that would make an excellent house!'
5. Gay women and chubby bears: when you are slow dancing, and you are the same height as your partner, where do the boobs go? Do you sort of dovetail them(which makes you face a funny direction and gets uncomfortably hot...also a certain danger of someone getting a nipple tweaked in a sticky armpit-ew) or dance tit to tit (which makes you hold each other at arms length depending on the amount of boobage) or do you just wait out the slow ones? Or mosh to every song and to hell with it?
6. Ok. Now, using a flat chair, a tape measure I dug out of my purse and the questing spirit of the early scientific pioneers, I determined that the distance from my *ahem* solemn mystical egress to the center of my sternum is 14 inches, subtracting 2 inches from the total for compressed butt flub. From the inside of my elbow to the top of my curled fist is 11 1/2 inches, flub included. The human heart varies anywhere from three to five inches in length. Any way you look at it, there's a whole new insight into the figure of speech 'warming the cockles of my heart'.
Presuming this ('opera length' fist fucking) really happens, then, wouldn't your insides eventually come unmoored?

I had to have suspension piercing explained to me a number of times before I got it, too.


these are real questions. if you don't believe me, just visit the stainless steel amazon and ask her (link from: neurotica). she'll be mortified.



*unless i have reason to believe that you are underage. then i will laugh! and I will say in your face 'Ha ha! you bad faker person who has tried to trick me into giving you the address to a naughty bottom sex site! go ask your mother!'

29 comments:

  1. Cute it be? I AM FIRST!!!!! HAH!

    Ok... don't know the logistics of fist fucking but do know that any hand, male or female can be used and that vaginas are also accepted as an orifice of choice...

    Dysons... YES!!! I have one... I LOVE it! I want 10 MORE LIKE IT! It will suck everything and its grandmother up and after years of use does not lose suction power... I would recommend simply getting an extra filter so that when one has been washed and is drying the other one can be used. And forgo the motorized head. You don't need it. If you are iffy about dirt (which I am but then I am one of those girly pisces who has tomboy inside her... don't ask!) then the fact that it has no bags is kind of a bitch but ultimately practical and contributes to the better functioning of the Dyson... plus it one best design from all the modern design mags and the like... for one who is not housewife-ish a Dyson would be a great gift anytime! All hail the Dyson!

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  2. Damn... supposed to be "could" it be!!!

    "it one" = "it won"

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  3. FN , I used to have two dysons , an upstairs one , a downstairs one.(Dont ask)
    Then Mr C and frobisher pinched one of them and have been holding it to ransome ever since.
    Its a beast kinda vacuum , I got the turbo head for the carpets upstairs as MR C and his dogs shed more hair than seems possible.
    Fist Fuckin......WHY ?
    Why would anyone want to do that , its not the first thing that occurs to you when there is nothin on the telly.

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  4. 1. no idea
    2. i don't think it's possible. fisting, yes, but all the way up to the elbow? that would be geometrically equivalent to fucking a horse, and people have died trying that. (not just Cate the Great, either.)
    3. nope. a Henry. it's crap.
    4. I'm from the midwest, so i am extremely embarassed to admit that i don't know for certain, but i always thought it was grain. wheat, rye, that sort of thing.
    5. dove tail.
    6. you have a tape measure in your purse? i love you.

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  5. 1. Donny Rumbelow...he's er that guy...oh you know. (no I haven't a clue either)

    2. Refusing to even think about this one.

    3. Warned off buying a Dyson by my mum, my grandma and my cousin - as their models keep breaking down. In a last desperate attempt to find a decent hoover (the grail quest had nothing on this)I finally subscribed to Which online and bought the one that came out top in their report - a Miele. It's brilliant.
    (BTW CB. Good trick I learnt through years of having crap vacuums is that you can "shoe" the carpet with a trainer. Just pull your feet across the floor - it gets all the muck up. If you're being especially houseproud or you want an upper body work out then you can put a trainer on each hand and then pull them across the floor - how sad a housewife am I?)

    4. Grain. (I think) and yes I did.

    5. Haven't a clue.

    6. Too much maths for this time of the morning.

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  6. 1. Pass
    2. I've seen this in movies (not mine gov) so it must be true. Seem to remember a photographer (cica 1990) producing a collection of such images - Who and Why? I don't know!
    3. An Electrolux rip off, that until recently had never had a filter or fan belt changed and now works proper like and has stopped screaming like an unwilling fisting receiver.
    4. Grain and such - very dangerous cos where I be from many a teenage work experience drowned in em - oooh aarr!
    5. Nasty nasty image. Reminds me of a colonoscopy I once had (not pleasant) and I didn't see any room for limbs. I'm kinda curious about your source though.

