(not to be confused with Cultural Snow, which does not glow and has no detectable aroma)
Well, I done did something with my collection. Parts of it, anyway. I can't help but think of all the fun I could have with these images and a really rooty-zooty graphics program. Images from the 50's and 60's in particular practically beg to be pilloried like this.
Yes, click for bigness. Don't ask too much of these; just getting them to this place almost made my computer burst into flames. Not to mention my brain.
AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST.......
...Any of you younger ladies who have any doubts as to the way things used to be for women...? Lose them now.
Feminism exists for a VERY GOOD REASON.
I have a hundred ads just as twisted as this one...and all of them came from magazines your mother or grandmother thought nothing of leaving out on the coffee table. I remember these days. THIS is the kind of shit that used to saturate popular culture. And remember; popular culture is conservative by it's very definition. Extrapolate from that what went on in everyday life, my darlings.
Rant over.
_____________________________________
CONFIDENTIAL FOR TIM FOOTMAN:
hahahahahahaha...monsters...toilet...bwahahahaha
ReplyDeletewow, thanks for the tip! i'd been wondering why the sex life between me and the Pirate has been flagging, but now i know it's because he's grossed out at the idea of sticking his lovely firm cock in my stanky, germy cooch, AND that my subconscious awareness and shame of my fetit, infested, petri dish of a pussy has led me to emotionally sabotage our relationship. and such a simple solution!
ReplyDelete*sprays pussy with Lysol disinfectant hospital industrail cleaner*
OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
the things we do for love...
w2: why are you laughing? it's TRUE!
ReplyDeletecb: remember...the only thing stronger than true love is a stanky cooter! and the only thing strong enough to combat the foetid stench of a stanky cooter is the same thing mechanics use to clean out the grease pit: CONCENTRATED PINE SCENTED AMMONIA!
honest to snot; is it any wonder that generation had to have their insides replaced with a bag and a hose by the time they were 50? can you say 'prolapse'? hell, can you say 'pinata'?
I'm wondering if there's some way I could use Lysol to restore my husband's daintiness. Now THAT would be a gift that keeps on giving!
ReplyDeleteDo we have to talk about "Lady Gardens"?
ReplyDeleteI came by because I thought Beast might have left a comment...not still under the house with Bowser, is he?
ReplyDeleteI've now just got a whole new set of neuroses and inhibitions. My therapist thanks you!
ReplyDeleteI'm off to burn my bra.
ReplyDeleteAlright, alright, I needed a new one, anyway.
Now I know how to find a husband - SOAP!!!!
ReplyDeleteGosh - it's that easy.
I'm disinfecting as you read this.
ReplyDeleteI feel dainty, oh so dainty! Oy vey!
ReplyDeleteMaybe iffin I had a loveable bra my marriage wouldn't be shot to shit.
ReplyDeleteBut then again, I'd be subhuman and reduced to pressing clothes and answering the door with "Honey, may I wash you feet?"
That is sooo not me.
I don't do feet.
Unless you do mine.
And that would warrant a prize all its on, as my feet have been likened to those of a gargoyles.
Very funny but you have to see the serious side. This shit was everywhere and as a result the interpellation of young women held back feminist movements.
ReplyDeleteRock on FN and Marxist feminism!!
*prints off Lysol order form*
Ya think it's still available for male dainty allure?
bugger and all i've got here is the neatsfoot oil - d'you think that would do at a pinch?
ReplyDeletealso off to buy one of those spencer bras - they look the biz!
kristy:i think a pair of 'hello kitty' boxer shorts might be more humane.
ReplyDeletefrobi: yes. yes,we do. LADY GARDENS.
dinah: i thought i heard something thumping around under there earlier..
hendrix: ..and i bet your strapless bra doesn't fit like the paper on the wall, either. ha.
fatty: i will, at great personal cost, not submit to the temptation of the 'burning+bra+brazier+brassierre continuum.
spin: you see what you can learn here at Rancho FirstNations?
mj: tmi. really. really really. tmi.
g:boggles the mind, doesn't it?
awaiting: baptist, huh? i always wondered about you baptists and your foot washing ways. kinda too into the whole 'foot' thing i say.
hardhouse: it wasn't involuntary..that interpellation was enforced, is the dealio. (excellent point and sadly all too true.)
ziggi: freddie is not going to like that very much.
Feminine 'daintiness' he he he he he.
ReplyDeleteI was going to have kippers for breakfast , but strangley I have gone right off them
You've Come A Long Way BABY!
ReplyDeleteIf Aliens were to try to extrapolate the epicentre of our culture from these ads they would have to conclude that getting the right bra is the key to happypenis.
Whew! and here I thought that I was weird.
The Lysol thing is a spoof right? Who would want a snatch that smelt like drains?
ReplyDeleteMy fave was the TOASTIMONIAL ...
homoE: the ads by themselves are kind of grim and scary. i dunno about the a'penis, but you would have unassailable breastworks.
ReplyDeletemuttley: oh no, my darling, that was entirely untouched, right out of the pages of Hollywood Mirror.
i've often wondered....
ReplyDeleteHybrids! I haven't been able to make them work yet... can you direct me to Beast?
ReplyDeleteCashmere Bouquet! Still the choice of low-rate hotels everywhere!
Oh, and FYI, I once got second and third degree chemical burns on my face from an accident involving Lysol. I don't want to imagine what it'd do to one's cooter...
lysol? on a person's foo foo????
ReplyDeletegood lord.
Ye Gods.
ReplyDelete