Monday, August 11, 2008


A short while back while I was outside gardening with my son a vegetarian-looking fellow floated past and said 'Hey, you better watch out or someone might come and steal those poppy pods from you."

Guess what. Last night ol' Tommy Chong paid me a return visit.

Just stepped right into the middle of the bed and tore the plants out of the ground when the pods wouldn't snap off.

And here's where he knocked the dirt off. Wouldn't want to carry that around.

Aw, but look! He paid! He left some money on the bottom step of my front porch!

I left him something, too.

Guess what, Mr. Hippie man? You missed a couple! That's right, you didn't quite clean me out, you dickless bakehead!

Gosh I sure hope you come back tonight.

Yes, do.


  1. Anonymous9:44 PM

    Not being current with the maryjane culture since the 60's....last I heard a bag of weed was 15 bucks,Large plastic baggie. But then I was making $1.65 an hour then. Later in the late 70s, I lived next to my landlady, she had funny looking tomato plants that got ripped off fairly quickly. R

  2. prolly rides a honda...

    and i think they dont even require a tag to bag one now a days...

  3. I think I just peed a little I'm laughing so hard. I'm sorry about your poppies, but at least you left him a nice little note.

  4. *laffs if they are Canadian moneys*

  5. Ooooh lets buld a hippy trap , with pointy sticks in a big old pit and snakes and stuff

  6. You're presuming hippie can read.

    Ugh, does your dirt smell of patchouli now?

  7. Wonder how high he got off of that bunch? Makes it all worth while.

  8. what an asshole bitch of a hippie. I would feel violated! wait, I like that sometimes. I would feel PISSED if somebody fucked w/ my poppies. Dickhead.

  9. i got $5 that says he takes your advice and visits the people down the street.

  10. Im not sure you can do anything with poppy seed other than sprinkle it on bread...

  11. I'm thinking the only way he's going to get high following this scheme is if they give hime something nice for pain in the hospital after you pump his backside full of buckshot. There have GOT to be easier ways.

  12. mutley, i hear you can make a mellow tea that tastes like crap out of the undried heads. no, haven't tried it, but i bet that's what the hippie did.

  13. Anon: late 60's prices. 1/4 was 15$ by the time I was *ahem* distributing. The joke is on mr. hippie man, though....if his jones is that bad, what he took will be just about enough to take a corner off the edge for 15 minutes....and leave him constipated as a motherfucker for the next week. oh yes...raw poppy milk? paralyzes the peristalic action of the lower intestines. he might as well have poked them up his butthole on the spot and saved time. Or, i would have been GLAD to do that for him...with a rake handle...or my car...

    voices: people like that always ride hondas, don't they?:D so you're saying I can just turn in the ears at the County Extension office and collect my bounty? SMOKIN!

    laken: welcome welcome you dirty, dirty girl! once my blood pressure comes down a tad I'll leave a comment on your site. my GOODNESS! how'd you find me? GLAD you found me!

    mj: first thing I checked. nope. shitty devalued american moneys. whew. *cries*

    beast: oh, I'm waaaaaay ahead of you *whittling punji stakes*

    footman: if he comes back its gonna smell like campbells chunky hippie stew.

    joeVegas: he would have needed approximately 1 acre of pods in this climate to provide enough alkaloid. papaver somniferum is a zone seven/neutral sand loam plant. mine here in zone 8-acid clay loam run really small and dry, while those in the right climate are big, fat, juicy things. stupid hippie.

    joy: I was mainly pissed that he came onto my property as a sneak instead of simply asking. its not like I have a 'aryan republicans for jesus' sticker in my front window; shit.

    pink: yeah, and in that case i think the neighbors ought to pay me a finders fee, too. stupid heroin sellers.

    muttley: pretty much correct. now, if i had a nice field someplace in, say, eastern washington....! *envisions future retirement hobby farm with a small kansas farmgirl passed out in the middle of it*

    dangerPanda: no KIDDING. people know we're bikers! they know we're armed! i am so fucking cheesed! i hope he passes a length of gut trying to crap, i really do.

  14. FN said: "i hope he passes a length of gut trying to crap, i really do."

    AHAHAHAHAHA!! This made me laugh and laugh and laugh! Can you shoot tresspassers up there in BFE?

  15. yes, where did that laken come from...

  16. Thats terrible!

    *quickly puts on sunglasses to hide pin sized pupils*

    Care for a slice of Meatloaf?

  17. i was about to hope that he comes back to find you and the biker waiting for him with a sawed-off double barrel, but actually i think the constipation is an even sweeter punishment. karma karma karma!

  18. I had a totally inappropriate flag - rebel flag with a chopper on it - someone liked it more than I. It and the pole it was on, went missing. Probably the same jerk who lifted your poppies. Bastard!

  19. *loads the shotgun and watches out for FN's poppy plants*

  20. joy: hey, its been known to happen. that ol' yenshi baby is a mean lil s.o.b.//and oh my yes, you can shoot trespassers. happens frequently, too.

    voices: someplace HOT.

    frobi: my advice-go chug a quart of olive oil and forget the meatloaf; start baking oat bran muffins. lots. XX!

    cb: yeah, and the mess factor is kept to a minimum too.on both sides of the issue, in fact...*snork*

    gale: not only a hippie but a wannabe! yes, that fits the profile....tonight, on CSI.

    daisy: *loads daisy and watches shotgun* its more fun that way.