    Will you explain suspension piercing to me too?

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  7. Oh God! You guys don't wanna know about suspension piercing! They did it at my piercing salon back in San Francisco... didn't even peak in but I did see, in my human sexuality class, a piercing of a penis head... well, until I hid with a friend of mine... too gruesome!

    Dyson's keep breaking down? Never heard of that! I don't have an upright one though... I have the European model... and it works brilliantly! I seriously would fight any and all to a bloody death were they to try to take it from me!

    As for fist fucking... not as gruesome a sight as bestiality! We had the choice to not see that video in my human sexuality class in SF... I truly had no idea what I was getting myself into... it was beyond sick and seriously traumatizing... now anything else is just child's play compared to that! SICK FO' SHO'!

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  8. I have no idea on any answers but 5. And this is as a woman with her own straight and chubby bear. We just smoosh 'em, but I think for the bears and for me, the belly on the men acts as a good barrier between the boobs anyway. I imagine it would be a bigger problem for thin lesbians with big breasts.

    Oh, but for 2, the fisting. I dunno how, or why. But the most disturbing thing I've ever seen was a man shove his entire head into a vagina. A grown man. Disturbing. I also believe it was real.

    Oh and my mom had a Rainbow vacuum cleaner, still does. It's awesome but you have to dump the water in the resevoir afterwards, which can be gross or entirely awesome depending on your view. I always found it very satisfying to see the dirt that used to hang out in my carpet.

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  9. mizB: oh far out! im seriously thinking of getting one. i think they should pay you for your endorsement.
    beast: two votes for the dyson! we have actual topsoil issues here, what with this being farm country and all.
    cb: 2. i saw that video. the guy was from washington. here. well, enumclaw, right down I-5. geeeegh.
    5. thats what i always did too, but it was a little awkward
    6. absolutely necessary, like altoids and quarters.
    hendrix: oo, one down on the dyson. hell, ive done the carpet with a broom when i had no other option. good one with the shoe. you know the trick for spilled weed, with the staticky balloon? yeah.
    hardhouse: 2.first time i saw it was back in the seventies. i was a hotel maid. people would check in for a wank weekend, then leave their literature. all we maids would get quite an education!
    4. oh dang. how awful.
    mizB2: someone call the dyson corp. and cut this woman a check!i'm not judging here AT ALL. honestly. i am just curious how the human body can accomodate something that size without it rupturing a few vitals. but beastiality; yeah. that guy in enumclaw...dang.

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  10. Donny Rumbelow is a second hand car dealer from Benfleet.
    Lawks, don't you lot know anything?

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  11. 1. Never heard of him.
    2. Tee Hee, yes it is possible (but not to elbow) i knew a girl called Cindy whose bf fisted her, he left his ring on which scratched her inside and her fou-fou swelled up like a balloon.
    3. I know nothing about Dysons, only that Beast has a fetish for them.
    4. Grain.
    5. I know bears mould together like Blu-tack, lubricated by sweat.

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  12. 3. I didn't get a Dyson either, warned off by friends who have one and Consumer Reports.

    6. Partner won't dance with me as she is extremely self-conscious (sigh), so alas, I cannot tell you.

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  13. Ha, ha, haaaa! Am I sounding like an endorser of fisting? Mon Dieu! Not for me gracias! And yes, I would wonder the very same thing too! ;-)

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  14. christine: you snook in under the wire there. rainbow, huh? iiiiiinteresting. hmmmm. yeah, i have a chubber bear too, and that tum comes in handy.
    ara: no. i don't. who are you?
    frobi: FINALLY a straight answer.
    that kinda came out wrong.
    thank you, anyway! *curtseys deeply, knocks forehead to floor three times, salutes with both hands*
    whinger: and the dyson takes another hit! ok. you know, the boob question must be solved. someone needs to apply for a research grant or something.
    mizB3: no, you sound like an employee of dyson! or you should be...in any event its certain you're a woman who had bonded deeply with her vaccuum cleaner, and i honor that.

