Rock Mother has tagged me for a couple of memes now, and I forgot to do them, so when I saw this one on her (excellent) site I janked it.
Sorry I haven't been my usual hyperactive blogging and commenting self, but I've been sick. AGAIN. 24hr. flu bug this time. Lots of BUAAAK! HOOAHGHSPTPPLAT! BUAAARGHAK! and so forth. let me tell you what, I am awfully goddamn tired of being sick all the fucking time. Pfft; same shit, different day. At least it was raining.
So. Meme.
1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT.
Right across the pit of my throat I have a barely noticeable mark. Of ourse I notice it and to me it looks all bizzarre and sunken and scrotum-y. I had Graves disease and the thyroid gland had to be removed. If you ever want to lose 20 lbs fast, I highly recommend Graves Disease, although otherwise it sucked deep-fried doggie squattos. You get hypersensitive to cold and cannot abide even a slight breeze-it hurts! You itch like blazes. You can't descend even a short staircase because your joints are protesting every inch of the way.
Anyway. The doctor was a plastic surgeon, though, and did a fantastic job. Anyone else but me wouldn't even notice.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Art. Lots of art. Some of my art, some prints, some vintage signs. Can't stand bare walls. Which is kind of counterindicated in a minimalist.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Maroon Princess Landline in the front room and an oldschool Sony multifunction office model in the kitchen. I will not have a cellphone. We have one for travelling during emergencies, and I use it with all the enthusiasm of acondemned person sitting down to a tuna casserole with peas in it.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Ancient, classical, blues, all blues, Delta blues, jazz, alternative, Deep Blues, anything played by Glenn Gould, project Ars Nova, big band, 60's Motown, soul, R&B.
Nothing yodelly.
5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
My grandson scratching his butt.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Not. To. Be. Sick. AGAIN. EVER. And there's very goddamn little chance of that since my lungs are toast.
7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
Absolutely. I don't believe in marriage in general, is the thing.
8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
9:am. Twas a lovely spring morning.
9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
I have no idea. If they're both alive, and Johnny Walker is still commonly available, probably yes.
10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Myself type, and the local news on television in the background. Farm equipment going past, nesting robins.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
Very, very rarely, if I'm tired.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Was a dog. Poor old taterman. I miss my Opie.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Essential oils, please. Patchouli on me...jasmine is also good. There used to be a mens' cologne called 'Chaz' that had the power to make me follow the guy wearing it down the street.
Note: MEN! NEVER WEAR THE SAME AFTERSHAVE AS YOUR PARTNERS' FATHER! Because that's just GROSS.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Now this is just a goofyass question.
15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
Oh hell yeah. My all-time favorite is sodium pentathol. Running a close second is whatever they gave me the last time I had my sinuses operated on. Oh my gracious YES. Valium is nice. The opiates, not so much.
16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Goodness no. Nothing ventured nothing gained. People love it.
17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
LOTS. With thick red sauce.
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Nothing - I'm sick as a dog.
19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
BUSH KEEPS ME IN A CONSTANT STATE OF PISSED. other than that...? probably someone out on the road with a cellphone stuck in their ear.
UPDATE: OK, obviously I read that as 'made ME mad'. Fine. I have germs. Cry me a river. So. Last person I made mad? Probably the Stainless Steel Amazon. When she reads this she'll be pissed off at me AGAIN, making me right, only in the future. Which may be the past by the time she reads this AND by the time you read this too. Which still makes me right.
I realize this isnt' fair, but it's easy.
20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Yes. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Although that's probably more of a mental health issue on both our parts.
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oh. But i like tuna casserole with peas. It's all so 'Welcome Back Kotter'.
ReplyDeleteOoh! My friend Dawn had a thyroid op, and while the scar was still (barely) visible, a little boy asked 'Mum? Did that lady commit suicide?'
ReplyDeletemmmm tuna casserole...with peas...my housemate will kill me if I make that for dinner (but I just might, anyway).
ReplyDeleteFlea? really? Is he the father of your child?
Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly. I just kicked a cold and was welcomed back to health with a cold sore on my lip. (Although it keeps me from having to return any favors around here...so maybe I should stop dissing the herp so much.)
ReplyDeleteAlso! My sister has a similar scar from having a goiter removed. It's very Victorian of her. Really it was quite small but she was 12 and a doctor got it into my mother's head that it might be cancer...so she went under the knife. Doctors are idiots.
are you going to post the recipe for tuna and peas - sounds like something I make by mistake :o)
ReplyDeleteand how can you possibly live a full life without a cellphone - teenagers o'er here only communicate with each other (and their mother) via text messages. If I didn't have mine I would never hear from my children again.
thinks . . .
oh yes, ooops sorry meant to say I hope you're feeling better!
ReplyDeleteclaire: ak! with the noodles? and the fried onion fragments all over the top? ak!
