Friday, August 18, 2006

and again UPDATED: Emerald Green Mammoth Global Freezing Plan

Question time!

Without the small handfull of pills I take every day, I would be dead in 2 months, on the outside. Dead as a brick. Gone.

Of course, that ain't gonna happen. Come Armageddon, when the Canadians start pouring across the border brandishing their gouda, you better believe I'll have already taken up my rifle and loaded my truck up down at the local pharmacy. (Oh for heavens' sake, yes, I'm premenstrual.)

Then I got thinking about what I'd do come the revolution. Seems like you'd want to stockpile gasoline, guns, ammunition and any and all kinds of drugs you could get your hands on, right? That's what the 'new money' would be. I might be thinking in 1970's terms, of course, which is the last time I in indulged in this kind of speculation (one of those real 'deep' stoner conversations, you know.) Maybe these days the list has changed.

Has it?

oo, i just thought of one....yeast.
to make booze with.
what, me farm? *snerk* yeah.

28 comments:

  1. YAY I AM FIRST
    Toilet paper....
    Chocolate
    Condoms
    Mashed potatoe granules
    Tins of baked beans (you can fart nastily at the invaders).
    I reckon the new currency will be disposable diapers.....they just cant live without em.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wait, Armageddon = Canadians + gouda? Where can I sign up?

    I wonder if it'd be more Mad Maxian, with generators and fuel being the major currency, and Mel Gibson running over the Jews with his supercar.

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  3. P.S. I still think styling gel would be in high demand.

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  4. Lap-tops. The bloggers would die crying without access.

    Cress. Nice with egg.

    I would like some cheese as well.

    Where we used to live, there were always floods and these 'flood warning' sirens would go off. When I was about 11, one went off and I didn't know what it was. I thought Armageddon had come. I grabbed my brother by his hair and took him into the kitchen. We filled up loads of buckets of water and hid in the cupboard. I think I took some baked beans too. I've never been so scared in my life.

    (Actually I was 28.)

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  5. Anonymous11:59 AM

    gasoline,
    guns,
    ammunition
    any and all kinds of drug

    Mobile phone top up cards would definitely be at a premium so I'll add those.

    Oh and my personal list would include
    toothbrush
    Bowie knife
    string
    gaffa tape

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  6. He He He but I would have all the toilet paper .........***evil Grin****

    ReplyDelete
  7. What? I want to share the toilet paper Beast... I'm not using newspaper. Mind you... Then I could really show them what I think...
    How are you? I don't really know since you stopped visiting my blog.
    No Blog-Whore! Put that dress on and the red light. You are not done till I say *whip crack, sound of weeping Blog-Whore*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1:24 AM

    Erm .. what beast said.

    Oh, and with Firefox, the browser is great, and there are loads of free plugins for all kinds of things. They're all free, they don't give you any popups or ads or any shit like that, and the whole thing is more secure than Micro$oft's ageing browser.

    A good guide for using hotmail. Here goes:

    Step 1. Ditch your hotmail account in favour of a gmail one.

    That's it. Nothing more to add there.

    Most techie terms can be deciphered by judicious use of wikipedia, I find.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2:16 AM

    I was very careful to add the words would include on my list.

    Anyway. Firefox. What Genny said. Firefox is way better than IE. Hotmail I don't know about as I never use it but gmail is good.

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  10. WTF is G Mail....is that like the gspot beloved of cosmo magazine.Send mail and have an orgasm at the same time.....sounds great.
    No shit and qenny , the toilet paper is all mine.....it will cost you all dearly
    Mwha ha ha ha ha

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  11. Food. Dried food. Lots of pasta and pesto.

    (I have absolutely no idea what friefox is.)

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  12. "WTF is G Mail....is that like the gspot beloved of cosmo magazine.Send mail and have an orgasm at the same time.....sounds great."

    You have to be recommended to get a G-mail account.

    Now I know why.

    ReplyDelete
  13. are we still compiling the list?

    vodka
    haribo sour mix

    that is all.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I avoided gmail because I didn't like the organization of the beta version, or the fact that they could highlight words in your email and make them 3rd-party links automatically.

    I like Firefox, but I'm too damn lazy to change until it's absolutely necessary.

    Did I mention I was one of the last to switch from LP to CD because it was too much of a pain and I feared the CD's digital sound? And I was still listening to an 8-track in 1987?

    Anyway, I think clean water will be at a premium, so I lay claim to the entire Brita warehouse.

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  15. Oh well if you have to get reccomended , thats me stuffed then
    Feck
    and
    Bollox.

    and powdered egg , and powdered milk.
    I still have all the toilet paper...start begging people

    ReplyDelete
  16. beast - i can invite you to join if you want? my gmail address is in my profile (mail me there and i can invite you by return), and i find that gmail rocks.

    i claim toilet paper privileges though.

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  17. I can't imagine the Canadians being belligerent. Then again, they play ice hockey.

    Pot noodle, John Lee Hooker, and a pump action shotgun.

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  18. EVERYONE:
    I think y'all better stick with me.
    garfer bags the coveted 'First officer par excellance for life' spot since he was the only one to point out we needed some decent tunes.
    the rest of you, take turns at the battlements. if you need me i'll be in the jacuzzi.
    Beast, get on the treadmill.

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  19. Like what do I have to do with battlements? Look I brought the tunes cause no revolution is complete without...MC5 Kick Out the Jams - that one's for you Pete.

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  20. OH MY is this a post the Loverboy needs to read and comment on! When we lived in SF his excuse was "terror target" and now that we are in southern Spain, on the Mediterranean, well, Arab countries are right across the sea from us and this is a hot entry point into Spain and sooo...

    ... astronaut food packets, solar-powered everything (from flahslights to radios to god knows what), gas masks (yes, I SAID GAS MASKS!), an ozone water purifier... and there is more but I was not paying attention as I panicked when I heard rifle... yep, got that too!

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  21. mmmmmm chicken and mushroom pot noodle.
    Awww ta surly , I will stick with hotmail at the moment it took my little white haired old ma about three years to find me on that (like I gave her the address and showed the silly old bat how to use it 4 million times- pffft silver surfers) , If I move now all hell will break loose)

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  22. I'd love to have a gun :)

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  23. Some good stuff here to add to our '72 Hour Emergency Earthquake Disaster Kit'.
    When I get around to making one. And tying it to the leg of the bed, like Mayor Newsome says I gotta.

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  24. miz bohemia, I live in Brooklyn, "where the weak are killed and eaten". Tell Loverboy real men (and some women) don't need all those gewgaws. They can deflect bullets, poison gasses and radiation with their giant, steel-hard balls.

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  25. danator: none of which means jack shit to a harley owner. we kill and eat whatever we can get our hands on with impunity.

    we get hungry a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Did I mention that in my neighbourhood, "the weak" are mostly bagels, burritos and mocha lattes?

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  27. I love your PMS posts...they crack me up.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous3:53 AM

    My iPhone got water damage, but I still have the contract. I don't think I'm interested in getting an iPhone 3G because the monthly bill is 15 dollars higher and doesn't include text messages.



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    ReplyDelete