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  15. my dyson sucked (but not in a good way..avoid!! avoid!!), my chubby bear is taller than me so his moobs sit beautifully on my sagging rack....um, fisting link please (email addy is on my profile)...um, what was the question?

    ahem.

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  16. I've read your comments over at Garfers for months now. I have a question for you. Is your tattoo picture your tatt or one you found on the net? Just curious.

    Hand screwing sounds painful and not a delightful activity.

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  17. surly: and you cast the deciding vote. i know you like your hoovering. roger wilco on the addo.
    mhn: welcome welcome!
    no, that sad thing resides on some other goobers' skin. it's betty page snuggling up to a corndog, btw.
    is your avatar YOUR tattoo? too?
    fisting: all things are possible with lard and an agreeble prostate, or so i am lead to believe.

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  18. In answer to your question..
    clash of cymbals...."I am the God of Fire and I bring you...."
    Oh but I'm too, too poorly to be prancing around.

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  19. I swear to god, I will send RQ to shit on your pillow and stick army men's heads in it for sending Fisting questions my way. YOUR UPPANCE WILL COME, WOMAN.

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  20. 1. No idea. Do they put his fizz on cakes now?

    2. . . .WHY??? WHY??? WHO THE HELL? I mean, no. I don't know. *ahem*

    3. I have a Dyson. It's my mum's baby and she's paranoid about bugs in the carpet... It sucks dirt and look Maw, all tidy! So yea...

    4. Grain I would have thought... Why, we do not know...

    5. Depends on the size. I know lesbians who are pretty happy about just smooshing. Others make room... Some how.

    6. I... Have no words.

    Is that what your tat is? I thought it was something swish like a pole-dancing Red Indian. I was wrong.

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  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  22. Curiosity pricked, so to speak, I've just tried to fist myself. Only managed to get half of my little finger in, which was strangely pleasant, but hardly conclusive.

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  23. Hello. Well...

    1. No idea - I'm with Arabella on that one
    2. Feel a little nauseous at the thought but I got the impression that with enough 'lube' a little can go a long way so to speak - ahem
    3. No and everyone I know who has says they are crap
    4.Grain - although silo's would be much more fun if they were full of sea monkeys. Aside: what actually are sea monkeys? they never look like they do on the front of the packet. So unfair.
    5.If it were me I would say that whoever has the biggest boobs then they go on the bottom and the smaller ones rest ontop?
    6. Don't know - what's suspensoin piercing - sounds a bit painful.

    Oh and as for man's head up poor ladies poomie - don't be so ridiculous!

    Ta ta x

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  24. 2. Perhaps I should conduct an experiment. Any volunteers? We could take turns? Would ya send me the link too - email on prof

    Missed number 5 last time
    5. The only lesbian couple I know that dance together are both flat chested so boobage is not an issue. As for bears - Pass!

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  25. My fist is now in my mouth (not up my backside!) as I just googled suspension piercing. Aaagghhh!

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  26. ara: oh, go back to bed. you're running a fever. too much chocolate and relaxing.XO
    neur: i thought all they'd ask you is whether or not i was zoomin folks, and you could tell them the story about the metal measuring cups for bird helmets thing.
    noshit: well if they dont know who this guy is in new zealand then the fucker obviously is MADE UP. i am BUMMED OUT.
    bf: see? you tried something new. and just think...it was all because of me. thanks. um. yeah.
    rockmother: welcome! yeah, its totally unfair...they dont wear little crowns or carry tridents or anything. they're dehydrated sand shrimp. burn.
    hardhouse: this is just bugging the heck out of you, isnt it? join the club.
    bears: shade in the summer, heat in the winter. bears rooooool.
    rm2: oh hell yeah. apparently they got the idea from the n.a. sun ceremony. so will i be trying it any time soon? DOOOOOOOOOOOOON'T think so. pain may lead to a higher state, but so do class a narcotics; and they dont leave stretch marks.

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  27. Truly these are important questions...ones I myself have wondered from time-to-time...where do the tits go?

    That damn dysan gadget bugs the shit right outta me...I'm a dirty devil...I mean to say Dirt Devil lover all the way....but only beacause the guy in the video bugs me.

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  28. Yes ma'am, it is. i love it and can't wait to get another. :-D

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  29. Holy Crap! I just looked up suspension piercings too. Ouch! Fuck no!!!

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