Monday, June 04, 2007

Butch as fuck!

Stained the front porch? Yeah.
Scraped, prepped and painted same? Yup.
Tore off back deck railing? Uh huh.
Busted same down, loaded into truck? Oh yeah.

More man than you'll ever be, more woman than you'll ever get!

A few nights ago as I was closing up shop I found a sphinx moth fluttering in the front window. Unlike the last time this happened I did not freak and flap like a nut; I simply opened the window a little wider and let it find it's way out.
A sphinx moth mimics a hummingbird-their general appearance, flight and habits. They come out in the evening and drink from the flowers, looking rather like the ghosts of hummingbirds, pale and slow, drifting along as the dew falls.
They make a helicopery noise in flight, a basso flaptering hum. A hummingbird makes an electrical zzzzzmmm, interspersed with manic chittering, and is all color and dash.

I have had hummingbirds land on me while I was working in the garden, and it's wonderful and a little alarming. They have no fear whatsoever, and so much to say! One hung upside down from the brim of my hat and stuck his tongue out at me. Others perched on my head or arms and looked around calmly, or read me the riot act.
I have had a sphinx moth brush my arm in passing...and I screamed.
They're....soft. And cold. And...mothy.
So much for Butch Muk.


  1. When you're away will the biker do some elaborate embroidery, defrost the freezer and spring clean the airing cupboard...or not?

  2. he'll do the dishes-badly, wash the clothes-badly, and fold laundry-only his things. meanwhile he leaves a trail of shoes, used socks and empty bags from the store in his wake.

  3. Anonymous9:20 AM

    You attract teeny birds and butterflies -you are obviously like a beautiful flower.

  4. I have to make a stand for the Yum Bik , If we do the washing up and washing properly you might make us to do it again(dont you girls know anything...duh) , and lady things are not easy to fold as all those silky/lacy little things iether fall to bits or slip about when you trying to work out which way up they go , not easy with a set of fingers that look like a pound of best pork sausages.
    You can imagine when Me and Mr C were roomies , it was a stand off of badly botched household chores till one of us gave in (me) and sorted the mess out.
    After two years of complete household piggery from Mr C .Now he has his own place, I actually got told off for leaving a coffee ring on his less than pristine coffee table. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  5. Ew are those the Silence of the Lamb moths?
    "It puts the deck railing in the truck"

    I love hummers. They can hover and even go in reverse...they are so are so much fun to watch;
    back and forth and back and forth.
    I would love to have a hummer land on me when I am out in the garden.

    I also really enjoy Hummingbirds.

  6. One of the first joys of being in America for me was watching the hummingbirds visit the lavender pots.
    Hey, what d'you know about 'mud-daubers'?

  7. blech, Mothy, I had goosebumps just reading the word.
    Dishes, laundry and folding - this is good even if it's bad, the rest of us should be so lucky!

  8. Eeeee-euw, I hatehatehate big moths. I cannot forget going to the loo in a campsite (yes, better idea to squat with your arse in the breeze to piss in the river, I know now) when I was about twelve and being utterly terrorised by the horrid sods. The loo was a litle slate outhouse thingy with actual proper plumbing and cubicles inside, and an electric light. Great, we thought, civilisation. Whose civilisation had claimed it for their own we did not discover until too late, too late.

    After it gets dark, switch on the light and all the huge bastards who have been roosting in there wake up and fight each other for the privilege of pinging off the bulb (what's that about, by the way? Idiots). My friend and I used water pistols to fight our way to the cubicles, shrieking like pubescent banshees on helium as we went. Cubicles mercifully less mothy. Did the necessary, went to flush, and my fingers closed around something large and furry with big wings that had been nesting in the shadows behind the handle. I screamed, it awoke, I screamed again, we both found ourselves sealed in the cubicle with all ideas about how to get out apparently erased from our brains by terror, and then I screamed some more. We skipped/flapped around one another hysterically for what seemed like a good five minutes before my friend's mum damn near kicked the door down because she thought I was Unwell.

    God, therapy's a bad thing. It makes me think people are interested in my childhood trauma. Soz FN.

    Hummingbirds though. Pretty and clever.

  9. Anonymous11:46 AM

    neato! i love hummingbirds.

    hard little butch aren't ya?

  10. I would be more worried about the sphincter moths.

  11. Oh oh FN. I noticed there was no mention of a protective coat of varnish. tsk tsk.

  12. "More man than you'll ever be, more woman than you'll ever get!"
    That is genius. I need that on a T-shirt.

    i want a hummingbird to hang on my hat and stick its tongue out at me. they have long tongues. i bet they love making out with each other.

  13. it's alays the litel things...*shiver*

  14. muttley: aw.*blush* it's just my honeyed nature, i guess.

    beast: why doesn't that suprise me? always a different story on their own patch, isn't it? my daughters' the same way. oh, but when it was OUR house? oh, let it fall where it may and let the maid pick it up, la di dah...

    homoE: most people say 'OW' when a hummer lands on them. then they say 'squish' or at least that's what the witnesses hear.

    ara: mud daubers the bird or mud daubers the waspy stingy thing?

    ziggy: unless you're all obsessive like me and HAVE TO DO THINGS ALL OVER AGAIN BECAUSE THEY FUCKED THEM UP!!

    violet: i dunno, it cracked me up! /oh gaaah; you grabbed one?! ewewewewew! what is it about moths that's so repulsive? it's not like their dangerous or anything...

    pink: hell yeah! *spits, adjusts balls, farts, orders volumizer from avon lady*

    vicus: THATS whats so disgusting about moths! they head right for the sphincter! or maybe thats british moths. british prison moths with a brown handkercheif in their right pocket. *cue martha wash*

    jungle jane: I am still somewhat undone by your recent pictorial dealing with unwanted appendage removal and I have lost track of my protective varnish altogether. please advise.

    cb: i bet they'd get their tangs tonguedled! and that's not original; it's an old disco queen t-shirt slogan! but you can still wear one if you want to. maybe to friday night roller boogie or something.

  15. "I have had hummingbirds land on me while I was working in the garden,"

    I suspect you're not moving around fast enough; they think you're a scarecrow :)

  16. Working whilst humming birds play around you. That sounds enchanting.
    All we get are May flys. They hit you in the face like a peanut fired from an air gun.

  17. I have nothing but bird poop land on me when gardening.

    I guess that is why I don't garden.

  18. Humming birds? I'd love that! Moths - eugh! I know they do a great job as part of the natural order of things, but still - eugh!

  19. I thought humming birds were found in sub-tropical places - are you sure they weren't sparrows?

  20. Frobes questions FN's twitching ability.

    We all duck.

  21. *hits the deck with tickersoid and covers head with big book*

  22. sopwithC: they think i am a beeyootiful flower!

    tick: i've taken a bumblebee to the face at 50mph on the Dyna. they lose their cute qualities at that speed. OW.

    awaiting: they're applying fertilizer!

    qenny: hey babaloo! it stops being charming when theres more than two ...they dont get along as a group very well. it's like being in the middle of a miniature version of the space battle from star wars.

    frobi: yes, you have caught me in a lie. they were tiny green and scarlet sparrows that fly backwards and can't remember lyrics. i wish we had hummingbirds but the sabretoothed tigers keep chasing them off.

    tick: cb: cowards.

  23. love the hummingbird stories. if i were one i would have peeked under your brim (yer hat love, yer hat), and stuck my tongue out too