Wednesday, August 13, 2008

UPDATED: Poppas' got a brand new bag

...and Gramma's got a brand new hat!

Do I look smoking hot?
Do I look sly as fuck?
Is my shakin' fu unbeatable as hell in this hat?

You tell me:

Now pause that shit at 1:21 and shout Hallelu, y'all.

The moment I put this hat on my head my sexxxay skyrocked into the infinite. Men were giving me that 'Sup, momma?' chin thing. Yes they were! And I was walking alongside my husband!!! High school boys were checking this out. I'm 48! I busted one kid, caught his eye and said 'Oh yes. M-I-L-F, honey" and he BLUSHED. (My husband had a dip in and nearly snorked it laughing.)

Honestly, ladies, do NOT underestimate the powers of the black trilby hat. Honey to the bees, my darlings. Honey.

Here's my score so far...

1. Black trilby hat.....YES
2. Ruby slippers........PENDING

UPDATE: even MORE smut now at

Unorthodox Juju

Yes folks it's a SMUTTASTIC SMUT-O-RAMA of SMUT, SMUT and more SUPER SMUTALICIOUS X-CITEMENT! It's a nonstop swingin' spree of KREAMY KITTENS and red-hot STUDS hungry for aXXXion! God how I love that sleazy 70's Russ Myers copy lingo! I could go on like that for PARAGRAPHS AND PARAGRAPHS AND PARAGRAPHS AT A TIME! And you want me to! Admit it! ADMIT IT TO GRANDMA! YOU WANT THE

ok fine.


  1. Sexaaaaaaaaaaaaay

    Some 'young' ladies of my aquantance would only benefit from wearing a full face ski mask and lots of bulldog clips

  2. Hats off to ya.

    I prefer a bowler myself. A bit Clockwork Orange, but it keeps the beggars at bay.

  3. off to buy myself a black trilby hat immediately.

  4. You should've said "GILF" to the kid, that'd have made him do a whole body blush and maybe even wee himself.

  5. Anonymous8:22 AM

    You definitely need the thigh high almost covers your womanhood jacket...then the ruby slippers.

  6. its funny what people will do when walking around naked in public wearing only a hat....

  7. Yeah hot like chilli hot Grandma!! Yeah!

  8. I find it is enough to shout "Hallelu, y'all" as I walk down the street to have the men falling at my feet.

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  10. I used to favor a fedora or porkpie, myself.

    I have to say, Rufus Wainwright rocked that outfit, even if his legs are a bit bony...

  11. beast: I know them! they're the Butt sisters! Bertha, Betty, Bella and Bathsheeeeeeeeeba Butt!

    Garfy: good for a bit of the ol ultraviolence, my little malchick!

    Joy: Dibs Washington state! the other 49 you can do with as you will!

    SSA: your dad about wee'd himself. fortunately he was busy choking on his LongCut when the cholo guy gave me the hanging eyeball! *freezer begins defrosting, smoke alarm goes off*

    Retro: I know! and the stockings with the seam up the back? oh yeah!

    voices: damn, you've noticed that too?

    mutaiDong: see we having small Cat here you smile so grinning! behavior to make my cheek reddening your word, sentence coy embarrassment or flirtatious! XX!

    mj: just think...if you lived in america you could just fire your gun into a crowd randomly and achieve the same effect.

    DaNator: dammit, I SO NEED to see pix of you in that too!

  12. Anonymous7:19 PM

    i see someone has been watching summer stock again.

    while the black hat is sexy, i prefer a baseball cap myself. it's great for those days when you don't feel like brushing your hair. just stuff all your hair into it and go. great for when you're running errands or moving furniture.

  13. ***Imagines Pinkies big bird nest do when she pulls her cap off***

  14. i agree FN and have pulled that myself when feeling a bit saucy...then the dog got my hat and i am left with the ruby slippers...dogs don't fuck with ruby slippers!

  15. I like hats. I use to have a grey felt hat with a feather in it. Wanted to know were you dancing down the treet in tights too?

  16. THAT is a hat.

    I've got a bowler meself...a derby.
    It is, as they say, the shizzle.

  17. Pink: you know Judy! God, the older I get the more I love her, too.//I have a sweetass leather motoring cap that I use for those 'bad hair, going out' times. Also doubles as an instrument of pain. Seriously...ever been whapped with a leather flatcap? No? Would you like to be?

    beast: *Imagines angry birds*

    daisy: I can only gnaw my own flesh in envy and HOPE that you are simply joking about owning a pair of the coveted footwear. I WANT MY RUBY SLIPPERS NOW!!

    Gale: I ALWAYS dance down the street in tights, Gale. *waits for gale to make the 'homegrown hallucinogens = inappropriate streetwear' connection*

    Geosomin: do they call you Little Alex? or is the brim sharp, OddJob? *covets in secret heart*

  18. Anonymous2:43 PM

    beast - the 80's called. they want their toupee back.

    fn - tcm plays judy all the time. and i'll take a rain check on the leather thing. in the mean time, you can practice slapping beast. he's into s&m anyway.

  19. FN...i thought every woman had a pair...don't they come are you suppose to click your heels three times and make it home? you better get on your biker man for that...if he wants you to come back home *wink wink*

  20. Anonymous7:22 PM

    i forget what the post was about, but daisy's comment made me wonder, every woman has a pair of what, exactly that come standard? boobs, eyes, socks, what? i need to know!!!

  21. pink drama...ruby slippers...

  22. I can't watch her perform without imagining some 'studio doctor' injecting her and Rooney with an arm full of smack.

    A little tilt of the hat and that come hither glance works for me.
    You're only 48 sheesh..anyway now that Madonna is 50 we all got some breathing room.

    I don't know if I've ever snorked when I was having a dip-in?
    I'm afraid to ask HA!

  23. Pink: beast is into anything that doesn't dump pickle relish on him first.

    daisy: every single reply i come up with for that comment is incredibly filthy.

    pink: Clydesdales. they pull that turnip truck you just fell offa.

    daisy: them too.

    Senor Coppens!: you wacky texmex wahine you! If you did snork, i bet both women remember it foldly. the seal too. how was your trip? how was Celine? did you see any Labradoodles?

  24. FN...that means i got a smile :)

  25. Um, got the legs too?