Thursday, February 21, 2008

Lets Go Visit the Store! part 2

Garfy and Gale wanted to go visit Wally World! Luckily for them I had a birthday present to buy and a new digital camera! If everyone behaves we MIGHT get a snack! (Probably not though.)

It wasn't until I actually found a parking place that I realized that I might probably be about to commit a prosecutable offense. (I'm not real clear on the law here; it's private property but there's no expectation of privacy because it's a public facility.) ...clicky for biggie. bear in mind that every light pole has two cameras mounted on it too; and that the parking lot extends back behind me for nearly an acre.

At any rate, once I looked around with that in mind I noted for the first time that the amount of surveillance equipment was staggering. And this is just the parking lot!...satisfaction guraanteed, folks. for some reason this end of the store isn't as well-surveilled. it's a mystery.

Just inside the doors and to the immediate right is my first stop anywhere I go...the ladies room. Here's the washroom part:....they take nothing for granted here; everything has instructions (yes, even on the you-know-whats-) and the instructions are in three languages.

And here's the crippled poopin' stool. Now generally speaking Larry the Cable Guy is correct when he says 'The crippled poopin' stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stools'. This one happens to be an exception at the moment. I have to hand it to them though; this is the worst I've ever seen a Wally's stall ever.

Ah, now here we are just inside the main entrance. ...count'em. and remember, this is just one shot standing right inside the entrance looking in one direction.

I wanted to get a shot of all the surveillance blisters visible on the ceiling, and the pinhole aperature in the 'e' on the store television. Every check stand and associates station has an overhead camera and a microphone as well. I was too chickenshit to get a shot of that. Of course if they don't have at least ten different images of me by now it's not for lack of trying.

Anyway, here's what you all came to see. Yes, you really can buy a gun at Wally's.

Here's a better shot. This is pretty much the entire gun department here; just this counter with the glass cases behind it. The rest of the section holds various other sporting goods. I was hoofing ass past here pretending that my camera was a cell phone.

Here we are on the way out, and here's some typical Wally shoppers on their way in. See how many surveillance cameras you can spot.
You're off by three.

Back to the safety of the Heefalump Dumpaloon Mach 6! I dodge a shopping cart rolling slowly across the lot...

Just a pleasant reminder. Exuent Nations tearassing out onto the main drag hoping that nobody comes after her.

I probably had nothing to worry about, but I didn't make a major production about taking pictures either....I just strolled along and snapped without setting up shots in any way.

So. Where would you like to go next?


  1. I would like to go to the Corndog Festival next.

    And you should have your show on The Shopping Channel.

  2. Then take us to the factory where the "you know whats" are made.

    And bring back samples.

  3. IKEA! My former, current, and most likely future home.

  4. Thats the coolest shopping trolley EVER , with all its octagonal glory , its ALMOST a work of art. I want to go to the restroom that featured in the geriatric restroom horror. Ooooo h and I want to know what you define as a truck , so pictures please

    PS I can see the levitating baby jesus now......I am well happy

  5. I did a story on wal-mart on my news blog, BLOGJINX! half those cameras don't work, just ask fingers Malone. A nudist beach next please.

  6. Anonymous4:09 AM

    There are surveillance cameras everywhere in the UK, you can even get a parkng ticket because some ass spots you on the camera and posts it to you. I have seen Baby Jesus and I am enlightened!!

  7. mj: YOU'RE a corndog.

    W2: maybe someday...thats up in Canada. but yeah, that would be a good one!

    beast: I am glad that you are happy. it takes so little...picture of a flying baby....shot of a dirty toilet stall....

    knudie: OO YEAH! we are taking over the blogosphere with our Wally expose-ness!

    muttley: we have that here in some parts of Seattle, and up in Canada they have a mobile unit that they drag around. then everyone narks its location off and they broadcast it on all the radio stations.

  8. I'd like a tour of your knickers drawer.

  9. ummm... we have walmart here. ive never been inside it though... it looks like a dark and scary place. the one here now a health clinic in it, and a auto garage... i prefer not to x-ray scanned before shopping... so why not give us a tour of the local brewery? strip club?!?!

  10. I would like to go to South Africa or New Zealand next, please.

    Barring that, how about a tour... OF YOUR SOULLLLLLLLL??!!!!

  11. Wow I can't believe that the CIA isn't utilizing your natural espionagic (not a word don't bother looking it up) talents?

    I can't believe how many spycams there are on the ceiling HAHA and yet a thin piece of glass and a high school dropout are all that stands between some psychotic miscreant and the semiautomatics..

    "Lookee here Folks.
    A'm commencin' to make y'all famuss. YEEHAW!"

    Oh Oh Oh, I wanna go to the local Library and see if they have any 'nudie' books in the Health section?

  12. This is a good post, "Paul" LOL.
    You don't know me, and that's ok, but I just clicked on your name due to curiosity, and found that I like it here in the land of "Paul".
    Oh, I have a brother-in- law named paul maybe you two know each other. LOL.
    Anyway, I liked it so much here, I think I'll come back again soon.

  13. I love when you take us all along shopping with you! (i've got my sister hooked on your blog now too. we lufff you!)

  14. mj: can't tour something that doesn't exist.

    voices: as you can see, our Wallys is a bright and dementedly cheerful place, full of smilies and low, low prices! and surveillance!!

    danator: wait for Chaucers' Bitch to get back from Sith Efrica; she'll have pix. New Zealand is only a rumor. like my soul.

    homE: there are no naked people in america.

    cecille: well hello there! oo, oo, a newbie! did you know I have a policy statement? you could read it! it's in the tag list on the sidebar! everyone ignores it, but it's there. so, yeah. um. *looks around at nothing in particular*

    joy: oh thank you! they have a 12-step program for things like that now, just so you know...:)

  15. thank you FN, that was just wonderful. I felt like I was there....hey I was at about 10;30 this am. I bought underwear and did not notice all the funny little ceiling blisters.

  16. Hey, I'm in NZ...
    You should go to one of those markets where everything comes in economy packs.
    That would be cool...

  17. Oh wait, you did that.
    I'm sorry, my brain is moosh, because I tried to replace sleep with... Staying up.
    It's not working.

  18. Interesting thought about cameras: we're geting more and more of them in Britain, they've been reading numberplates for a while to work out who to charge for how many miles they've traveled, and now we're told that the new cameras will recognise how many people are in the car, and possibly even who they were.

    And, when I wandered around a store up in Northumberland with my camera, taking photos, rather like you have done, I was told quite brusquely by the floor management to stop taking photos. I pointed to their in-store surveillance cameras and said that so long as they were taking pictures of me, I felt no issues with taking pictures of them. I got walked out. Fuck them, I thought, I'll shop elsewhere. And did, and still do so.

  19. GALE: i never really paid attention until I took these pictures. then when i enlarged them i found EVEN MORE CAMERAS and i started to get really creeped out. i mean, DANG.

    noshit: i am sorry that you live in an imaginary country, but sometimes that happens. we love you anyway and are GLAD THAT YOURE BACK!! now go get some sleep! hard partying ahead!

    sopwith: they're slowly creeping in here too, mostly in the larger cities. i thought the 'television that watches you' right inside the front entrance of Wally World was a lovely touch of 1984. 'safe beneath the watchful eyes' indeed.

  20. I want a tour of yer knickers.

  21. Whoah! Back up! Sherlock's not the only Enzedder. (Oh, alright, I don't LIVE there, but I'm FROM there...)

    Those multiple cameras are so CIA. Spooky!

  22. Your Wally's doesn't have a live bait vending machine?

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