Sunday, January 22, 2006

Website Smackdown: Babyman vs. Tucker Max

Babyman looks like a middle aged guy in a baby girl costume.
Tucker Max looks like a middle aged guy in a yuppie fuck costume.

Babyman smells like baby powder
Tucker Max smells like stale bar, vomit and pussy.

Babyman only shits himself. Then he cleans it up.
Tucker Max shits on everyone.

Babyman has used his inherited wealth to live out a peculiar, yet harmless dream.
Tucker Max has used his dads' money to live out the motto 'I suck, you suck, everything sucks, suck suck suckity suck suck.'

Tucker Max adds 'Wah, I'm a rich asshole; I live at the bottom of a bottle.'
Babyman adds "Wah, I'm a baby, would some lady come give me a bottle?'

Barring natural disaster or accident, Babyman will live a long, healthy, weird life.
Barring natural disaster or accident, Tucker Max will die in five years when his liver leaps out of his abdomen and runs screaming into the night.

BABYMAN WINS: a lifetime supply of Similac, with iron.
TUCKER MAX WINS: a handful of Darvon, a glass of water and a plastic bag. So far you've just been dipshitting around. Get serious.

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