ReplyDeletemang: for the first week afterwards that's just what i looked like...with a chainsaw no less.
w2: but fish has a face! i thought you were a vegetarian. oh well, i guess it's not a cute face. and no, sadly, he is not the SSA's biofather. fuck , i wish.
christine: oh hell yeah, back then they always had the knives out. i may be the only kid to escape the 60's with my tonsils.
ziggi: i just don't like them. they don't look like a phone and they don't feel like a phone, there's no cord to doodle with and i fear and loathe the though of being that accessible./and thank you, my dear. i am now enjoying the fever and mild hallucinations portion of the 24hr. flu. which in my case has extended to 48hrs.
You thought 14 was goofy but answered 3? You are wierd.
ReplyDeleteMy tuna casserole has peas in and it's deLISCious! Any condemned person would be delighted to partake of it.
ziggi: diggin' the new avatar.
Sorry about your 'flu.But I'm glad there are at least 3 of us on the planet without bloody yuppy phones.
ReplyDeleteLittle riddle to cheer you:Q what would you most like to give Dubya?
A a conscience.
I am in love with you Ms FN!
ReplyDeletescar - i have a feather shaped scar on my right upper thigh. got too close to a motorcycle as a child. cell phone is - black and silver. the kind i have didn't come in pink. i believe all marraige should be happy, i don't remember what time i was born, listening to money can't buy it by annie lennox and amazing by aerosmith, colone - black raspberry vanilla body splash by bath and body works, and everyone is in love with me. i'm a lovely person.
ReplyDeleteI make AWESOME tuna casserole with peas!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd the only reason I am mad is you think Flea is in love with YOU. Well I got news for you, bubbe, there is someone out in MY bushes and it's not Beck or Martha Stewart, so that leaves WHO?! Thaaaaaat's right.
Gooneybird is enthusiastically washing dishes with P.B. as we speak. Yessss. I am enjoying it while I can.
cb: weird? what, you just figured that out? honey, i have suffered the torments of the damned at the table set with TUNA hell. overcooked, cottony canned tuna...bloated peas like the drowned corpses of green oompaloompas, the horror of campbells cream of mushroom soup, undilute, puddles of margarine, and lets not forget the tallowy fried strangeness that is Frenchs' onion thingies in a paper can.
ReplyDeletewow.
i must have been really scarred by this shit, huh.
dinah: luddites unite!-what i'd nmost like to give him is a one way trip to the moon in a paper boat.
muttley: you and Flea, then. pistols at dawn in the hayfield across the street. watch out for possums.
pink: everyone except muttley. he's all mine, apparently. mine and every other broad commenting on his blog. well; he's a dog. whaddya want?
SSA: oh I DON'T THINK SO. he and jimmy page are having a big slap fight out in the soccer field even as we speak and jimmy is crying. OVER ME. well, jimmy wants me to come back for the reunion tour. flea just wants ME.and really, who can blame him?
Harlot......its me in you bushes , just moochin around ,
ReplyDeleteMutley you slapper , you said you only loved me !!!
FN I hope you feel better soon , but tuna casserole is enough to make anyone sick....yuk
I am intrigued by tuna casserole - do you use tinned tuna? the fresh stuff is so expensive in the UK. please post recipe.
ReplyDeleteAOK4U2?
I used to wear Patchouli sometimes - you old hippy, I used to like coconut essential oil as well.
So you're saying you would choose Jimmy Page over Robert Plant?
ReplyDeletebeast: tuna casserole is a fiendish casserole. and thank you, i feel better today.
ReplyDeletefrobi: ew, no. why would i do that to someone i like? it's horrible. (cocoanut? you yummy ol' thang!)
mj: girls arent supposed to choose.
I have a scar over my top lip from stopping a hockey puck, Pictures of People, my phone looks lonely, Abba to Zappa, win the lotto, my desktop usually has Artwork featuring Prehistoric Animals, I support Gay Rights.
ReplyDeleteBorn 1000 years too soon, Dad died when I was 22, birds and my stomach, terrified of the dark, Bruce Willis in Armaggeddon, Evening in Detroit.
I like clean hair and bright eyes, avoid painkillers except Rye, not shy just married, extra cheese, steak & lobster, me, Salma Hayek Monica Belluci and Greta Scacchi!
You haven't tagged anyone. Can I play Please, please?
ReplyDeleteOh and i'm glead to hear it's just infections and nothing cronic.
ReplyDeletechaz?
ReplyDeleteCHAZ?
oh tee hee
;0p
Your Firstness - Ackhalak! Tuna casserole - can only eat tuna cold - hot tuna - blaeaugh. Don't mind the peas though.
ReplyDeleteEssential oils are good - I survive on Lavender, Rosemary and Geraniun and Cedar. I love the smell of jasmine but I can't wear it. I went through a phase of putting it on my pillow at night and had the most violent, terrifying nightmares that stayed with me all day. It was really bad.
Not good that you are ill again. I don't want you to be ill again - ever ever ever and I will will it so!
Thanks for the plug xxx